The Cuban Mother's Curse

I'm not sure if this is simply the Cuban mother's curse, or if it knows no racial boundaries.
Forgetting your own child's name.

I grew up as an only child until I was 10 when my father remarried and I gained a brother through marriage, and then my mother remarried a year later and I gained 3 more siblings through marriage.  Before this, I was an only child, hence there should be no reason that my mother would forget MY name, however, the curse was ever prevalent.  Countless times I'd be called the name of my mother's sister followed by an apologetic "Nicole".
 
But as I grew and so did our family, the names kept piling on... Occasionally I would respond to any number of names... "Lorraine", "Monique", "Mariah", "Natalie".  Usually I was the only one home, so I figured she was talking to me.  My favorite was always when I'd get the long combo name followed by a swift Cuban curse, "Lorrainemoniquemariahnatalie-AY COÑO SU MADRE- NICOLE!" As if it was MY fault she couldn't remember the name of her own daughter.

But you know how they say the tables will turn?
They have.

I have two sons... and yet, I can't get there names together.  I spend my life yelling
"JO-Marco!"
or
"MA-Jonas!"

It has gotten so bad that my kids actually make fun of me... only 3 and 4 and they have a good laugh at their mother's expense.  Ay, que me espera! I'm afraid to know what awaits me when these boys are teenagers!

So as soon as I let that little "Jo" slip before calling for Marco, he's already laughing and asking me "What do you want JO-Mama?!"  Can you believe the nerve of that kid!?  What a smarty pants!
And of course Jonas joins in the fun... "MA-Jonas?! Noooo... that's not my name!"

If only I could just get it right... I technically should be able to do this seeing as I named them.  But alas, The Cuban Mother's Curse has inevitably taken hold.

Written on Their Little Hearts

You know, sometimes I really don't give my kids enough credit.  I think, oh, they're too little to do this, or that... we'll wait til their older.

Like with praying.  I had been praying for them and over them since they were in my belly, but WITH them?  No, I thought it was better to wait til they were older... until I realized, WHY Wait?!  We began night time prayers and progressed with meal time prayers, and now, 9 times out of 10, they remind ME to pray with them!

But still, I didn't give them credit.  I still wanted to wait til they were older with Bible verse memorization.  I figured that it was going to be too difficult, and honestly, would they REALLY remember these verses word for word for life?  Probably not... I know I don't!  Try as I might, I have a hard time memorizing scripture and especially references... I'm always like "somewhere in the Bible I know it says"... which is about the most unhelpful thing ever.  Thank God for Google... seriously!

So I figured that my limitations would also be theirs, I mean, they're PREschoolers!  But oh, how I was proven wrong.

One day, coming home from church, Marco (at the time he was 3), began reciting the Bible verse they had learned, and Jonas (at the time he was 2) was following along slowly behind.  I.Was.Amazed.

I began thinking about the whole point of scripture memorization.  Yes, of course, it's so that you can bring it up to help others, to answer questions, to offer encouragement or share the Truth... but that's all outward.  What about the inward reason?  Isn't it important to learn, meditate and memorize these verses to help US daily?  To help us remember that we are children of the one true God.  To help us resist temptation and lies when they come at us.  To have the Truth so so so engraved on our hearts and minds that we don't even have to THINK about it... it's second nature.  To know the Word is Truth as simply and obviously as we know that the sky is blue or that the grass is green.

This is exactly what I want for my children.  And what better time than RIGHT NOW to begin putting those words in their mouths that will be written on their hearts.

So that hopefully, when (not if) struggles come their way, they can lean on the truths that they have been declaring since before they can remember.  So that they can hang on the promises and goodness of God.  So that they know that even if they don't have each other, or me, that they have Him and He is enough.

I bought a white board and hung it in my kitchen.  My plan was to teach and review one Bible verse a month.  I don't drill it or shove.  I teach it by repetition and using hand motions.  We say it sometimes when I'm in the kitchen preparing their food and always at night before bed.  They love it and always ask for more or want to also recite the ones from the past.

Here are some of the scriptures we have already done:
- "I praise you because you made me wonderful" Psalm 139:14
- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind" Matthew 22:37
- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
- "The Lord is good to all" Psalm 145:9
- "God saw all that He had made, and it was very good" Genesis 1:31
- "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever" Psalm 136:1 *This month

As you can see, we haven't been doing it that long at all, but it is something I love and cherish and plan to continue.  We started when the boys were 3 and 2, but I wish we hadn't waited so long.

If this is something that's important to you and your family, let me encourage you not to wait!  Start today!  Give your child some credit... even if she/he's too little.  Try it and you might be surprised, as I was.  They are little sponges and are picking up more than we think.  And even if you have a baby, who will obviously not recite after you... pray these verses over her.  Let her hear you speaking the Truth to her.  We are planting a seeds in our children's hearts and I know that this is just one of the ways He has showed me how to water it.

"I will my law on their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people"- Jeremiah 31:33

Like Playing 20(,000) Questions

I know it's just the age.  

And I know it's not going to get better anytime soon.

But lately, every time Marco opens his mouth, it's to ask me a question.

Sometimes I feel like we're playing 20 (thousand) questions!

This is his "Huh?" face.

His questions go round and round and round and I find myself repeating myself and becoming frustrated at the never ending stream.

I'll give you an example.  Warning: by the end of this example you may, or may not feel incredibly stressed.

This is an excerpt taken from an actual conversation that occurred after Mauricio's car got picked up by a tow truck.

Marco: Mom, is that Mater? (as in Mater the tow truck from Cars)

Me:  Yes, it's a tow truck just like Mater.

Marco: But why is it red?  Mater's not red, he's brown!

Me:  Because maybe I think that's Mater's cousin. 

Marco:  What's he doing with Daddy's car?

Me:  Daddy's car broke down and so he's taking it to the shop.

Marco:  Where's the shop?

Me:  I don't know… we have to follow the truck because he knows where to go.

Marco:  But is it far?

Me:  I don't know… we'll find out soon.

Marco:  And what are they gonna do in the shop?

Me:  Fix Daddy's car.

Marco:  How?

Me:  I don't know… first they have to see what's wrong with it.

Marco:  What's wrong with it?

Me:  I don't know.

Marco:  Where's Daddy?

Me:  He's in the tow truck with the driver.

Marco:  But why?

Me:  Because Daddy has to stay with his car.

Marco:  But why?

Me:  Because that's Daddy's car.

Marco:  But where are they going?

Me:  To the shop to get the car fixed.

Marco:  Is it far?

And round and round and round and round it goes…

Ok, take a minute and relax… your shoulders are probably tense after that… mine are!

Here's the thing.  After about 5 questions, I'm ready to scream my head off "NO MORE QUESTIONS!" but I'm trying really, really hard not to do that.

I'm finding that this is a challenging issue because while on the one hand, he's annoying the heck out of me, on the other hand, I don't want to squash his inquisitiveness or make him feel like he can't ask questions.

I remember being four years old and also being rather inquisitive.  My mother always reminds me of such times… It was my "But Why Mommy" phase.  And she too would eventually become exasperated and yell, "BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!".  While I'm pretty sure she didn't scar me for life, this is not the approach I want to take with my children. (Sorry mom!)

