Totalled

We were in a pretty serious car accident this morning.  Thankfully the boys and I are ok.  But the car is not... it's totalled.

We were on our way to music class, driving down a major road, when I could hear Marco fidgeting with his car seat clip... the top one.  I yelled, "You better click!" and I glanced in the rearview mirror to be sure he was buckled and when I looked back, we were speeding head first into a tractor.

There was a landscaping truck with a long flat bed that had a trailer hitched to it with a small tractor on it.  This truck was backing up into the main highway from a side street.  Instead of coming onto the main road face forward, he was backing into it.  I can't remember what happened exactly because it was all so fast, but I do know that I did not see it or notice that it was backing up until I was crashing.  I did not have time to break or swerve.  It was a head on collision going about 35 mph.

The kids screamed, the air bags deployed and the car filled with smoke.  I tumbled out of the car, disoriented, but only thinking about the kids.  I opened their doors and noticed that they were ok.  They were scared but they weren't crying or bleeding.  I pulled them out of the car because I was afraid of the smoke and a Good Samaritan woman stopped to help me.  She held Jonas for me and called Mauricio to tell him what had happened.  I was bleeding from a busted lip, but other than that I was feeling ok.  I was really shaken up and nervous, but mostly worried about the children.

The paramedics arrived at the scene, looked over the boys and checked our vitals.  They said the kids looked ok but I should take them to the ER just to be sure.  I opted not to because they were acting normally and had no injuries.  (We've been watching them all day to be sure everything is normal, and it has been).

The cop asked me if I was speeding and I told her that I do not speed... especially with my kids in the car. She didn't believe me and rolled her eyes.  I then had to defend myself and tell her to look around.  There were no skid marks on the street, no brake marks... I did not see the truck until I crashed.  If I had been speeding the kids and I would not be walking away from this accident with no more than a bloody lip.  We'd be taken in the ambulance with serious injury if I had been speeding.  She agreed with me and dropped the subject.

But unfortunately, she didn't issue a ticket to either party.  She said that we were both "at fault"... although I disagree.  I believe that if a truck of that size needs to come out of a street, they can not back out into a main road... they need to make a 3 point turn, even if it's really a 20 point turn.  In the time it took me to look in my rearview mirror and look back, we were in grave danger.

Moms, how many of you do not peek back at your kids to give them a sippy cup or check to be sure they're not picking their nose... or anything?!  We all do it!  And in that second, I put my family, my babies in danger.  It's crazy when I think about all that could have happened!  God is so good... we are safe.

Now that a few hours have passed, I am feeling a bit sore and emotionally tired.  My hand is bruised and my arm is sore.  My face is swollen, I have a black eye and a bruised lip.  I have a seat belt burn on my left shoulder.  Marco also has a small seat belt burn on the right side of his neck.  But that's it.  No other damage.  Amazing.

Marco has been experiencing a bit of post-traumatic stress.  He took a short nap and woke up crying, saying "Mama car... Mama crash".  And for a while after he was just repeating, "Crash" and clapping his hands together.  There's also some dried blood on his car seat (from me) and when he saw it he said, "Mama ay-ay" (ay-ay= boo boo).  He seemed very worried and kept reliving it.  We just kept telling him, "Yes, we crashed and the car went bye-bye, but we're ok and we're safe... Jesus kept us safe".  At prayers he said, "Thanks Jesus for the car and for the crash"... it's been quite eventful.

Here's some pics from the scene:

And then later on when I went to the junk yard to release it to the insurance, I got another look at the damage and was filled again with thankfulness.  

So now... my mom is saving the day and letting me borrow her car until we figure out what our next move is.  We are in no position to purchase a new car, so... we'll just have to see what happens next.  The only thing I know for sure is... Jesus is my protector.  Thanks be to Him!

Seriously?! Thursday

Today I'm linking up From Mrs. to Mama again for Seriously?! Thursday.  Don't you love this day? All week long I say to myself, "Seriously!?" and now I can tell you all why.  Don't forget to link up too... or just check out the other blogs.  

Seriously?! You've seen this scene from Baby Mama, right?

Well, it kinda happened to me the other day.  Only, it wasn't chocolate.  But thankfully, I didn't lick it.  It was on my jeans... already dried.  I scratched and sniffed.  And it was seriously gross.

