Wearing Me Down

Alright guys.  I know you've read post after post about how I must win over my kids.  About how they have to be reared now in order for me to have the upper hand in the future.  About sticking to my game plan.

But guess what?  I'm tired.  Really, really tired.

Nearly every night either Marco or Jonas is waking up and making our lives unbearable.  For Marco, usually it's around 2:30.  He sneaks into my room and wants to come into bed with us.  The game plan was to walk him back to his bed and tuck him in without saying a word.  No "go night-night", no "MARCO!", no anything... just silence.  Kinda like a zombie... a very tired zombie.  But what I didn't anticipate was that this kid would have more endurance than me!  We went through this routine for 2 hours the other night.  From 2:30 to almost 5.  I was done... done.

When he does this for 2-3 days in a row, that's it, I'm completely exhausted.  At that point I don't even care about our stupid "game plan".  Screw the "game plan", I'll do anything for more sleep.  By the third night, I just sent Mauricio to sleep with him so we could all get some rest.  Marco-1, Us-0.  He got his way... he won that battle.

The worst is if he wakes up Jonas in all this mess.  Then we've really lost.  It's incredibly difficult to get TWO babies back to sleep.  So in this case, we divide and conquer deal with it.  I take Jonas and try to get him to sleep in my bed, while Mau goes to bed with Marco.  Again, Kids-1, Us-0.

But sometimes Jonas wakes up on his own, and for no apparent reason.  When this happens, the situation is controllable and bearable because it's just him.  We always rush into his room and scoop him up before he wakes up Marco.  If he wakes Marco, all bets are off.  Usually we can get him back to sleep pretty easily... but in our bed.

So it's a good night when we go 8-10 hours with no one crying, no one sneaking into our bed, and no one waking up in the bed that's not theirs.  But, unfortunately, this only happens 2-3 nights a week.  I'm starting to develop anxiety before bed time because I know it's just a matter of time before someone starts whimpering or climbing out of their beds.  I've got a good 3 hours of sleep before the most annoying wake up call begins to scream.

Truth is, I have no desire to parent from 11pm-8am.  I don't want to do it.  But I have to.  Guys, I'm at a loss here... I don't know how we're going to do it... how we're going to survive this.  It might possibly be worse than having a newborn... because at least a newborn has a reason to be waking up!  But Marco and Jonas have NO good reason, other than brattiness.

Readers:  I need help.  A word of advice.  A word of encouragement.  Many words of prayer.  Please?