First of all, girls are different than boys.  I know there is nothing she could have or can ever say to make me shut up.  I have always and will always talk to my mom.  But like I said, girls are different than boys.  There will come a time, when my boys are teens, and they just stop talking.  It's typical teenage boy talk.  "How was your day?" "Fine" "How was school?" "Boring" "Did you learn anything?" "No".  But I think that that might make me more exasperated than playing 20 (thousand) questions!  At that point, I may scream "GIVE ME MORE QUESTIONS!" 

One of the best pieces of parenting advice I've ever heard was that if you want your children to talk to you about the BIG stuff later on, then you've got to talk to them about the LITTLE stuff now.  Because even though it may seem like LITTLE stuff to you, it's probably BIG stuff to them.  And you've gotta always keep them talking… never to close the lines of communication. If the lines of communication get closed right now, it's 100% my fault and 100% due to my selfishness.  

I don't want to be the mom that yells "NO MORE QUESTIONS!".  I want to be the mom that continues through 3 or 7 or 38 rounds of 20 questions.  I want to be the mom who practices her patience and shows grace and love to her children.  I want to be the mom who says "well, let's find out" and opens up her laptop.  I want to scour the web searching for answers with my kids and seeing them connect the dots and find new things to ponder over.  I want to be the mom that encourages their inquisitiveness and develops their desire for learning more and knowing more.  

But how can I become that mom if I'm not willing to answer a hundred questions about where the tow truck is going?  If I'm not willing to answer those questions, why would he trust me to answer any other ones he has?

So, I'm challenging myself to become the mom I want to be.  I'm going to continue to take deep breaths and brace myself for the longest game of 20 questions I've ever played… even if it lasts years!  

And hopefully it will.

A 3 Year Old Roller-coaster

Source: someecards.com via Nicole on Pinterest

3 Year Olds.
Holy Hell.

1 is fun.  Toddler is exploring, watching, imitating, loving and sweet.
2 is a bit more challenging.  Child is growing, testing, learning, following, loving and sweet.
3 is a freaking roller-coaster that I didn't want to board.

This roller-coaster has it's ups...
We're playing together, reading or coloring.
We're talking or singing or dancing.
He's being obedient, cooperative and helpful.

Then it has it's downs...
Whining. (Did he forget how to just talk?)
Melt downs.
Kicking and screaming.
Fighting.
Laying face down on the floor.
Talking back.

OMG... where is my sweet yet challenging 2 year old?!
He's only been 3 for a month and a half!  I'm afraid to see what the rest of this year has in store!

The other day, I was on a Mommy&Marco date when he began acting up at the restaurant.  "Ewww, I don't liiiiiiiiiike it".  And hiding under the table.

I start getting upset.  This is not the way I envisioned our date to play out.  So I begin to discipline.  "Marco, if you don't get into your seat right now, we're gonna have a problem".  Then the counting.  "Don't make me say 3... 1... 2..." and he sat.  Whew.
Then a lady who was watching me actually COMPLIMENTED me on my disciplining methods.  Here I felt like I was grasping at straws, doing anything within my power not to rain down fury on my son in public, and someone was impressed by my madness!
So what did I learn from that?
3 is going to be a challenge.  Even bigger than 2.  2 is just prep work for 3.
And as the primary disciplining parent, I have to bring my A game ALL THE TIME.
Consistency is key.

He may have his roller-coaster of emotions... half the time he doesn't even know why he's melting down... he seems like a hormonal teenaged girl!  But I have to remain the same.
I can't climb on that roller-coaster with him.
The rules are the rules ALL THE TIME.
If I count to 3, then I HAVE to follow through... every single time.

It's exhausting, but if I want my son to see 4, it must be done.  For both our sakes!

Intentional Living

I was reading through the latest edition of MomSense, a magazine published by MOPS.  This magazine is perfect for the busy mom... it's articles are no more than a page long and always full of funny antidotes, charming stories and convicting words... and no advertisements to entice you to spend money!  I usually read it from cover to cover.

I came across an article called Invitational Living (pg 21 if you've got it) and it got me thinking... a lot.  There is little difference between invitational living and intentional living.  In fact, if you're living intentionally, you're automatically invitational.

Where am I going with this?

To live intentionally means to do everything with a purpose... to live for a goal.
I brush my teeth because I would like to see them grow old with me... that's intentional!
I feed my children nutritious foods because I would like to build healthy habits that will be long lasting... that's intentional!
I read to my children because I want them to develop a love for learning... that's intentional!
I teach Bible stories to my children because I want the Word of the Lord to be engraved on their little hearts... that's intentional!

I like to think that most everything I do throughout my day is intentional... and if it isn't, I've got to work on that!

Another way I've been intentional lately, has been by reaching out beyond my comfort zone for the sake of other mothers.

Your kids are playing at the park and you see her, sitting on the bench, alone.

You've all been there... I know I'VE been there.

How hard would it be to go over and sit next to her and strike up a conversation?
For some of us, the thought is paralyzing.  The possibility of rejection is always present.  She could give you THE face (you know the one) or be short with you.
Yeah, that's absolutely true.

But what if she's new in town?  I've been new in town and dying for someone... ANYONE... to come and invite me to be a part of their cool club.  I was dying to know where the best parks were... which restaurants were to die for... what churches had great kids programs.

Or maybe she's not new in town, but she's the very first of all her friends to become a mom... and now she feels isolated and alone.  She can't talk to her friends because they're all at work and all she has to talk to is a beautiful blubbering 6 month old... he's cute, but not a great conversationalist!  I'm sure she's DYING to pick your brain and just have some adult interaction.


So often, we think that giving a sweet "hi" and a smile is enough... but is that intentional?  Is that invitational?

You don't know what to say or how to strike up a conversation?  My mom always told me to say, "Hi, my name is Nicole, what's your name"... but I can't think of anything more awkward than THAT!  So usually, I simply start asking them about their kids... I mean, really, what mom doesn't love to brag on her kids a bit... I know I do!  Give me the mic and I can talk about my boys all day long!  You wanna get a mom talking, ask her about her kids... even if they look like monsters to you, they're her pride and joy! 

Now, just because you talk to a random mom doesn't mean you have to become BFF's with her... but you could!  Maybe you realize you have a connection... your kids play well together... and voila! a friendship is born.  It could happen... it's happened to me!  If you feel that connection, don't let it end... ask her for her number or email... or if that's too intimidating, promise to find her on FB later that night... and do it!  Make plans to meet up again... don't let that opportunity for authentic connection slip by just because it's time to go.

Here's a challenge.  It's summer time!  Time for kids to be outside and moms flock together under the shade.  Why not step outside your comfort zone a bit and live intentionally?

It might change another moms life.
It will definitely change yours.

Mom Connection & Giveaway!

Being a mom to a young child can be so hard.  I know, I go through it every day.  When your day in and day out consists of a rigorous schedule that you must keep in order to maintain your sanity, life can become monotonous.  Daily tasks include feeding- sometimes force feeding, changing diapers, making potty runs, changing clothes- sometimes 3 times a day, wiping noses, wiping hands, filling sippy cups, cleaning spills, buckling car seats, singing the ABC's- again and again and again, forcing nap time, giving baths, making dinner, watching Mickey Mouse Club House- again and again and again... ok, you get the picture.  Here's where some of you scoff and say, "that's not so bad".  Yeah, you're right, it's pretty great!

