The Cuban Mother's Curse

I'm not sure if this is simply the Cuban mother's curse, or if it knows no racial boundaries.
Forgetting your own child's name.

I grew up as an only child until I was 10 when my father remarried and I gained a brother through marriage, and then my mother remarried a year later and I gained 3 more siblings through marriage.  Before this, I was an only child, hence there should be no reason that my mother would forget MY name, however, the curse was ever prevalent.  Countless times I'd be called the name of my mother's sister followed by an apologetic "Nicole".
 
But as I grew and so did our family, the names kept piling on... Occasionally I would respond to any number of names... "Lorraine", "Monique", "Mariah", "Natalie".  Usually I was the only one home, so I figured she was talking to me.  My favorite was always when I'd get the long combo name followed by a swift Cuban curse, "Lorrainemoniquemariahnatalie-AY COÑO SU MADRE- NICOLE!" As if it was MY fault she couldn't remember the name of her own daughter.

But you know how they say the tables will turn?
They have.

I have two sons... and yet, I can't get there names together.  I spend my life yelling
"JO-Marco!"
or
"MA-Jonas!"

It has gotten so bad that my kids actually make fun of me... only 3 and 4 and they have a good laugh at their mother's expense.  Ay, que me espera! I'm afraid to know what awaits me when these boys are teenagers!

So as soon as I let that little "Jo" slip before calling for Marco, he's already laughing and asking me "What do you want JO-Mama?!"  Can you believe the nerve of that kid!?  What a smarty pants!
And of course Jonas joins in the fun... "MA-Jonas?! Noooo... that's not my name!"

If only I could just get it right... I technically should be able to do this seeing as I named them.  But alas, The Cuban Mother's Curse has inevitably taken hold.

Written on Their Little Hearts

You know, sometimes I really don't give my kids enough credit.  I think, oh, they're too little to do this, or that... we'll wait til their older.

Like with praying.  I had been praying for them and over them since they were in my belly, but WITH them?  No, I thought it was better to wait til they were older... until I realized, WHY Wait?!  We began night time prayers and progressed with meal time prayers, and now, 9 times out of 10, they remind ME to pray with them!

But still, I didn't give them credit.  I still wanted to wait til they were older with Bible verse memorization.  I figured that it was going to be too difficult, and honestly, would they REALLY remember these verses word for word for life?  Probably not... I know I don't!  Try as I might, I have a hard time memorizing scripture and especially references... I'm always like "somewhere in the Bible I know it says"... which is about the most unhelpful thing ever.  Thank God for Google... seriously!

So I figured that my limitations would also be theirs, I mean, they're PREschoolers!  But oh, how I was proven wrong.

One day, coming home from church, Marco (at the time he was 3), began reciting the Bible verse they had learned, and Jonas (at the time he was 2) was following along slowly behind.  I.Was.Amazed.

I began thinking about the whole point of scripture memorization.  Yes, of course, it's so that you can bring it up to help others, to answer questions, to offer encouragement or share the Truth... but that's all outward.  What about the inward reason?  Isn't it important to learn, meditate and memorize these verses to help US daily?  To help us remember that we are children of the one true God.  To help us resist temptation and lies when they come at us.  To have the Truth so so so engraved on our hearts and minds that we don't even have to THINK about it... it's second nature.  To know the Word is Truth as simply and obviously as we know that the sky is blue or that the grass is green.

This is exactly what I want for my children.  And what better time than RIGHT NOW to begin putting those words in their mouths that will be written on their hearts.

So that hopefully, when (not if) struggles come their way, they can lean on the truths that they have been declaring since before they can remember.  So that they can hang on the promises and goodness of God.  So that they know that even if they don't have each other, or me, that they have Him and He is enough.

I bought a white board and hung it in my kitchen.  My plan was to teach and review one Bible verse a month.  I don't drill it or shove.  I teach it by repetition and using hand motions.  We say it sometimes when I'm in the kitchen preparing their food and always at night before bed.  They love it and always ask for more or want to also recite the ones from the past.

Here are some of the scriptures we have already done:
- "I praise you because you made me wonderful" Psalm 139:14
- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind" Matthew 22:37
- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
- "The Lord is good to all" Psalm 145:9
- "God saw all that He had made, and it was very good" Genesis 1:31
- "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever" Psalm 136:1 *This month

As you can see, we haven't been doing it that long at all, but it is something I love and cherish and plan to continue.  We started when the boys were 3 and 2, but I wish we hadn't waited so long.

If this is something that's important to you and your family, let me encourage you not to wait!  Start today!  Give your child some credit... even if she/he's too little.  Try it and you might be surprised, as I was.  They are little sponges and are picking up more than we think.  And even if you have a baby, who will obviously not recite after you... pray these verses over her.  Let her hear you speaking the Truth to her.  We are planting a seeds in our children's hearts and I know that this is just one of the ways He has showed me how to water it.

"I will my law on their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people"- Jeremiah 31:33

Birthdays make me Broke!

Lately I've been thinking about birthdays.  Well, birthday parties, really.

I'm sure for many moms, birthday parties for our children is high on the priority list.  It is for me!

But here's the problem... birthday's don't stop coming!  I feel like we just had Marco's birthday and here come's Jonas' right around the corner!

And birthday parties are expensive!  Living in a city where all of your family lives just multiplies the cost.  Because we can't throw a party and just invite the friends because the family will get their feelings hurt.  But we can't throw a party and just invite the family because then my kids' friends wont be there to celebrate.