Seriously?!  I'm hooked to Grey's Anatomy... season 1.  It's on Netflix instant.  All the seasons are, so since I haven't seen any, I decided to start at the beginning.  And now I'm hooked.  But sadly, I have no one to talk about it with because season 1 was like 8 years ago.  So, in short, I don't like Meredith.  I think McDreamy is a tool.  I love George.

Seriously?!  I don't know if I'm a little late to the game, but there's now a Google powered Blogger App... and it's free.  And it's seriously great.  I wrote my "Retired" post on my phone... the whole thing.  It was easy and fast.  You can use the pics from your phone and drop them directly into the post.  Blogging on the go just became easy!

Seriously?!  Jonas turned one yesterday.  What?!  We had some cake and sang him Happy Birthday... it was great.

Seriously?!  We went to the coolest place this morning.  It's called Cool-De-Sac and they have it at Dolphin Mall and Sunset Place.  It's basically got like 7 stations for kids to play at and a full restaurant with good food and waitresses.  It's pretty stinkin' cool, man.  The stations are computers, legos, hair salon, crafts, video games, jungle gym and toddler area.  The staff is also instructed to play with your kids!  And the restaurant?  Seriously good.  Like, real food... not kids junk.  Well, it's kinda expensive.  The admission for kids 3 and under is $6... plus food, you're looking at around $30 for a play-date.  BUT, sometimes they have something called "coffee chat" where a phycologist comes in to offer parenting help and discusses different issues parents with kids under 5 face.  On these days, admission is waved and you got unlimited free coffee.  Hellz yes.  So we went today... the "chat" was super insightful... my kids had a freakin' blast... we ate a great lunch... they're exhausted... it was seriously a wonderful idea!  You know I'm gonna be at more of those "coffee chats"... holla!

Seriously?!  My blog has hit an all time high this month in views! That seriously makes me soooo excited!  I'm slightly addicted to checking my stats.  Anyone else?

That's all I got.  Hope you're having a fabulous week.  Hey, wanna follow me?  Just click the follow button to the left.  All the cool kids are doing it.

My Baby is ONE!

My baby Jonas is one!  One year ago today, at 11:24 am he was pulled out of my opened belly, ticked off and screaming.  It was the best sound I had ever heard!  He weighed 3 pounds 7 oz.  He was quickly rushed to the NICU and there he remained for 28 days.

We fell in love with him quickly, although I'm not so sure how he felt about us.  He punished us for bringing him into the world so early.  Colic was quite possibly one of the most annoying things we've ever battled.  He wouldn't crack a smile for over 15 weeks... it was all work and NO play.

But then, after about 3 months of waiting... just like that, his personality began to develop.

And what a cute and sweet personality it has been!  Jonas, my cuddler, my sweet baby, my sensitive one.  

He loves being held.  He loves pushing his face up to mine to get his kisses.  He becomes emotional when you walk away from him.  He puts his hand in my mouth while he's being cradled.  He thinks Marco is cool and funny.

And now, he's one.  He can say "Mama", "Papai" and "Tete".  He tries to imitate singing, "Ba, ba, ba" and dances to all kinds of music.  He can clap.  He can find his head.  He can give me his paci when I ask for it.  He spits out his water because he knows it'll make Marco laugh. He's playful and sweet and silly. 

Within a month or so, I will no longer have a baby.  He will soon move into the next stage of his life... toddlerhood... and drive me a little crazy.  But he'll always be My Little Baby Jonas to me. 

Retired

This may very well be my final breastfeeding post. I am officially permanently retired from breastfeeding. And as expected, it is bitter-sweet.

Breastfeeding has become such a major part of my life as I've been doing it for so long now. Saying I'm "retired" makes me feel like I'm losing a little piece of myself. I started when Marco was born and he weaned on his own after 13 months... Then I had a 2 month vacation and started again for Jonas until now, 12 months later. That means I have been lactating for 27 months total. That's a long time... It's no wonder I feel this way!

I know I probably wasn't going to breastfeed for much longer anyway, but it makes me sad that I wasn't able to allow Jonas to decide when he was done, as I did with Marco. I know Jonas doesn't want to be done, because he lays his head on my chest and whines or sometimes spits out his pacifier and lunges at my boobs. Even though it's funny, it also makes me a bit sad. Unfortunately I had to wean due to the medication I'm starting in about 2 weeks. Basically it's poison, and I don't want my baby to drink poison, so there.