BUT!!! It's easy to become disconnected, isolated and depressed.  How does this happen with so much activity and responsibilities every day?  It's easy when the only person you talk to ALL day EVERY day is a 2 year old.  When all your friends are working or not yet moms and when your husband comes home from a long day at work and doesn't want to hear about the latest diaper dilema, your life becomes very lonely.

That's what Mom Connection by Tracey Bianchi is all about.  How to get our groove back... our rhythm. How to see the need to connect with other people and take it!  How to step out of our comfort zones and remember that we CAN'T walk this path alone!  By nature we are relational... women especially!

Tracey splits her book into 3 sections that each focus on a different area of our life as a mom in order to help us get that rhythm back on track.  The first section teaches us to let go of the Mom-petition and realize that we need one another for connection.  We learn that our weaknesses and our strengths don't have to divide us, but can uplift us and bring us closer together.  In the second section, she discusses all the people around us that move to our groove... our families, our extended families, our friends, our spouses and even our communities.  And in the final section, she really challenges us to reach out and help others to find their rhythms too.

I LOVED this book!  I laughed out loud, I cried unashamedly, I sometimes looked over my shoulder to see where the hidden camera was... because seriously, some of this could have been written by ME!  It just really goes to show what an amazing connector Tracey is!  She's a mom just like us... she knows what we struggle with daily... she knows what our greatest fears and failures are... and she's not afraid to call us out on it!  She uplifted me more than once and I would say, "HECK YES!" to her words of affirmation.

If you're a mom to a preschooler and you're feeling disconnected, you NEED to pick up this book and reclaim your rhythm!  And I'm here to help you get started!

GIVEAWAY TIME

MOPS International sent me this book to review and also an additional copy to give away to one of my beautiful readers!  How lucky are you?!

Here's how to enter:
Leave me a comment saying what YOU do to maintain the rhythm in your daily life.  (Please leave your email address so I may contact you in case you're the winner!)

The giveaway will close on Sunday at noon and the winner will be announced later that evening.  It'll be a Happy Mother's Day indeed!

Rhythm In Our Lives

I've just begun reading a book for a review given to me by MOPS. At the end of each chapter there are reflective questions to answer. I thought its be fun to answer them here and get a dialogue going... Then if you'd like, you can get the book and be inspired to be a better mom too!


The book is split into 3 sections, so this is one of three posts I'll do, aside from the review itself.






Hula Hoops:
Your Life Has a Rhythm

1. How does the idea of living into a better rhythm excite and motivate me?
It inspires me to know that while I'm trying this or that, I am learning and growing. I am molding myself into a better mom... The mom my children need me to be. I know in my head that the hard days will all offer a payout in the end... Breakthrough. But that doesn't make it any less painless. I know that if I have confidence in my parenting and mothering, my children will also be more confident and secure. My groove is the pace I set for us.

How does this idea of living into a rhythm make me feel nervous or uncertain?
Mostly in it's consistency. If we develop a schedule or routine, it's up to ME to maintain it. If I dont, then our groove is thrown off. That is extremely evident in temper tantrums, crankiness and disobedience. I know we need to have wiggle room and we can't have every minute predetermined, but overall, kids need structure, discipline and consistency. And its exhausting.


Teeter Totter:
Moving Beyond the Competition to Connection


1. What idea do you hope to put into practice for your family?
Something I was talking about with a friend today, actually.  We were talking about how scared we are that when our boys are teenagers, they will shut us out and not want to talk to us anymore.  A way to possibly curve this is to encourage open communication starting NOW.  Yes, my eldest is only (almost) 3, but if we start now maybe it'll be habitual, normal and natural.  We can start at the dinner table, "how was your day", "what did you learn in school".  Of course we need to alter these questions and conversations as they get older in order to keep it flowing.  Always open ended questions!  This is something I'd like to incorporate into our daily routine.  


2.  What does not work for your rhythm and why?
Mostly we're really "go-with-the-flow" kind of people and my children have adapted to that method.  Jonas is a little less relaxed, but he's getting the hang of it.  Like I said before, we need to have wiggle room... plans changes.  We try to keep a schedule with no strict times... things just happen in an order, but not according to any particular time. So lunch can be at noon or at 1 on any given day... and it's ok, as long as if right after lunch comes a nap.  More like a check list than a timed schedule.  It works for us... keeping strict times would probably stress me out too much. 

Two or More Players:
We All Need Help

1. Where can you find connection in your chaos?
I definitely find time to connect on a daily basis.  I do not feel alone in this mothering journey... any more.  There was a short time when I did.  But now I actively seek out people to become friends with.  Since moving to Miami, I have made numerous "mom friends" that I can call up, meet at a park, go to their house or just have lunch.  It has made this move and my life so much more enjoyable!  
Believe it or not, another reason I don't feel so lonely is because of my blog.  I have "met" so many wonderful moms who are just like me... struggling, learning and loving.  We encourage each other through sweet comments and chat on twitter.  I don't even know where most of them live, have never heard their voices, but I'm glad to have them to connect with!
I also have a best friend that is a mom and we chat almost every day.  We vent, joke, cry, encourage and uplift each other.  Even though we live hundreds of miles apart, she helps me find my way through the chaos of motherhood on a daily basis... and I'm so grateful to have that. 

2.  Where do you find this idea impossible?
In the book, she makes note that basically if dinner isn't served because you needed a time to chat with a friend, that's ok.  While I can see that at moments of near break-down it's ok, it shouldn't be habitual.  If that were the case, it'd be happening on a weekly basis.  I'd much rather be chatting it up with a gal pal than slaving over a stove with screaming children at my feet!  But I don't think my husband would appreciate that very much.  There is a time for these connections to take place, but not if it means neglecting basic responsibilities. 

Hide-and-Seek:
Discovering Your Gifts and Talents

1.  What is one gift/skill I know I've received?
I know that I am a gifted leader and communicator.  I think I lost sight of that for a little while, but it's becoming more clear in my life.  I remember that in high school, I was in student council for all four years.  I was the school's soloist on many occasions.  I gave speeches and sang in front roomfuls of people!  I was not afraid.  This is a gift... definitely.  
I have recently put this gift to good use by developing a local chapter of MOPS here in Miami.  I initially had no intentions of being the coordinator, but as time passed, I kinda walked into the role rather easily.  I feel both proud and humbled to be able to lead a MOPS group and I know that God has developed me for this role.  I pray that our little group continues to grow and begins to make an impact on moms across Miami. 

2.  What is one gift/skill I definitely do not have?
I do not have the skill of being hospitable.  I would like to... really, I would, but it just doesn't come easily to me.  And it's not really something I enjoy doing (how bad does that sound).  When I try to do something sweet for someone else, I feel like it's a chore... and I always feel like it's not good enough or pretty enough.
Which leads me to the second skill I suck at... crafting.  I know it sounds stupid!  But seriously, they go hand-in-hand.  If I give someone something, I want it to be cute... but it never is.  I have the craft skills of a 3rd grader... a flunky 3rd grader.  Pinterest is killing me by the way... just flaunting all of my inadequacies all over the place!  But I still try in these two areas... I want to grow and learn.

Breakthrough

The days are long.  Oh, so long.

The tedium of the small tasks, the day-to-day, becomes a chore.