For Marco's birthday, which was in the middle of June, we had close to 50 people in attendance!  The total cost for that party was close to $500.  The food alone cost $300 and when you add decorations, favors and cake, there you have it!  $500... for a 3 year old's birthday.

And really, I don't think we went overboard.  The food was simply hotdogs, cheeseburgers, chips, fruit, corn and cupcakes... not too much.  It was a pool party, so we didn't rent a bounce house or an entertainer or a face painter.  We didn't rent tables or chairs, but borrowed them from my dad instead.  So, you know... it was done as cost efficiently as possible.

But still!  We spent $500 just 3 months ago and now it's time to do it all again?!  Don't you think it's a little overkill?  I do.

And part of me feels guilty... well if I did it for one, I should do it for the other... blah blah... parental guilt... blah blah... will I scar them for life?

That's it!  I'm putting my foot down on this whole party money sucking fiasco!

I have decided that for Jonas' 2nd birthday, there will be NO bash. (GASP! FAINT!).  Instead, we will be having a play date at a park on the day before (a Thursday) and I will bring cake pops so that we can sing with his friends.  Then on his actual birthday (a Friday) we will have the immediate family get together at my house... and by immediate family, I mean my parents, my siblings, Mauricio's parents, Mauricio's sister and that's IT!  I'll prepare dinner for us and have a cake to celebrate.

The end.

This plan should cost me about $100.  That's a lot more reasonable than $500.

But I can't always do that to Jonas.  It's not fair that I give Marco a huge all-out bash and then give Jonas a lame ol' play date.  So here's what I'm thinking of doing in the future:

Since their birthday's are 3 months apart, I will have ONE birthday bash at the midpoint, 1.5 months after Marco's and 1.5 months before Jonas'.  We will have an all out, hold nothing back, over the top, party of all parties DUAL birthday party.  And it'll be awesome.

Then on each of their actual birthday's, we'll have the small family gathering with dinner and cake at our house to celebrate them individually.

Honestly, it's just too hard doing two big birthday parties.  It's hard on ME, having to plan everything... it's hard on our guests, having to buy gifts again and having ANOTHER party... it's hard on my husband, having to do all that set up and tear down... and it's hard on our wallet!  This will allow us the opportunity to go nuts for our kids ONCE a year and really celebrate the both of them together.  And the good thing is that since they're only a year apart, hopefully they'll have a lot of the same friends and be interested in the same things.

I'm excited for this!  I wish I had thought of it this year instead!

What do YOU do for your kids' birthday?  Do you do a combined party or give each one their own?  How do you make it work for your family?  I'd love to know!  We're still figuring this whole thing out ourselves!

Homeschooling: Week One

Initially I hadn't intended on starting homeschooling until we had officially moved into our new house.  I felt bad creating an even bigger mess at my in-laws than I already have... But, when I looked at my schedule for this week, I had FOUR whole days with not a single thing planned... no doctor's appointment, no Bible study, no play date, no nothing.

So I said, "eh, why not?".  I was ready.  I had pre-planned like a boss and everything was waiting in a ziplock bag to be learned.

We started on Monday:

Monday we did 3 activities.  Two activities with both of them and one with only Marco.

The boys painted:

Then they did a sock toss and I created a track for them to play with their cars on.  The track was not from the curriculum... just an idea I got from THIS BLOG.

Then Marco and I did shape/color matching:

And what did I learn from the first day?
That they shouldn't be cooped up in the house.  This can't be our only activity for the day.  By the afternoon they were BEGGING to go outside... so we went for a walk in the hot Miami weather.
And, that if I was well prepared, everything went pretty smoothly.
AND, that a 3 year old (or mine at least) can't sit still for 3 minutes.  He concentrates well and completes tasks perfectly, but his energy is forever flowing!

We continued on Tuesday:
Tuesday we also did 3 activities:  1 with both boys and 2 with just Marco.

We measured each other and talked about words like "tall" "taller" "tallest", "short" "shorter" "shortest".  Marco did really well.  Jonas walked away.

Then we talked about fractions with slicing an apple... and we devoured said apple with peanut butter and nutella... can you say "AMAZING?"... because it was!

And lastly, we painted an apple tree.  And if that isn't the most beautiful apple tree you've ever seen then you definitely need help!

On Wednesday we took the day off and headed to a park for some down time.
Thursday we had MOPS, so our entire morning was spent.

So we finished off our week on Friday with 3 more activities, but those smiling faces as pictured above, were gone.

Marco started off the day saying, "Noooo, I don't WANNA do schoooool"... that's a good sign.  But we did it anyway!
Why?
Because he's 3 and he doesn't make the rules.  Booya.

We played Hide The A... like hide and seek but with the letter A.  He only wanted to play 3 rounds, but I didn't push it because it was "supposed to be fun".

Then we laced an apple.  This activity was like pulling teeth with Marco.  He didn't want to do it.  He didn't want to complete it.  I told him he had to finish.  I bribed him with candy.  Jonas on the other hand, sat with me and completed it!  He was so proud of himself too!

see the face? He's really enjoying this!

Lastly, Marco and I used a glue stick to glue small pieces of paper onto a coloring sheet.  He's never used a glue stick before, so it was interesting.  The hardest part for me was to allow him to do it by himself and for him to use his "creative liberty" to do it the way he wanted.  The adult in me still wants it to look pretty and organized... I gotta learn to let go.

So that's it... week 1 complete.  9 activities down... 9 more to go next week.
Stay tuned... we've got lots more to do!

Curriculum can be found and purchased HERE.

