Pathetic Excuse for a Girl

I have admitted it before, many times... I'm not a girly girl.  That doesn't mean I'm butch (I hope), but I'm just not into fashion, shopping, makeup, hair removal and the like.  This was all reiterated to me as I prepared for my date night on Friday.

I've never HAD to wear makeup before.  Growing up, I had fairly nice skin (for a teenager) and didn't need to layer on foundation, concealer and powder just to go to school.  As an adult, I tried to develop a makeup regimen for work, but inevitably it would only last about a week.  Thankfully, as a teacher, no one really cares if you're made up or not.  I literally only wore makeup to go out on weekends.  But now, as a wife and mother, going out is not what it used to be.  I'm not going to put on makeup for play dates, parks and Chipotle.  So, I reserve it for special occasions... this year I have probably put on makeup only 4 times... no lie.

It helps, or doesn't help, that my husband HATES makeup.  He doesn't want to kiss my face with powder on it.  He doesn't want to kiss my lips if I wear lipstick or even chapstick!  Sweetly, he says I look better without makeup on.  His eyes are kind to me.

Ok, back to my Friday night getting ready fiasco.  I pull out my makeup, which sits inside a bin under the sink, in a ziplock bag... that's my "make up case".  And as I begin to pull out what makeup I have, I start running an inventory.  Let's go over this, piece by piece:

Yes, that's right... this is my entire makeup collection... that's it.  I have 3 brushes, one of which is a blush brush, but I do not own blush.  Then we have my powder.  Does that look like the right color for me?  It's not.  I bought it when I was a senior in college (2005) and I was performing in an opera where I was a doll-like character and needed my face to be white with bright pink cheeks.  Now, I mainly use it as under eye concealer.  Next we have my collection of shadows.  The newest is the purple, bought in December, the green was bought in 2009, the browns in 2004 and the gold... wait for it... in 2002.  Then we've got my eyeliner and mascara... also old and dried out and clumpy.  And, all this make up is from CVS or Walgreens.  

How in the world do I work with this stuff?  Then, I'm not really skilled at how to put on makeup.  I do the best I can with the little knowledge I learned while in high school from my friend Candice.  Thanks, Candice, you taught me everything I know.  This is my one and only look:

Impressive, huh?  And don't even mention my eyebrows... I can't find my tweezers.  Real girly of me!  I refuse to get waxed.  I can push out a baby, have a c section and deal with RA on a daily basis... easy peasy... but ask me to get my eyebrows waxed and I have an anxiety attack.  I never learned the meaning of "pain is beauty".  

Truthfully, I only care that I don't have good makeup on the few occasions that I get dressed up to go out.  And, since it's so few and far between, I can't justify going out and spending hundreds of dollars on department store brands for just a few nights out a year.  However, I should throw out all the stuff that's over 2 years old and buy new ones... even if it's drug store brands.  

Here's my final look.  At least my dress was cute!