Consistently disciplining, correcting, instructing is exhausting.

And then it happens...

BREAKTHROUGH

Throughout this week, I've been puzzled.  Who in the world is this child and where is MY 2 year old?!  Marco is transforming.  I don't know if it's because he's almost 3 or if he's just "getting it", but something strange is going on here.

No fights during bed time.  No fights during nap time.  No fights about having to go to the bathroom.  No fights about getting in the car.

If you asked me what my mothering mantra was, I would say, "Listen and Obey, Right Away!"  That is something I repeat to my children a hundred times a day.  And in the last few days, he's done just that... he's listened and obeyed RIGHT AWAY!

Let me give you an example from yesterday:
Yesterday morning, I heard the boys wake up over the monitor.  Marco hopped into Jonas' crib, as he usually does, and they began playing together.  Except I didn't hear any screaming coming from Jonas... Marco wasn't torturing him today.  When I walked in, after snoozing for 15 more minutes, this is what I saw:

My children... MY children... sitting side by side, reading their books. CALMLY.  What?  Who are these kids?!

Marco then got out of the crib and told me he was ready to get dressed, he went through his drawer, picked out his clothes (approved by me) and went to the bathroom to pee and dress... by himself.  By the time he was done, I was also done with Jonas so we came out to the living room for breakfast.

As I prepared their breakfast, they played with their toys and watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  They were playing so nicely together, that I was even able to go dress without them... in peace... unheard of!  Once I was done, I came out and gave them their breakfast and we were off to my MOPS meeting.

Marco got in the car and began buckling up.  And when we arrived, he held Jonas' hand in the parking lot and helped walk him to his class.  On the way home he told me about his time and as soon as we got home he went to his room to "get dressed for his nap".

He ate his lunch and watched a tv show.  When the show was over, I told him it was nap time, to go turn off the tv.  All he said was, "ok, mom" and he did as told.  Then he told me he wanted to pick up his toys before his nap... ummm, ok.  And he did.  Then he went to bed, really quietly as to not wake Jonas, snuggled up, and said "I love you, mom".

And here I am... in total shock... writing this post.

I am so proud of him... of what kind of person he is becoming.  And I'm SO proud of myself!  I MUST be doing something right.  And I know kids are like waves... one day is bad and the next is good.  I'm bracing myself for the storm.  But in the mean time, I'm going to relish the peacefulness.  I'm going to bask in it.

It's really rewarding to see a payoff.

Mothering sometimes feels like an uphill battle... but when there's a plateau, it's time to relax, enjoy, breathe.

I am reaping the fruit of my labor.  The labor is excruciating... but the fruit is oh, so sweet.

And breakthrough?  It feels good.

The Ideal Mother

This weekend, my sweet cousin Mariah paid me the nicest complement I've ever been given. She told me that in her eyes, I was...

The Ideal Mother

Wow... that just knocks the wind right out of you, doesn't it?  Those are some hefty shoes to fill!

Let me start by saying that Mariah is only 18.  And what little she sees of me, she always sees in rose tinted glasses.  Being 10 years older than her, I've always been the "older and wiser cousin" who she's turned to for advice and has looked up to.  And over the years, we have formed a pretty bad-ass relationship... she knows she can tell me anything with no judgement, just love.

So Mariah labeled me as The Ideal Mother, and I had to laugh out loud... I am SO far from being ideal.  She said she was impressed with how kind, fun loving, sweet and smart my boys are.  Yes, they are (and I do toot my horn for that), but she doesn't see the other 99%.

Being a GOOD mother is so ridiculously hard.  Equally the BEST and HARDEST thing any of us will EVER do.  But being an IDEAL mother is actually an impossibility.

Is it ideal to think that you can calm your newborn down if you just put him in the freezer for 10 minutes? (I didn't DO it, I just THOUGHT about it, calm down).  Is it ideal to roll your eyes when your newborn is crying again?  Is it ideal to think that maybe having #2 so soon was a mistake?  Is it ideal to tell your toddler to "dry it up" or "suck it up"?  Is it ideal to scream "SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" when it's taking 10 minutes to get in the car?  Is it ideal to sometimes want to go bonkers on them when you've had it up to here?!  Guys, I know this is gritty and ugly, but it's real, and it certainly ISN'T "ideal".

Wouldn't I love to be the picture perfect mom?  Freshly manicured and prim... wearing a flowing dress and apron with maybe a smug of flour on my forehead.  My children all sweet and polite, "yes please, no thank-you".  And when things get heated, instead of losing my dang mind, just telling them to "settle down now" or "go play quietly in the corner", and they listen?

This seems like Bizarro world to me.  This is not MY life... and I'm pretty sure it isn't any of YOUR lives either!

So I can't aim to be The Ideal Mother... I can't and I wont even try.  I'll never measure up to "ideal".  I'll never be patient enough.  I'll never be prepared enough.  I'll never cook well enough.  I'll never be dressed well enough.  I'll never be cool enough, or strict enough, or green enough, or liberal enough or enough of whatever the latest mom-fad is.  So why worry about it.

For MY kids, I'm the BEST mom they could possibly ask for.
But just in case, they don't have a choice anyway!
Bwahahahaha

A Modest Mama

If you know me in real life, you know that I'm not a very modest person... much to my husband's dismay. If we're in a group of girls, I'll change in front of everyone... why not?  I pee with the door open and I talk on the phone while on the toilet too... yeah, so?  I had NO problem with nursing in public... while I tried to be modest, if a little boob slipped out, oh well.

I grew up in a family that doesn't know the meaning of "modest'.  My mom still gets dressed in front of me and after I had my babies, she even helped me shower.  No shame.  It's my MOM!

But having boys kinda threw me for a loop.  My mom doesn't have any sons, so I couldn't ask her, and my mother-in-law is modest to the max, so I couldn't really ask her either.  Two extreems.

When exactly is the right time to stop dressing (or rather, undressing) in front of your son?

I got the answer... Yesterday.  Yesterday was the right time for me to stop dressing in front of my son.

When Jonas was born, Marco was only 15 months, so when I would whip-it-out to breastfeed, Marco didn't know or care.  As he grew, it was the norm.  He just didn't think about it.  I quit breastfeeding in September, (almost 6 months ago), and so the breast sightings have been less frequent.  You know, just not every 3 hours.

But what I've seen is that now, instead of it being the norm, Marco is starting to notice... he's starting to stare.  A few months ago, I knew we were coming onto this because when I took off my clothes, he looked up with a questioning face and said, "Mama? Wass dat?  That for Jonas milk?" And I told him that it was, but not anymore. A few other times, he's just looked.  And sometimes he passes his hand over my breasts while cuddling... once he even gave it a squeeze!

Well, yesterday he was trying to poop and taking forever and I wanted to shower.  Since we're at our in-law's, the 4 of us share a bathroom.  So I just started taking off my clothes to jump in.  I turned my back to him, so he wouldn't get the whole view, and he smacked my butt and said, "it's your boody", (which is fine, doesn't bother me), but then he wanted to see the pee-pee too.  He said, "Mama, where's your pee-pee?" I just hopped in the shower, hoping to stop any further questioning.