A Privilege and a Sacrifice

Not long ago I was at a restaurant with my family.  We were in the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated, and the boys were jumping all over Mauricio, excited to be with their daddy after a long day of work. I sat on a bench, watching them, finally relieved to have no one touching me for a few minutes and have the attention elsewhere.  I could breathe a minute... decompress.

An older lady sitting next to me struck up a conversation with me.
She said:  Is that your son?  (pointing at Marco)
I said: Yes... and that one too... (pointing to Jonas)
She said:  Oh wow... TWO little ones? You must have your hands so full...

-Pause-
Can I just rant for a minute?  This is the MOST annoying, MOST cliche thing you can say to a mother. First of all, DUH.  Of course I have my hands full.  Every mom has her hands full.  Motherhood is hard.  BUT, more importantly, my hands are full, but I LIKE it that way.  My children are not a burden to me.  They're most definitely hard work, time consuming and patience testing, but I love them more than my whole life, so yes, my hands are wonderfully full... and my heart?  Over-flowingly full.

I nodded.
She said: So, who takes care of them?
I gave her a questioning confused look
I said: I do?
She said:  Well yes, I know... but during the day?
Another questioning confused look
I said: I do?
She said:  Yes, yes, but while you're at work... who takes care of them?
I said:  Oh!  I'm a stay-at-home-mom... I don't work.

And here it is guys... the point of the whole story...
She opens her arms, really dramatic-like and says in a sing-songy voice...
"Oooooo, what a PRIVILEGED LAAAADY!"

I
Was
Stunned

I didn't know what to say, so I meekly said:
"Yes, we are blessed.  My husband is a great provider and we're able to make it work".

But that was the wrong answer.
Don't you sometimes wish you had a rewind button?  Ugh.  I could have put her in her place sooooo good, if only I hadn't been like a deer in headlights!

Here's what I really think on the subject...

Am I privileged?  Hell yes.  I am so grateful that I get to spend every day with my kids... that I get to be their teacher, their playmate, their referee, their boo-boo kisser, their nap time snuggler.  It would break my stinkin' heart if I couldn't do those things for them.

But...
Am I a "Privileged Lady"?  Hell NO!  I ain't rich.  We don't have nannies or butlers or chefs or drivers. We had to live with my in-laws for a whole year to save money to buy a house.  Mauricio's car is from 1997.  My car is a hand-me-down from my mom because I totalled my old car, which by the way was my high school graduation gift.  We buy things off of Craigslist all the time.  We clothes shop at Target.  We haven't taken a vacation since our honeymoon.  We don't have texting.  We don't have cable.  We have to strictly budget and save in order to buy the things we want.

We are not rich...
We are not "Privileged"... in the way she was saying it.

We make an enormous amount of sacrifices for me to be able to stay home with the kids.  It's not something we take lightly.  We could be much better off.  We could both have 401K's.  But we don't.  Because THIS is the time for us to sacrifice.

We feel that it is more important for me to be home with our kids... so that we can decide how to raise them, how to discipline them, what kind of things they should be learning, or exposed to.  We make all the choices.  We are in a completely controlled environment.  For us, that's more important than new cars, yearly vacations, Nordstrom clothes.

So yes, it is a privilege... but it's also a sacrifice.
Dont' get confused.

Potty Training: Year One Complete!

I just realized yesterday, we've already been into this potty training thing for a year now! We started potty training Marco on August 9 of last year!

But potty training, for a little one, especially a boy, takes lots of time.  There will be accidents for years to come.  There will be days where he gets more pee on his pants than in the toilet.  There will be days when he'd rather pee his pants then interrupting a good game outside.  I know that.

But in a whole year, we've accomplished a lot!

He still wears Pull Ups to go to sleep at night, but he's in undies all day, including for his nap!

Occasionally he still has a nap time accident, but he usually wakes up and tells me immediately.

He never has poop accidents anymore... praise God, that's the most disgusting thing ever.

So, I guess he's not considered "fully potty trained" because he still sleeps with a Pull Up, but we're ok with that.  There's no rush for me.  Honestly, I'd rather wait for him to be ready than push the subject and have 3am wake up calls that include me having to change bedding.

I'm proud of him... and he's proud too!

my big, handsome boy!

Now, Jonas is next.  He's beginning to show signs that he's getting ready.  He tells me as soon as he poops and wants to be changed immediately.  He also tells me when he pees, although he calls it ca-ca too.

I'm not really mentally prepared to tackle this all over again, so I'll be holding off until December, I think.

More than HIM being ready, I need to get ready!

To read more about my potty training adventures:
Potty Training Prep
Potty Training Day 1
Potty Training Days 2-3
Potty Training Not Done Yet
Potty Training We Got It

Raising Boys (Points 16-20)

Today I share with you the final 5 points from the article about raising boys.  It's been so fun sharing with you MY take on these 20 points... from what little I know in the 3 years of being a boys' mom.

Thanks for all of your sweet comments throughout... it's been really fun!

In case you missed it, my first 3 posts can be found here and here and here.

16.  You Will Struggle With Gender Roles
Ummm, not so much.  We go to all-girls-houses and they will gladly play with pink dolls and kitchen sets... and it doesn't bother me one bit.  In fact, one of Marco's favorite games is to pretend he's cooking... and I love it!  Real men cook, amen?  That's about all I'm gonna say on this subject for now...

