Bringing Down the Hammer

I really need help.  If you're a parent of a toddler, please, give me a word of advice or encouragement... anything!

I'm having a hard time reeling Marco in since we moved to Miami.  I don't know if it's the change of environment or living at my in-laws house, but he's becoming majorly defiant and unruly.  He pretty much takes my "no" as a suggestion and usually does whatever he wants instead.  It's hard for me to always be hands on with him because more often than not, my hands are tied up with Jonas.

When I call his attention, "MARCO", he responds with an equally loud and demanding, "MAMA".  This is unacceptable.  He also swats at me, as if threatening to hit me.  Again, unacceptable.  I feel like spanking him for hitting is counter productive and honestly, it doesn't even faze him.  Because of my arthritis, I can't hit him hard enough to make any kind of an impact.  He doesn't care at all.  And speaking as honestly as possible, when he hits me, I want to go nuts on him... I hold myself back, obviously.

Yesterday we had lunch with a friend who also has 2 boys the exact same ages as Marco and Jonas.  Her 2 year old was seated calmly in a booster chair, eating with a fork and drinking from a regular cup.  Marco... not so much.  He threw his plate... twice.  He threw his cup once.  He hit at me.  He peed in his chair (I'm convinced on purpose).  I ended up having to put him in a high chair to restrain him.  He was acting like an animal.  I was so embarrassed and I honestly didn't know how to handle the situation.  I told him nicely to calm down.  I told him harshly.  I grabbed his face.  I pinched him.  I spanked him.  NOTHING WORKED!

My fear is that he's gonna continue to defy me and disregard my authority and I'm gonna have to call Nanny 911!  haha.  No, but seriously... we're going through a really rough patch here.  I'm beginning to feel worn down, dealing with this 24/7.  My dad says we need to be super consistant... and I agree.  I remember from my teaching days, that consistency was key.  But jeez, is it exhausting!  Sometimes I wanna lay on the couch and put up my white flag... I SURRENDER, do whatever you want.  But I know I have to win these daily battles now or else deal with the consequences later.

Teach me how you "bring down the hammer" in your home?  And, if you don't have advice for me... then just pray!  haha... for real.


Beth said...

What's his currency? What is the thing he cannot do without? TV? Coloring? Snacks? Find out what it is and use that as a way to keep him under control. When he is about to or does something unacceptable, say, I'm going to take away_____ if you keep it up. Then do it.

With Bohdan it was being put in his room. With Stas, it's no TV.

Good luck!

Allie @ Table for 3, Actually Make that 4 said...

Consistency is what I am working on too! These little boogers are TOUGH! And it is so hard to handle them in public, you just want to scream! AHHHHH! My oldest is 2 going on 22...I swear! His little attitude gets me fired up! It will pass though, I am sure of it! I just walk away sometimes and take a deep breathe, I think when you let up and skip discipline is where kids become in control of their parents, which I refuse to let happen! haha! I will pray!!:) Pray for me too!! :) Also fill me in on this moby wrap...I might get one for baby #3, I tried a sling with my first and it was a flop but I hear about these wraps all the time...fill me in~:)

Unpolished Parenting said...

Beaner's favorite word is NO! It's no to everything, even when she means yes. Gets very confusing and frustrating.

A couple of tips: The first one I've just started to try and seems to have an overall good result. Instead of saying no, don't or stop when he is doing something he shouldn't be like climbing on the tv stand, ask him to hand you a book or where his favorite toy is. I know its just redirection, but I catch myself saying No or don't do that a lot to her, so I think she's just saying it back to me.

We also have a time out spot. She gets one warning and then will be placed in time out for 1 minute, or until she calms down. Then we go over say why she was put in time out, tell her we love her and give hugs and kisses.

Another thing I'm trying when she gets really whiney, like ball is under the table and she can reach it but acts like she can't, I ask her "Well what should we do about it?" And give her encouragement to take care of it herself and tell her if she needs help, she can ask me for it.

Sorry for such a long comment. I know what you are going through and it is hard to deal with for sure! Big hugs and support!!