From the shower he continued to ask me, "Mama, you don't have pee-pee?" and I said, "No, I'm a girl".  I mean, really, I never thought I'd have to explain this to my two-year-old.  When he finished his business, he tried to pull open the curtain to have himself a good look... thankfully Mauricio stopped him.  Mauricio took him to another room, but within a few minutes, he had escaped, came running back in the bathroom and tried to look in again!

I know he's just curious.  I know that he doesn't understand and that he sees a difference between me and the rest of our little family.  He sees his dad and brother naked all the time, and he knows that they don't look the same way I do.  And his curiosity doesn't bother me, really.  But I'm not about to give him an anatomy lesson using my own body, either.  That's going overboard.

So what do I do?  (Aside from stopping the daily peep shows, of course.)  Moms of boys, how did you know it was time?

One thing is for sure, from now on I'm keeping my clothes on.  I'm about to become a modest mama.

Peanut Butter Heart

Sometimes it's the little things.

When I was a little girl, my mom used to make my lunch sandwiches.  She'd make my PB&J's and always tell me she was putting extra love in it.  She'd take her knife and smooth a heart into the peanut butter before sticking the jellied bread on top.  When I ate it, I always knew there was a heart inside... with all of my mom's love.

When I went to high school, she'd still make my sandwiches... and still draw in the heart.  Even though I was way too cool for that "kid stuff", I still secretly loved it.

When I went to college and would come home for lunch, she'd stand in the kitchen and make my PB&J's and even still draw that heart inside.  By this time it was a force of habit.  And I still loved it... it was my secret heart.

Today while making a PB&J for my boys, I remembered my mom.  I asked Marco if he wanted extra love in his sandwich, and drew it a perfect peanut butter heart.

While he ate it, he knew it was there.  His secret heart, with all of his mama's love inside.

Just 5 Minutes

I'm sure by now you've all read the Don't Carpe Diem article that was rocking every mom's world last week.  It was a great article and I felt I could relate to it pretty perfectly.

What the writer says is true... the day to day sucks.  And anyone who thinks or imagines or says that it's "easy" or "joyous" is full of it.  Being a mom is a tiring uphill battle.

My father-in-law says that being a parent is a Horrible Paradise.  I loved that.  A paradise because what is better than having children and seeing them grow?  Nothing.  But it's horrible because it's difficult.

And from moms with grown children, we hear "oh just wait, time goes by so quickly"... and my favorite (because it's true) is "the days are long but the years are short."  The days are tortuously long.

Then this morning I had a little chat with my mom.  She mentioned that she was passing by a landmark where "I used to let you take a sip from your water on long trips".  She was remembering me as a child.  And she started to cry.

One thing about my mom... she cries... a lot.

Me, being used to the waterworks, brushed her off.  But then she said something that struck a chord in me...

"Sometimes I just want 5 minutes with my little girl". 

And then I started to cry.

Although she is so happy and fulfilled to have seen me grow up, have a life of my own and have children of my own, it doesn't change the fact that I'm her baby... and she misses her baby.  Not that she wants me to be a baby... but maybe just for 5 minutes.

And don't I already feel that way?  I look at pictures of my boys, smushy faced and wrinkly, and I want to hold them again... like that... for 5 minutes.

I do not want a newborn... I have no desire to revisit that stage of my life.  But for 5 minutes?  Absolutely.

I'm so happy my children are growing and learning and moving forward every day.  I am proud of the way we're raising them and the values we're instilling in them.  I don't want to stop moving or move backwards.

But I would like a tiny time portal. Is that too much to ask?

Just for 5 minutes.

-------------
On this day in 2011: Proud Musical Mama

Tough Love

There's a famous story about me that gets told more often than I like.  It's about my first day at work... ever.  I was teaching K-8 music at a private school and had never stepped foot into a classroom (as a teacher) before that day.  You see, I wasn't really qualified for this job, as I have a performance degree... not a teaching one.  I was meant born to be a diva... but as life would have it, I was not.  So I grudgingly agreed to teach for a fee.

Well, when you're first going in to teaching, everyone tells you that your first days set the tone for your entire year.  You need to lay down the law and take control on day 1 or you've already lost them.  Basically, be a huge bitch.  Only, they didn't tell me that maybe I could ease up with the kindergardeners. Oops.

So, in my kindergarden class, I had a little girl who started acting up... you know, like a 5 year old... only I thought she was being disobedient.  So I put her on time out.  I am NO NONSENSE!  Well, naturally she started to cry.  But when I mean cry, I should actually say wailing... or screaming like a banshee.  It was horrible and set the tone in my class... a negative tone.

So I told her, "If you're gonna cry, cry in the corner quietly".

That's where I get my notoriety. How could I possibly tell a 5 year old girl, on her FIRST day of school EVER to cry QUIETLY in the corner?!  What kind of a monster am I?!

You know what I figured out teaching that first job?  I'm not very good with little kids.  I don't care if your "finger hurts" or if you "miss your mommy"... I just don't.

And now, as a MOM, I realize I STILL DON'T CARE!

Not even with my OWN kids.

Please don't get me wrong, I adore everything about my kids.  And if they are genuinely hurt or sad, of COURSE I comfort them.  But like I said, I am no nonsense.

If Marco is faking it... I tell him to "dry it up".
If Marco is over reacting about an injury... I ask him if we should "cut it off"?

Most of the time when he gets hurt, I give him a rub and a kiss and send him on his way to go play.  And for that, I have a pretty tough kid.  Now I know that when he cries... when he REALLY cries... it's because he's REALLY hurt.

With Jonas, I'm much softer.  Aside from being younger, his demeanor is much more sensitive than Marco's.  He gets his feelings hurt and cries with lots of emotion... tears, sniffles, gasps and all.  It's all a little dramatic, but every kid is different.

That's just how I am.  Not even the joys of motherhood could soften my heart.  haha.

And as for my teaching?  In that one year, I realized I'm not cut out to teach elementary.  I got a job the very next year teaching Middle School Chorus and found my niche.  I LOVE middle schoolers.  I get them.  They get me.  I can give them my "tough love" and they love it.

Building Bad Habits

My mom likes to sing me a song. It goes, "hecha me a mi la culpa de lo que pasa". A translation: blame me for what happens. Basically, she tells me I blame her for everything. Not true. But this, I will blame her for. I mean, I have to blame someone... Am I right?!

I remember being 4 years old and sitting in the backseat of my parents car. I'm watching my mom, as she absentmindedly puts her finger in her mouth and tears off a piece of her nail. My 4 year old mind watches this and immediately wonders what it'd be like to do what she does. So I do. And I'm hooked. From then on, I have never been able to break the habit of biting my nails.

I've tried many methods to try and break this habit. As a child, we put nasty tasting polish on my nails. And I figured that if I just ensured the taste long enough, it would soon fade. Then when my arthritis adjusted my jaw so that I couldn't bite with my front teeth, I figured I could bite with the side, or just use my fingers to tear. (it's bad, I know). The ONLY thing that keeps it somewhat under control is getting weekly manicures. If my nails are nice, pretty and clean, I won't bite or pick as much. But forget it... You know how expensive that can become?!?!

After watching the show Obsessed on Netflix, I discovered a few things about my habit. The show follows people with severe OCD that manifests in compulsions. While these people are waaaaay extreme, I can see that I share some tendencies. This habit has been with me for soooo long, that it's part of who I am and I'm not sure I can change that. What I have realized that I share with the weirdos on the show is that I do it more when I'm anxious. I also do it to unwind and relax. When someone stops me from doing it, I feel more anxious and I can't stop thinking about how I just need to bite it to "fix it" and then it'll be ok. Only "fixing it" always inevitably makes it worse. It's bad. I know.