17.  You Will Revise Your Wedding Fantasies- and Be Fine With It.
Yes!  This was a bit of a heart breaker for me when we realized that Jonas would be a boy and then when we learned that he would be our last.  More than a wedding fantasy was the dream of having my little girl be my best friend.  I stil get teary eyed to think about it.  But I know that it's ok... it's God's design for our family to be this way.  I'm just praying hard for God to deliver us two amazing beautiful and loving brides for my boys... and that they can be the daughters I never had.

18.  Boys Sometimes Need to Hug It Out.
Marco is a tough guy... but he still needs his Mama to kiss his ay-ay's and hug him when he's overly tired or cranky.  Jonas loves snuggles and hugs and kisses all the time!  Marco always wants to be with his Daddy, but when he's sick, it's me he wants... YES!  The other day he was fevered and sick and I told him to go lay with Daddy and he said, "Noooo, I want Yoooouuuu"... oh yeah... mom wins!

19.  You Will Throw Away Tons of Clothes
So far we've been lucky enough to not have to throw away TONS of clothes, just the few jeans with holes or shoes that are worn through the soles.  But a lot of shirts we've been able to pass down to Jonas and even donate them after that... sure, they're a little worn and faded, but still totally wearable.  We figure that if Jonas is just going to damage them further, why bother getting all new clothes?  Especially when they're mostly used for parks and play dates... no need for the fashion show.  But I know that as they get older, the less we'll be able to pass down.  That's ok, because as previously discussed, boys clothes are cheap! ha!

20. Boys Love Their Moms
It's true... they sure do.  While they're all about Dad too, there is nothing like Mom.  I pray that as they get older I'm able to nurture our relationships so that they know that no matter how old they are, they can still come back to rest in my arms.

They are my boys... dirty, stinky, sweaty, scraped up, snot-nosed boys... and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Raising Boys (Points 11-15)

Today I will continue my analysis of this article I found via Pinterest.  It describes 20 things you never knew about raising a boy... and seeing that I'm raising 2, I thought I'd compare it to my real life experiences.
I discussed the 5 first points here.
And points 6-10 here.

11. You'll Learn Not to Compare Your Son to Girls
I was at a friend's house.  She has a little girl about 5 months older than Marco... and she's sweet, kind and smart.  My friend had the idea to do a craft with the kids.  So she sat her daughter and my son down, gave them the craft supplies and instructed them on how to do it.  As her daughter worked, she was able to sit calmly and work thoroughly... my son however, was up and out of his chair 5 seconds after starting.  He knocked over the supplies, threw them on the floor, licked them, ran around a bit and was satisfied with letting her finish it for him.  My friend (who was then pregnant with a boy), looked up at me with horror in her eyes... "Is this how boys are?".  To which I gave a solemn nod, "yes".  It's true that if you compare your sons to your friends daughters, you will want to cry.  Just don't do it.  They're wired differently, so you can't compare.  It's like apples and oranges dinosaurs.

12.  Star Wars Takes Over Earlier Than You Expect
Ok, so for us it's not necessarily "Star Wars".  I'm not a fan and while Mauricio likes it, he's not die hard about it like most men.  Our children have not seen or been exposed to much Star Wars yet, although Marco does have a shirt that he loves because it's his "space ship shirt".  He is, however, a space lover.  He loves to read books about boy astronauts or look at rockets.  He thinks all of that is coooool.  In fact, we were thinking about decorating their new room in a rocket theme, until we had to change the color.  But "Star Wars"?  Not yet.  Remember in my last post I said he thought a light sabre was a fishing pole... we're just not there yet.

13.  You'll Probably Make a Trip to the Emergency Room
So far we've dodged the bullet on this one.  Actually, we've only been to the ER once (click here for all the gory details)  for Jonas, and he was only 8 months old at the time, AND it was Mauricio's fault.  Luckily, with all the jumping, running, hitting and falling that my boys do on a minute-by-minute basis, we've never had to go to the ER.  But even just writing this makes me a bit nervous... you know that we're overdue.  It's like it's coming, it's right around the corner, but we just don't know when.  I have a friend (who blogs here) and has 2 crazy boys.  I think they know her by name at the ER.  For a mother, it can be nerve wrecking, but it sure does make life interesting!

14.  Sports Obsession Can Be Hardwired
Yup.  I even see it with Jonas, he's always yelling "BAAAALLLL".  Marco has always loved playing sports.  Right before he was 2, he would chant "Ba-Ket-Ball", so for his 2nd birthday, we did a BasketBall themed birthday.  During the Heat games, Marco and Mauricio chant "Let's Go Heat!" at the top of their lungs and Jonas joins in with his version, "BA-BA-BOO".  He insists on wearing his "Basketball clothes" for his naps every.single.day, which consists of a tank top and soft shorts.  It's another one of those things that's just ingrained in their very souls.  And, they want to be just like Daddy... so Basketball and Soccer are the favorites.

15.  Pee Will Be Everywhere.  Everywhere.
Don't worry... pee is not everywhere.  But it's enough places that it just doesn't phase us anymore.  Any time Jonas is naked, he runs into a corner and pees somewhere.  Mauricio says he's like a little puppy.  Marco loves peeing outside and anytime we go to the pool, I think he spends more time peeing outside the pool than actually playing in it!  So yes, boys love their penises (or is it peni?) and love peeing everywhere.  Fun times... especially the clean up!

Can you relate?  Tell me how!

Homeschooling

Early in January, I had decided that it was time for me to find a school for Marco to go to in the Fall. He would be going into PK3 and I was ready to release him a bit.

I decided to enroll him in a local Christian school that had a 3 day half day program. So he'd be going Monday-Wednesday-Friday from 8-12. I only wanted him to go 3 days because I didn't want to separate him from Jonas so abruptly. They're best friends and they're pretty attached to each other.