I am happy to be regaining my freedom though. Now I can actually be away from my kids for a whole day, or dare I day, a whole weekend! Hello vacation! I can't wait for the day! I mean, it has also been 27 months since we've been a day without them... That's right, we've never spent a day away from our kids! Crazy right? But I'm sure if we ever get the chance, we'll miss them like crazy. We're sort of attached to them... Because we love them a little, ya know?

But now that I'm done, I have a few concerns... First off my boobs... They're just sad looking. 2 full years of feeding children will do that to ya. They are completely deflated and I've lost a ton of muscle mass. Before having kids I was very blessed in the bosom department. I was sporting DD's. Then after having Marco, things got out of control when I bought a size G nursing bra. Yes, G as in Gigantic. But now? None of my bras fit... I'm swimming in them. I'm not sure because I haven't been sized, but I'm pretty sure were looking for at a B or C. The last time I was that size I was 14. I really don't mind the reduction though... It makes me look thinner, less slutty and my clothes fit nicer, but I do mind the way they look. I'm hoping that after a while I'll regain some volume and they'll start looking nicer. Plastic surgery is out of the question for this Mama.

Another concern is whether or not I'll begin to gain weight now that I'm done. Breastfeeding burns calories. Lots and lots of them. Most of my weight loss I attribute to breastfeeding. You're supposed to eat 500 extra calories a day while breastfeeding to compensate for the output. Now that I'm done, do you think I want to give up those extra 500 calories? Umm, no. So now I'm wondering if I can maintain my weight. And for the record, I have gained some weight and I'm extremely pleased with the way I look at the moment.

Tomorrow Jonas turns 1 and he was completely weaned by last weekend. I can not tell you the sense of accomplishment that I have over the fact that I made it to a year with both my children. It was by no means easy. It was a huge sacrifice with many sleepless night, no dates, sore boobs, leakage, wardrobe malfunctions and public indecency. But man, was it worth every stinkin' second. I know in my heart of hearts that I did the very best for my babies. That I put them above my comfort, my desires an even my health. That their well being was more important than my agenda. I am so proud of myself. I did it!!!

As a reward for my amazing accomplishment, I'm going to be buying 3 super awesome and maybe sexy bras... That actually fit properly. I'm so excited. Make room Victoria's Secret... Here I come!!!

Potty Training: Not Done Yet

I haven't written about potty training for a while.  You guys probably thought I was done.  You guys probably thought I had mastered the toilet.  You guys probably thought I was a miracle worker.  You guys were wrong.  It's not over... and I wonder if it ever will be.

You see, one of the biggest problems in parenting is consistency.  Parents who don't practice consistency usually have children with poor behavior.  The children don't have a clear concept of what is acceptable and what is not.  And consistency is important in every single aspect of life.

The biggest problem with consistency is that it's absolutely exhausting!

I always start off strong and then gradually let things slide and slide until I have a complete landslide that has engulfed everything.  (Ok, that's a bit dramatic).  But that's how I feel when it comes to this potty training thing.

We started off really strong... after 3 days, Marco pretty much had it.  But then he started having accidents... mostly when we were out.  So I'd take several changes of clothes along with me, but sometimes I'd go through all of them.  He'd pee his pants while in a high chair at a restaurant or while playing at a friend's house.  The worst day was when we went to go visit my friend and her daughter.  He peed his pants in the car on the way there, so we changed clothes.  About half hour later he pooped his pants.  We changed clothes again.  Then I decided to do a load of laundry at her house because I was afraid he'd continue to have accidents.  Thank God I did because he had 3 MORE accidents.  I figure he was just in a new environment and having a lot of fun, so he wasn't thinking about having to go to the bathroom.

So after that day I decided we'd do underwear at home and pull-ups while out of the house.  And honestly I thought this was a good setup because it was hard for me to have to find a public bathroom, get the large stall, put toilet paper on the seat, etc, with Jonas in tow.  If I don't have my stroller with me, I don't know where to put him... he can't stand on his own yet.  So... yeah, it was more convenient for me to not deal with potty training while out of the house.

But of course then I got lazy.  I'd leave the pull-up on him when we got home from wherever we were and would delay putting on his underwear.  And I wouldn't remind him to go to the bathroom.  Obviously he's had a regression.  Now when he's in underwear he has accidents all the time.  I'm discouraged because I feel like we might have to start again... and I blame my own laziness 100%.

So, it's not over.  We're not done yet.  I'm still cleaning up pee off the floor.  I'm still scraping poop off of underwear and hand washing it in the sink.  I've gotta get my act together... consistency is key!