But now I'm starting to realize just how much I need to stop. Not for me. But for Marco. Here's what he sees a lot:

And this is what I'm seeing in return:

He actually says that he needs to fix his "nanuls". And he picks and bites. He also asks me if I'm fixing my nails too. Oh jeez, why?!?! So here I am, passing on to my son the same bad habit that my mother passed on to me. What a vicious cycle!!!

But I don't know how to stop it. I do it so absentmindedly that when I realize I'm doing it, it's too late.

I know I need to put an end to it, before I form a habit in him that is unbreakable.

Wow, What a Mom!

And no, I'm not talking about myself.

I'm talking about MY mom.  She's nuts, really... but seriously great.  You know I'm not the type to sugar coat things... and if you've been reading for a while, you know I've got some major snark, so this isn't gonna be your typical sappy post.

My mom, like I said, she's nuts.  She makes me crazy more often than not.  She's loud... sooooo loud.  And she curses up a storm.  She has taught me a lot about how not to behave.  But for all her faults, she is one HELL of a mom.

She constantly teaches me about sacrifice, selflessness and unconditional love for your children.

She always tells the story of when I was a baby and how she had to be a SAHM to take care of me because I was so sick and needed round the clock care... "I stayed home for 4 years and we were so poor we were eating picadillo (ground beef) every night and I had holes in my underwear".  It's one of those stories you've heard since you remember breathing and it's like, yeah yeah yeah, ok.  It makes no impact on me.  I mean, yeah I was there, but it feels like I wasn't, so I'm not impressed.  For her, this is probably her first real encounter with sacrificing for your children.  For her, this was a huge burden, but she did it... for me.

And of course, throughout the years there have been uncountable events in which she has sacrificed and showed selflessness for me... as with any mother.  That's what a mother does, right?

But it really hit me later... as in, most recently.  She is pretty awesome.  All along, I've had sort of an attitude of "well, duh, she's my mom, she should do that"... but for how long?  For how long can I claim residence under her umbrella?  For how long can I continue to ask her to be selfless?  After all, although I hate to admit it, I AM an adult... you know, a 28 year old married mother... definitely an adult.  So when's my expiration date here?

When I was administered to the hospital with pre-term labor, she got on a flight to SC the very next day.  She bought a one way ticket and said she'd be there for as long as I needed.  She took over all of my motherly duties for Marco and did everything until after Jonas was born, over a week later.  If you know my mom personally, you know how huge this is.  She's a mother, but she's not very "motherly".  But she did it... she stayed for as long as I needed her... and gladly.  She stepped up big time.

But that one is kinda expected.  I mean, it was the birth of my child... of course she'd be there.  Recently she has outdone herself... and that's really saying something.

Remember back in September when I totalled my car?  We were put in such a difficult situation.  Basically, we have no money to buy a new car.  We're trying to save money right now, and buying a car would have thrown off our entire plan and delayed our mission by months, maybe even a year.  Without even asking, my mom came over the very next day and gave me her car.  She told me to keep it for as long as I needed... and when I told her that may be a year, she said ok.  Excuse me, are you reading this?  How insane is that?  Her and her husband had a spare car, an old one that they hadn't parted with, so she made her husband take that one, she took his and she gave me hers... for as long as I need it.

I have been stunned.  Wow, what a mom!  To give her daughter... a 28 year old married mother, her car.  Unbelievable.  She has been an incredible blessing in my life always, and not just because of the car.  I am so grateful to know that she's got my back and that to her I'm still her little girl.  She's teaching me what kind of a mother I ought to be for my boys... and how to behave for their sakes.

Now check out my sweet ride... courtesy of the best mom ever!

Excuses, Excuses

As a mom, you soon discover that your little angel babies are born disobedient creatures.  I think the whole, "you are born a sinner" doesn't truly set in until you see your own baby actually sinning.  It's stunning... and shocking.  It's innate... it's in each of us.  But, inevitably there comes the day when your baby, probably less than 1 year old, decides to deliberately disobey you.  "Don't touch that", and they go for it anyway.  And you KNOW they know what you told them.

Well, as they age, it only gets worse.  And I've only got a taste of it... I can't even imagine how it'll be when I've got 2 teenage boys on my hands.  Oy.  Right now I have an extremely strong willed 2 year old on my hands.  He knows what he wants and he will manipulate however he can to get his way.  It's amazing to me that they don't need to be taught how to do these things... they just know.

Marco loves to give me excuses for everything I ask him to do... from the simplest to the most complex request, he has an excuse as to why he can not or rather, WILL not do it.  The problem is, in his 2 year old mind, he can only hold 2 excuses and they don't always make sense given the situation.  His go-to excuses are:
"It's too hot" or "It's too hard".  And "hard" as in texture, not difficulty.

Some of our conversations go like this:
"Marco, take off your pull up and go pee pee in the toilet"
"No, Mama, it's too hot".
"Marco, it's not hot in the toilet".

"Marco, eat your sandwich"
"But it's too hot".
"It's peanut butter... it's not hot!"

"Marco, wanna listen to music?"
"No, it's too hard".
"I won't put it loud".
"NO".

"Sit down"
"No, it's too hoooooootttt".
"It's too hot to sit down?"
"Yes"
"No, do it!"

What?!  None of this even makes sense... ok, only the one about music makes sense... but still.  It's shocking that I have to deal with excuses from a 2 year old!  Excuses, excuses.

And it's hard not to laugh, because he still has that whole cute factor going on.  Little stinker gets away with things for being cute!

For the record, that is not a headband... it's one of those sweat bands to complete his "sporty look".  FYI

Patience is a Virtue

Yesterday at MOPS we discussed having patience as a mom.  It definitely hit home with me and was something that I KNOW I have to work on.  Although I love my kids with every fiber of my being, I can sometimes have a short fuse with them or not give them the time they deserve.  I expect things to be done quickly and efficiently, when I know that they are not yet capable of doing that.

The worst time of the day for me (and many mothers, I'm sure) is the morning when trying to get out of the house.  On the days we don't have a set appointment, like we're just going to the mall or the park, there's no problem.  But on the days I have scheduled something for us, like MOPS, a bible study, church, play date, or a doctors appointment, all hell seems to break loose.  It's like Murphy's law... everything goes wrong.

It starts with getting dressed.  Jonas is easy, he has no opinion.  But Marco is quite a challenge.  Even being a boy, he has his opinion on his clothing.  He ONLY wants to wear shirts with beloved characters on it... Cars, Toy Story, Mickey.  Everything else is tantrum worthy.  But I don't have an entire wardrobe filled with these specialty shirts, so eventually he's gotta wear something else.  Then the socks... they have to be on just right and they have to either be Cars or soccer socks... plain ones just will not do.

Then brushing of the teeth... again, Jonas lets me get off easy on this one... for now.  But Marco is all, "Marco do it".  He wants to put the paste on by himself and he wants to brush by himself.  This all takes precious time... tick tock... because I still have to go over what he's done and redo it the right way.