One day I was talking to two ladies that homeschool their kids and the subject came up. When I told them that I didn't think I had the patience to do it, they said that they didn't either but that God equipped them for it. Then one of them said that when you make a decision to homeschool, you don't have to decide then and there to do it all the way through high school graduation... You can choose to go year by year. I really liked that. So often we feel like we have to make all of the decisions for our kids RIGHT NOW... But we don't. We can "play it by ear".

But even after our conversation, I said hellz no... I want my freedom. I want to go to the grocery store or the doctor with only one child.

And then during the Bible Study of Jonah that I was taking this summer, Priscilla Shirer said something to me during her DVD lesson. It was like she may as well had said, "Nicole, are you listening?". She said, "maybe God is calling you to homeschool when you just thought you were about to have some freedom for the first time". I looked around the room and put my head down "no God, not me...".

Then we bought our house, and we went from saving every penny to spending every penny overnight. A few days after the close, Mauricio turned to me and said, "I think you need to withdrawal Marco from the preschool you enrolled him into... It's just an unnecessary expense that we don't need to take on right now." to which I responded, "well, he's already 3, so I want him to do something..." and them he said what I had been running from all along, "why don't you homeschool him". Hmmm? Come again?

But in my experience, running from God and going against your husband does not yield the best results, so I submitted to both of them. I called the school the very next day and explained our circumstance and withdrew him from the program.

I also spent most of the afternoon researching PK3 curriculum. It's very limited and sometimes expensive. I also know that if I tried to make up my own curriculum, I'd get frustrated because there's a lot of prep time and not a lot of do time. And truthfully, I'm just not that creative Finally, I found the one!

What I love about it is that it's very versatile and fool proof. There are step by step instructions for materials, preparation and instruction. There are 6 subjects per day; English, Literature, Pre-Math, Motor Skills, Science and Art. And sometimes one or two are switched out for Social Studies or Music.

The curriculum has been laid out to be covered over the course of 26 weeks, one week for every letter of the alphabet. 5 days a week with 6 lessons per day! That's a whopping 780 complete lessons!

So because it's so extensive and because I plan to include Jonas in a lot of the lessons, I'll be cutting it in half and doing 3 lessons per day. At this rate it'll take me 2 weeks to complete each letter. And an entire year (52 weeks) to complete the whole curriculum!

Will I be permanently homeschooling the boys? Will Marco go to PK4 next fall? Honestly, I don't know. I don't have the answer to any of these questions. For now, I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

And I'm gonna do it. I'm really going to try and stick with the plan and get these boys learning together.

I'm encouraged. And excited. Now I've got to do a little preplanning and we'll be ready to get started as soon as we move into our new home!

Stay tuned for updates!

Raising Boys (Points 6-10)

This is the 2nd part of a 4 part series where I compare this article to my real life experience with raising boys.  Mind you, I'm only 3 years into this journey, so I know there's still a lot to learn and a lot more to experience.  I can't wait.
Please share with me your take on these points!  Do you find them to be true?  Do you think that girls are way different, or are the pretty much alike?  I'd love to hear from you!
Here's the first 5 points, in case you missed it...

6. You'll Learn to Love Legos
Actually, this one is not true for me yet.  Maybe it will be one day... if I learn how to contain them.  But as of right now, we have one set of big (generic brand) legos that are mostly all either lost behind the couch or hiding out wherever all the lost socks are.  If I could trust that my boys wont just dump the bucket of legos on the floor, kick at them for 3 minutes and then walk away, maybe I'd allow it.  But I can't!  Because that's exactly what they do.  They'll play with it for about 2 minutes... assemble a few... pretend it's a horn or a space ship... then SMASH IT and kick it under the couch.  Legos and I do not have a loving relationship.

7.  Roughhousing is Innate
I can see how this is true for Marco.  He loves to get playfully shoved in the face, or held down for tickles.  He also wants to do that to us.  The problem lies when BOTH boys do not particularly enjoy roughhousing.  Jonas likes it, but he has his limits... and Marco doesn't understand where that line is.  Jonas is also very moody, so sometimes he'll be rolling on the ground with Marco and then sometimes if Marco just lays a hand on him, he'll begin to wail.  You just never know.  The main problem is that Jonas never comes out the victor in their roughhousing games.  Jonas is always overthrown or pinne down by big brother.  Hopefully once Jonas gets a little bigger, stronger and heavier, he'll be a better contender for Marco and it'll level the playing field.

8.  You'll Want to Mold Him into a Steller Boyfriend
Mauricio works on this with Marco more than I do.  He's always telling him to "go help your mom" or "don't say that to your mom" or "be nice".  I appreciate that, because I know that if they learn to be kind to ME, that it'll bleed over to all women.  We don't have very many girl friends for Marco to play with.  We have a few and to those, I try to teach him to let them go first, to be gentle with them and to be kind.  So far we haven't had any issues!  This will be a long lesson, I'm sure.

9.  The Goofiness Starts Early
In the article, it talks about "potty humor" as the "goofiness".  Thankfully we haven't started that yet, although with boys, it is inevitable.  They are goofy still, but in a more innocent way.  For them, the funniest thing they can do to each other is... spit.  But not spit in a gross way... like they're not hocking a loogie at each other... yet.  They blog raspberries in each other's faces and crack up... or they spit out bath water at each other.  Jonas just thinks this is hilarious.  Like, fall-over-laughing funny.  They're goofy and it's fun to watch!

