A Modest Mama

If you know me in real life, you know that I'm not a very modest person... much to my husband's dismay. If we're in a group of girls, I'll change in front of everyone... why not?  I pee with the door open and I talk on the phone while on the toilet too... yeah, so?  I had NO problem with nursing in public... while I tried to be modest, if a little boob slipped out, oh well.

I grew up in a family that doesn't know the meaning of "modest'.  My mom still gets dressed in front of me and after I had my babies, she even helped me shower.  No shame.  It's my MOM!

But having boys kinda threw me for a loop.  My mom doesn't have any sons, so I couldn't ask her, and my mother-in-law is modest to the max, so I couldn't really ask her either.  Two extreems.

When exactly is the right time to stop dressing (or rather, undressing) in front of your son?

I got the answer... Yesterday.  Yesterday was the right time for me to stop dressing in front of my son.

When Jonas was born, Marco was only 15 months, so when I would whip-it-out to breastfeed, Marco didn't know or care.  As he grew, it was the norm.  He just didn't think about it.  I quit breastfeeding in September, (almost 6 months ago), and so the breast sightings have been less frequent.  You know, just not every 3 hours.

But what I've seen is that now, instead of it being the norm, Marco is starting to notice... he's starting to stare.  A few months ago, I knew we were coming onto this because when I took off my clothes, he looked up with a questioning face and said, "Mama? Wass dat?  That for Jonas milk?" And I told him that it was, but not anymore. A few other times, he's just looked.  And sometimes he passes his hand over my breasts while cuddling... once he even gave it a squeeze!

Well, yesterday he was trying to poop and taking forever and I wanted to shower.  Since we're at our in-law's, the 4 of us share a bathroom.  So I just started taking off my clothes to jump in.  I turned my back to him, so he wouldn't get the whole view, and he smacked my butt and said, "it's your boody", (which is fine, doesn't bother me), but then he wanted to see the pee-pee too.  He said, "Mama, where's your pee-pee?" I just hopped in the shower, hoping to stop any further questioning.

From the shower he continued to ask me, "Mama, you don't have pee-pee?" and I said, "No, I'm a girl".  I mean, really, I never thought I'd have to explain this to my two-year-old.  When he finished his business, he tried to pull open the curtain to have himself a good look... thankfully Mauricio stopped him.  Mauricio took him to another room, but within a few minutes, he had escaped, came running back in the bathroom and tried to look in again!

I know he's just curious.  I know that he doesn't understand and that he sees a difference between me and the rest of our little family.  He sees his dad and brother naked all the time, and he knows that they don't look the same way I do.  And his curiosity doesn't bother me, really.  But I'm not about to give him an anatomy lesson using my own body, either.  That's going overboard.

So what do I do?  (Aside from stopping the daily peep shows, of course.)  Moms of boys, how did you know it was time?

One thing is for sure, from now on I'm keeping my clothes on.  I'm about to become a modest mama.


Danielle-Marie said...

You know, I haven't really thought about this myself. Landon always points out my boobs and my belly button when he sees them but it doesn't bother me so I just don't think about it. I guess what I've decided is once Landon is old enough to REMEMBER what I look like, I'll start being more modest around him. Wouldn't want to scar him for life ;)

Heloisa said...

Hello Nicole!
Please read this and think,
Marco is still quite naive and pure, and that is how you should act in these situations, calmly, with great affection, he explains the human anatomy, what is, and buy a cute little book and also talking about anatomy to small! I'm sure you will find here in Brazil have! i must have more! but never, never show shame, shame to him, let time take care, and Marco, within a family is a healthy adult politely wonderful!
love you guys