By the time we get to the kitchen for breakfast, I can physically feel my temper rising.  I am about to boil over.  I prepare Jonas' milk and give it to him... but then he throws it all up (well, he did today), so then I have to clean up.  While I'm cleaning him up, I see him grunt and poop... so then I have to clean him up.  When I finally make it back and prepare breakfast, I have to deal with Marco not wanting to feed himself and Jonas shaking his head "no" at the food.  If I make oatmeal, Marco wants a yogurt... if I give him yogurt, he wants a waffle... you see?  It's enough to drive anyone nuts.

As we're entering the car I have officially HAD it and I do boil over.  Many times with yells of "GET IN THE CAR AND CLICK!" or "IF YOU DON'T CLICK IN 3 SECONDS, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE".  (I put caps, because obviously I'm screaming).  And I know I've lost it.  And I know I shouldn't.

For some of you new Mama's maybe it's that 3am feeding that makes you boil over.  I used to want to cry when Jonas wouldn't go back to sleep.  Or if, in my sleepy daze, I'd snap the pj's incorrectly and then have to start all over... I would want to punch a wall.  I know... I know.

I do know that wherever we are on this journey of motherhood, we WILL lose our patience... and we will boil over.  But we must remember to gather ourselves, however we can, and offer GRACE to our children.  After all, doesn't our heavenly Father have an ABUNDANCE of patience for us?  How many times can we make Him want to boil over... but instead of lashing out, He offers us his grace and mercy and love.

Here's what the Bible say's about patience (one of the many things):
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12


I was really convicted by this discussion yesterday because it dawned on me... If we are called to be patient and loving towards everyone, how much more towards our very children!  They are learning from our every move.  They are learning what a Christian household looks like.  They are learning what a mother and wife looks like.  They are learning about who Jesus is from us!  If we are not exemplifying Jesus' characteristics, are they in fact learning about Him?

You do not need to travel to Africa to have a mission field.  God has placed a mission field in your own house... with your own children.  We are the ones that need to show them Jesus daily... through our compassion, our kindness, our humility, our gentleness, our patience and our love.  God's given me HIS children... I need to be sure I care for them well.

I need help practicing my patience.  What works for you?  Do you internally count to 10?  Maybe to 100?  Do you walk away?  Do you pray?  I need tips!  And, more than that, I need prayer.  I'll pray that God gives you patience in dealing with His children and you do the same for me.  Thanks!

Retired

This may very well be my final breastfeeding post. I am officially permanently retired from breastfeeding. And as expected, it is bitter-sweet.

Breastfeeding has become such a major part of my life as I've been doing it for so long now. Saying I'm "retired" makes me feel like I'm losing a little piece of myself. I started when Marco was born and he weaned on his own after 13 months... Then I had a 2 month vacation and started again for Jonas until now, 12 months later. That means I have been lactating for 27 months total. That's a long time... It's no wonder I feel this way!

I know I probably wasn't going to breastfeed for much longer anyway, but it makes me sad that I wasn't able to allow Jonas to decide when he was done, as I did with Marco. I know Jonas doesn't want to be done, because he lays his head on my chest and whines or sometimes spits out his pacifier and lunges at my boobs. Even though it's funny, it also makes me a bit sad. Unfortunately I had to wean due to the medication I'm starting in about 2 weeks. Basically it's poison, and I don't want my baby to drink poison, so there.

I am happy to be regaining my freedom though. Now I can actually be away from my kids for a whole day, or dare I day, a whole weekend! Hello vacation! I can't wait for the day! I mean, it has also been 27 months since we've been a day without them... That's right, we've never spent a day away from our kids! Crazy right? But I'm sure if we ever get the chance, we'll miss them like crazy. We're sort of attached to them... Because we love them a little, ya know?

But now that I'm done, I have a few concerns... First off my boobs... They're just sad looking. 2 full years of feeding children will do that to ya. They are completely deflated and I've lost a ton of muscle mass. Before having kids I was very blessed in the bosom department. I was sporting DD's. Then after having Marco, things got out of control when I bought a size G nursing bra. Yes, G as in Gigantic. But now? None of my bras fit... I'm swimming in them. I'm not sure because I haven't been sized, but I'm pretty sure were looking for at a B or C. The last time I was that size I was 14. I really don't mind the reduction though... It makes me look thinner, less slutty and my clothes fit nicer, but I do mind the way they look. I'm hoping that after a while I'll regain some volume and they'll start looking nicer. Plastic surgery is out of the question for this Mama.

Another concern is whether or not I'll begin to gain weight now that I'm done. Breastfeeding burns calories. Lots and lots of them. Most of my weight loss I attribute to breastfeeding. You're supposed to eat 500 extra calories a day while breastfeeding to compensate for the output. Now that I'm done, do you think I want to give up those extra 500 calories? Umm, no. So now I'm wondering if I can maintain my weight. And for the record, I have gained some weight and I'm extremely pleased with the way I look at the moment.

Tomorrow Jonas turns 1 and he was completely weaned by last weekend. I can not tell you the sense of accomplishment that I have over the fact that I made it to a year with both my children. It was by no means easy. It was a huge sacrifice with many sleepless night, no dates, sore boobs, leakage, wardrobe malfunctions and public indecency. But man, was it worth every stinkin' second. I know in my heart of hearts that I did the very best for my babies. That I put them above my comfort, my desires an even my health. That their well being was more important than my agenda. I am so proud of myself. I did it!!!

As a reward for my amazing accomplishment, I'm going to be buying 3 super awesome and maybe sexy bras... That actually fit properly. I'm so excited. Make room Victoria's Secret... Here I come!!!

Children's TV is a Disgrace!

Back in 2006 when Mau and I got engaged, we cut off our cable in an effort to save money for the wedding... and we never turned it back on.  We got used to watching only a few channels and taking advantage of Netflix and Hulu.  When we had our kids, we talked about possibly turning it back on for the kids' programming, but decided to see if we could survive without it... and guess what?  We did.

Now that we're living with the in-laws, we have access to their Dish and the many, many, MANY channels that come with it.  Honestly, it's rather overwhelming.  But along with that, now we have multiple children's programming channels.  While we used to only watch PBS, now we have Disney Jr, Nick Jr and Cartoon Network to choose from as well.  And you know what I've discovered?  They're all crap.  What a disgrace!  Let's evaluate, shall we? (For the sake of not writing a thesis on the subject, I'll give you an abridged version... just a few programs per network).

Disney Junior

Jake and the Never Land Pirates.  This show, although cute, has NO purpose.  First off, pirates?  Really?  We're gonna idolize PIRATES to PRE-schoolers?  For the LOVE!  Secondly, where are these "pirate kids"' parents?  The only good thing I have to say about this show is that the band disney has hired to do the music is pretty cool.  I dig them.  But, really?  On Monday they had a marathon... holy cow!

Anyone want to clarify for me WHAT THE HECK this is?  Cars that are animals?  I really don't get it.

This is the only show I'll tolerate from Disney Jr.  It's hard to tell your toddler that Mickey Mouse is a disgrace.  He's famous, for cryin' out loud!  And, we went to see him... in person... in June, so Marco's got a "relationship" with him.  But, in MY opinion... that show is pretty bad too.  They "try" to teach... but not very hard.  And it's not consistant.  Which is a real shame.



Nick Jr. 