10. Even Sweet-as-Pie Boys Love Guns
This is something that has fascinated me.  We don't have any toy guns and we don't watch any violent tv, but one time, Marco picked up a wrapping paper roll and pointed it at me and went "pshew pshew".  Huh?  How did he know?!  When I asked him what he was doing, he told me that he was Spiderman shooting his webs at me.  Ok, so he still doesn't "know" what guns are, but he does know how to exhibit violent manly behavior.  Once we were at a friends house and her son was playing with Star Wars light sabers... he was aiming it at Marco, poised to fight, and Marco looked at me and said, "look Mom, we're going fishing"!  He thought it was a fishing pole!  Regardless, whether it's actually guns, or swords or just Spiderman webs, they know, like it's built into their souls, how to be a fighter.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but absolutely something we have to teach them... "With great power comes great responsibility" and they have to "Use their powers for good and not evil".  We've got to build up the good guys to fight off the bad guys!

Raising Boys (Points 1-5)

I found this article via Pinterest and loved it so much.  Granted, I've only been a mother of boys for 3 years now, but I see truth in these words.  So I wanted to share with you, point by point, how these points have affected my life and my parenting style.  How it's changed me and challenged me.  How it's frustrated me, made me laugh and made me cry.  And if you're a mom of boys, I know you'll relate and have your own tales to tell... so please do!

There are 20 points in all, so I'll split this into 4 posts with 5 points in each.

1. There will be Trains, Planes and Automobiles
If you've ever been to my house or even inside my car, you know how true this is.  Boys and their cars.  It's like it's imbedded in their souls.  While I let them play with anything they desire, from toilet paper rolls to dolls, but there is nothing like the obsession with cars.  So watch your step, because they're everywhere!

2.  Boys Don't Stop Moving
Holy cow, is this ever true.  People sometimes look at my life with two young boys and they don't know how I keep up... actually, I don't even know how I keep up.  They are moving from the minute they wake up to the minute they go to sleep, and sometimes they're rolling around in their sleep to.  It's like boys are just overflowing with energy... they can't contain it... they can't hold it in.  This is exactly why I'm pretty much sure of the fact that they're gonna get in a sufficient amount of trouble in school.  I can not envision them sitting still and quietly working for a half hour at a time.    It's not ADD... it's just being a boy.

3.  Clothes Shopping is Easy-- and Cheap!
All us moms of boys complain about how not cute boys' clothes are.  You've got your basic "food groups" of boy clothes.  We've got the transportation group... cars, trains, planes, rockets, tractors.  We've got the animal group... puppies, dinos, bears, tigers, lions, giraffs, sharks.  We've got the sports group... football, basketball, soccer, baseball.  The shorts are usually plaid that works with all of the above shirts, or plain jeans.  Then we have the occasional polo shirt for church.  We also have 2 pairs of shoes... a nicer one and a sneaker.  The end.  When I go to Target I droooool over all the girly outfits... some of them I wish they had in adult size because I would so wear that!  But at the end of it all, boy clothes are no frills, easy peasy, grab it and go clothes.  Thankfully that's one thing I don't have to stress over.  And no matter what they wear, they're still the cutest kids around!

4.  You Will LOVE Watching Him Play with His Dad
Hello.  Is there anything more sexy than watching your husband being a good father?  I think not.  I love to stand back and let Mauricio play with his boys.  First of all, it gives me a much needed break (can I get an "AMEN") and secondly, they get to do things with dad that I can't do.  I can't pick Marco up by his legs and swing him around the room and land him safely on the couch... but dad can.  I can't hold his whole body down with one hand while using the other hand to tickle him silly... but dad can.  I can't run the length of the yard with Marco on my shoulders and Jonas in my arms... but dad can!  I'm so grateful to have a man that can fill so many of the needs of my children.  And he looks hot doing it!

5.  The Penis Comparisons Start Early
Yes, we have had some penis talk... and you'll remember my moment when I realized I would have to become a more Modest Mama.  The curiosity stemmed from me... he needed to know where MY pee-pee was.  But aside from that, I haven't heard them comparing sizes... yet.  When they're taking a bath together, we have to remind Marco that that's a "private part" and that he can not touch Jonas there.  He also laughs and announces when he has a "BONER!" which I'm praying doesn't happen in an inopportune place such as church or school.  I don't think moms of girls have to endure this embarrassment.  And I didn't think it was appropriate to add a picture to this point... ha!


So what do you think, moms of boys?  Isn't this article right on the money?! Tell me what has been your experiences with points 1-5!  I'd love to know!

Dentist Disaster!

Yesterday I took the boys for their bi-annual dentist appointment.  I've been taking each of them since they were 1 year old.  Some people (my family) think I'm silly for taking them at this age... "well, you didn't go till you were 8" (gross).  But I take them for 2 very important reasons:
1.  I want it to be normal... and thus not scary.  It's a part of life.  Of healthy hygiene.  And they HAVE to do it... like it or not!
and
2.  The insurance covers it 100%.  We don't even have to pay a copay when we go.  So why wouldn't I take advantage of something that is FREE... or something we're already paying for anyway, whether we go or not.

So we went yesterday.  It was Marco's 4th time and Jonas' 2nd.  But it was a disaster.  It is not yet "normal" for them.

You would think that they were in the back with Iranian torturers as their dentist!  The blood curdling screams were resonating down the hallway.

And all they did was brush their teeth.  With a tooth brush... not an ice pick!