Did you all read the article about how watching this show has actually proven to decrease test scores in 4 year olds?  If not, check it out here.  If this is not a testament to what a disgrace this show is, then I don't know what is.  I know of some people who truly enjoyed this program... but they were in college... and they were high.  Go figures.  This is not a show for children.  And, Nick Jr. doesn't seem to see a problem in playing it back-to-back-to-back for hours on end. Really?!  This is quite possible the most obnoxious show on television.

Can we talk for a second about these two train wrecks?  And children LOVE them.  Not my children... thank you Jesus!  First off, it's been proven that teaching "Spanglish" as Dora and Diego do is not an effective way of teaching language.  It would be way more beneficial for these shows to be entirely in Spanish... and yes, the kids will watch it and learn.  We don't give kids enough credit, ya know!  They're smart... if we let them be!  And, can this show be more annoying?  I want to throw something at the TV when they start screaming, "say it louder... LOUDER... LOUDER!!!"  OMG... SHUT UP!!!

Have you seen this show?  It's a little odd.  First off, the proportions are all off.  The goldfish are the size of whales.  I just don't get it.  And, the scenery is like outside... only, they're underwater.  Like, there are trees, the sky, airplanes, cars, etc... but they're in the ocean.  WHY?  Why wouldn't they just make them kids... not mermaids?  I'm baffled.




Yo Gabba Gabba is the only show we watch from Nick... and we watch it on Netflix.  I also think it's a waste of time.  It's annoying as hell.  BUT, we kinda dig the music.  It's really modern and up to date, which is hard to find in kids shows.  We limit the amount of Gabba we allow too.  I mean, for cryin' out loud, they have a kid playing the recorder with her nose!  We have to limit it.


How about all the commercials on Nick?  What the heck!?  That's the last thing I want my kid to see.  At least Disney doesn't have commercials... they're definitely one up from Nick.

Now I could go on and talk about Cartoon Network as well, but I wont.  It's not even worth the time it'll take me to find pictures and write it up.  This network is a huge disgrace and I don't think I'll EVER allow my kids to watch it.  Every show makes kids out to be smart asses and parents are idiots.  What a shame... encouraging little defiant monsters.

PBS
I can honestly tell you that this is the ONLY channel that has quality programming for hours on end.  I don't plan on planting my kids in front of the TV for hours on end, but if you're gonna have "one of those days", at least you know there's an option that's not going to fill their heads with garbage.  Don't get me wrong... not all PBS shows are great.  I think Clifford is crap as well as Caillou.  But, eh, it's better than the alternatives.  Let me share with you my faves!

Super Why is awesome.  Do you think I sat with Marco and drilled with him all his letters?  Ok, a little... but he got A LOT of it from this show.  They teach the alphabet, rhyming words, spelling and reading skills.  Hello... who said learning can't be fun AND educational.

A classic.  I remember watching it when I was a kid... and it's still on, still relevant, still cool.  It's not the same Sesame Street we used to watch... no no no... there are NEW seasons, with modern music, new cameos from current actors and singers and things that our 21st century kiddos "get".  This show does such a great job of staying current and relevant.  It's rare to find a show that has lasted so long and stayed so popular... especially for kids.

Word World is a great show.  So clever too. They have some great artists.  Everything in the show has the word built into it.  Like, the dog's body is made with the letters D-O-G.  Not only do they teach reading and letter skills, but they also have themes on friendship, sharing and kindness.  It's also silly and cute.  And the shows are only 15 minutes long, so they aren't too tedious... perfect for toddlers!


So, in order to not make this any longer than it already is... I know, it's already long enough, I'll leave you with this.  Consider what your kids are watching.  In my opinion, it's unrealistic to implement a "no tv" rule unless you and your family abide by it as well.  I mean, if kids are gonna watch TV (and you know they are), then make the most out of it.  Don't waste your time with junk that has no purpose other than being entertaining... they'll have plenty of time for that later.

MOPS in Miami

MOPS is such a great organization and if you're a mom of a child under 5, you should really check it out!  

I joined MOPS 2 months after Marco was born.  We were relatively new to Greenville and Carol invited me to attend this meeting for moms.  At first I wasn't too into it... I mean really, it seemed like a baby shower.  A bunch of women gabbing, eating, and complaining.  But little by little I began to develop relationships and actually LEARN from these women.  They were all moms too... they knew what I was going through and what I was about to go through.  They had tricks and tips that I didn't know and were always willing to lend an ear or a hand.  

I also realized the importance of "my time".  But instead of going and having a coffee and a mani/pedi (not that there's anything wrong with that), I was putting my child in child care to regroup, become rejuvenated and in essence, learn how to be a better mom.  

My MOPS group really demonstrated to me that I was valuable and that they cared when Jonas was born.  Being that he was in the NICU, they offered to stay with Marco so I could go to the hospital and they also brought me meals every night for TWO weeks.  You don't find that kind of support just anywhere.  They became a huge blessing to me and my family.  

I had decided that for my third year at MOPS I was going to join the steering team as the publicity chair.  However, before I even got my hands into the pot, we learned about having to move down to Miami.  I resigned my position and handed over the reigns.  

The first thing I did when I moved to Miami was look for a local MOPS chapter to dive into.  Well, I looked, and to my surprise there weren't many to choose from.  (I spoke about this before already).  There was one active group in Miramar- about an hours drive, and one in Miami.  So I contacted the one in Miami through the website via email.  About a week goes by and I don't hear anything.  So I send another email... another week and nothing.  At this point, I'm thinking that I wont be able to be in a MOPS in Miami.  But, you know me, I'm a persistant one.  So I called the host church and asked to speak to someone, anyone, who knew what MOPS was! Finally, after being transferred around a bit, I came in contact with the head of the Children's Ministry who knew kinda what I was talking about.

We talked for a bit and she said that the church had thought about doing a MOPS, but there wasn't a commitment as to who would be in charge.  And, they had no idea how to even get started.  They didn't know anyone who had been in MOPS before, so they were starting from scratch!  I told her my story and she began to get hopeful.  Maybe with my "experience" and a few willing moms, we can get this thing going!

Today we had our first meeting and there were 5 moms, the coordinator and 5 kids.  We had a nice discussion and got to laugh about all of our parenting challenges... potty training, disciplining, listening, obeying, and the like.  It was really great to meet other women in my city who are experiencing the same things I am... I am not alone!  

I feel like God has had His hands in all of this... of course.  I mean, in a city of 4 million people, I am one of the few who even know what this awesome organization is!  I really hope that this group takes off and becomes something of a light house for moms.

So here's your invitation.  If you're a mom of a pre-schooler, meaning a child not yet in Kindergarden, come and check it out!  You don't have to be a member of the host church- I'm not.  You don't have to be a Baptist- I'm not.  You don't have to be a SAHM- I am, but you don't have to be.  If you're free on Tuesdays from 9:30-11:30, you and your rascals are welcome!  

We're located at the Wayside Baptist Church Fellowship Hall- 7701 SW 98 St, Miami

We meet every other Tuesday from 9:30-11:30.

Child care is provided!!!

Please feel free to FB me or email me... I'd love to answer any of your questions and help you get involved!  

But seriously, if you're in Miami and you can make it... please do!  You wont regret it! 

You can read more about MOPS on their home site at: www.mops.org