For Marco, they brushed his teeth with the polish, then flossed and last put on floride.
For Jonas they only brushed with polish.

But the screams!  The tears!  The shakes!  The sobs!  It was frightful!

When we finally got in the car, they were both so physically exhausted and drained from their fighting that they were silent and mushy.

This isn't going to change anything... they're still going.

I'm just happy we have a whole 6 months before then!

2 Boys in a Movie Theatre

Did you know that Regal Theaters did $1 movies every Tuesday and Wednesday throughout the summer?  Pretty awesome, right?! (here's a link to check out their schedule)

I've known about that for a few years now and I've always wanted to go, but never have.  My first summer as a mom, Marco was a newborn.  My second summer as a mom, Marco was a non-stop 1 year old... too young and too crazy.  My third summer as a mom, Marco was ok, but Jonas was still too young and me alone with two babies... thanks but NO thanks.  My fourth summer as a mom... this summer... this was going to be MY year... I was going to give it a shot!

And I did.
Yesterday.

My mother-in-law and I decided that we could make this work... two adults, two kids... man to man defense.  We could do this.  So we went this morning and were shocked to find that this wasn't a "best kept secret"... the theatre was packed.  The line went down all the rows, down the steps and into the mall area!  We waited anyway... I mean, it's only $1, right?!

Marco is really into movies and can easily sit through an entire one... if it's the right one.  Jonas' attention varies... he can watch about 30 minutes of the right movie, but if there are snacks, he can go for longer.

Unfortunately, we didn't see the right movie.

This is the movie we saw:

It was not funny, not captivating and not colorful.  It was beautiful... for adults.  But it just didn't hold my children's attention.  In fact, the first half hour was so dark and scary that it turned them off from the start.  The topic is very serious as well.  Not a good choice for our first ever movie experience.

Within 15 minutes, Jonas started wiggle worming and yelling out "MAMA!" in a packed movie theatre.  So I decided to step outside with him in an attempt to buy a snack.  They had given me a coupon for a $2 popcorn, but once I got down the register, I realized I had left it in my purse... at my seat.  So we went back up.  Once there, I find Marco standing and sitting and standing and sitting.  Then when my mother-in-law got up to go get the popcorn (2nd attempt), both kids jumped up to go with her.  Only 45 minutes into it and we were done.  

So we left.  But hey, 45 minutes for $3 is STILL a good deal!

We took advantage of being at the mall and went to the free kids play area for about an hour to allow them to release their pent up energy.  Whew.

My BIG summer movie going plans were short lived.  Maybe next year will be my year.  Maybe next year both my boys will be ready to sit still and pay attention.  And maybe next year, I'll choose our movie a little more wisely.  

We will be venturing to the movies one more time this summer to watch Rio... but this time, without Jonas. 

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!

I have been planning Mauricio's Fathers Day for some time now.  You see, since Father's Day always lands on Marco's birthday weekend, Mauricio always gets the short end of the stick.  But NOT this year.  This year, I had done a little pre-planning and was able to ensure that his Father's Day projects were completed and "out of the way" before I began planning Marco's big day.  I want them both to have the best days ever.

So, I decided to make Mauricio a special book called "Love Letters for Papai".  On each page is a picture of him with the boys and a letter... A,B,C, etc.  I think the finished result came out beautiful.  I used Shutterfly and it was so easy to put together and really inexpensive too.  The quality of the book is top notch!  Here's the finished result.

Then we also created customized cards, so the boys could each show dad just how much they love him!

 One card of each of their hands

Marco's hands when opened say, "I Love You"...

and then Jonas' when opened says, "This Much".  
(thank you Pinterest)


And lastly, I interviewed Marco, asking him questions about his Daddy.  His answers were... interesting.  This was the 10th take, more or less, so I was getting a bit frustrated with it.  That's what happens when you've got a (almost) 3 year old with a short attention span.  Enjoy!

Mauricio loved all of his Father's day presents... he was thouroughly surprised and touched.  It made my day just to see how happy he was with it all!  He said that I'll have a hard time topping this one! I'm sure I'll think of something...

I hope all of you had a stellar Father's Day as well! 

The First. The Last.

There's nothing quite like your first.

You are stunned by the world he is discovering each day.  You nudge them, just a little, towards bigger and better things.  You delight in all his "big boy" activities and beam with pride when he shows kindness, maturity and intelligence.  You can't wait to see what's next.

There's nothing quite like your last.

You are excited for the world before him, but still trying to grasp at the past.  Since you know he's your last, you want to savor each moment and not rush.  You delight in his baby ways, giggle at his baby talk and beam with pride when he finds his nose, says ay-you (thank you) and falls on his bottom.  You're holding on as long as you can.

Lucky for me, I have my first and my last.  I'm content.  I'm complete.

Battle of the Blocks

Here's a tale of 2 boys with not enough blocks to go around...

Marco: "I'm gonna build a big tower!"

Jonas: "hmm, that sounds like a swell idea... I'll build mine over here".

 Jonas: "oh, I ran out... let me go get more..."

 Jonas: "Gotta be fast!"

Marco: "Hey, hey, hey!"

 Marco: "Where do you thing you're going?"

Jonas: "Busted..."

 Marco: "I'll be taking these back now..."

 Jonas: "Nooo... MAMA!!!!"

When Will We Learn?!

So back in November, Mauricio and I bought a pair of iPhone 4s's.  They were beautiful... pristine.  I even wrote a post about how excited I was to have this new gadget.

We, like most parents, have found that when your child is on the verge of a melt down, handing them the iPhone will usually curve it.  All of a sudden they have something new, shiny and entertaining in their hands and all is right in the world.  This works especially well in restaurants, doctors offices or anywhere else they're expected to be still and quiet for an extended period.

We knew it was risky letting them have the phone... but was it a risk worth taking?  Probably not.

Earlier last month we went to Disney World.  As we were checking into the hotel, the boys began squirming in their stroller and trying to get out.  They were being very loud and rude while we were trying to make our arrangements.  So Mauricio relied on Old Faithful, and handed Marco the phone.  My in-laws arrived at the hotel and Marco was released from the confines of the stroller... still with phone in hand.  While we were all busy making our preparations, no one had noticed that Marco had placed the phone down on the counter and walked away.  Within 5 minutes, the phone had vanished!  We talked to every security person, made a claim, watched security cameras and tried to track it, but alas, it was gone.

Now, while we want to blame Marco, we really can't.  When we're home, if he puts something down, he can trust that it'll be there when he returns for it.  He's only two after all!  Bottom line, it was our fault.  We shouldn't have trusted him with it.

Mauricio still has not replaced the phone because it would cost him over $600 for a new one due to the fact that we're not due for an upgrade for some time.

Fast forward to today.  We had a play date with friends and afterward we all headed to a pizza restaurant for lunch.  There were 8 kids and 4 moms.  Whew.  So as the clock starts ticking, Jonas begins getting tired and fussy.  He's standing up in his high chair, throwing forks, tossing his cup... just acting up.  So I rely on Old Faithful.  I hand Jonas my phone and it calms the storm.  We're having lunch and everything is fine until Jonas decides that the phone is no longer entertaining enough and he throws it on the floor.  I have a case, but it's obviously not baby proof.  I picked it up and wanted to cry.

Shattered.
Completely shattered.

But really, I can't blame Jonas.  It's MY fault.  I didn't need to give it to him.  I could have packed his pacifier and a toy and laid him down instead.  I could  have packed him a book or a toy.  He's only 19 months old after all!  I shouldn't have trusted him with it.

So I'm heading to the Apple Store Genius Bar later this evening to see if there is anything they can do for me.  I am buying a huge case and I'm going to break my kids of this habit.  Ugh.

It's only appropriate that Marco would lose Mauricio's phone and then Jonas would break mine.  We're all even-Stevens.  Now Mauricio can't be mad at me or else he'd be the Pot and I'd be the Kettle.  We're 1 and 1.  When will we learn?!

Bible Stories: David & Goliath

Mauricio tells the boys Bible stories before bed... He alters them a little so that they're less violent and at their level and I just think its the sweetest thing! This is what I heard pouring through the baby monitor the other night:

One time there was a boy named David and David was very brave. Brave means not scared. And his Papai told him to go take care of the sheep. But one day there came a lion... And how does a lion go?
Raaaaaaawrrrrr

So David took a stone and put it into his sling and began to swing it around and around faster and faster like this. :making whooshing sound: and when it got real fast, he let it go... it went flying and hit the lion on the head!  The lion scared and ran away!  Then David knew he was brave.

Then another day the Papai told David to go take his brothers some lunch... David had 8 brothers. How many brothers do you have?
One

So when he got there with the lunch, he saw a real big guy... His name was Goliath. And Goliath was big like a house! Goliath was saying real mean things about God and David's brothers were upset. Goliath said he would only stop saying bad things about God if someone came to fight him... And everyone was too scared. But not David... He was brave because he had already fought the lion. So he said, "I'll fight you!" and Goliath started laughing saying "you can't beat me, you're just a little boy". But David was brave so he went a took a rock and put it in his slingshot and began swinging it around like this :make whooshing sound: and faster and faster and he threw it at his head! Goliath was hit and he started crying and ran away!!! All of David's brothers were saying "yay David! You're so brave!".  But David knew that he was only brave because he loved God and God made him strong.

The End.

Tough Love

There's a famous story about me that gets told more often than I like.  It's about my first day at work... ever.  I was teaching K-8 music at a private school and had never stepped foot into a classroom (as a teacher) before that day.  You see, I wasn't really qualified for this job, as I have a performance degree... not a teaching one.  I was meant born to be a diva... but as life would have it, I was not.  So I grudgingly agreed to teach for a fee.

Well, when you're first going in to teaching, everyone tells you that your first days set the tone for your entire year.  You need to lay down the law and take control on day 1 or you've already lost them.  Basically, be a huge bitch.  Only, they didn't tell me that maybe I could ease up with the kindergardeners. Oops.

So, in my kindergarden class, I had a little girl who started acting up... you know, like a 5 year old... only I thought she was being disobedient.  So I put her on time out.  I am NO NONSENSE!  Well, naturally she started to cry.  But when I mean cry, I should actually say wailing... or screaming like a banshee.  It was horrible and set the tone in my class... a negative tone.

So I told her, "If you're gonna cry, cry in the corner quietly".

That's where I get my notoriety. How could I possibly tell a 5 year old girl, on her FIRST day of school EVER to cry QUIETLY in the corner?!  What kind of a monster am I?!

You know what I figured out teaching that first job?  I'm not very good with little kids.  I don't care if your "finger hurts" or if you "miss your mommy"... I just don't.

And now, as a MOM, I realize I STILL DON'T CARE!

Not even with my OWN kids.

Please don't get me wrong, I adore everything about my kids.  And if they are genuinely hurt or sad, of COURSE I comfort them.  But like I said, I am no nonsense.

If Marco is faking it... I tell him to "dry it up".
If Marco is over reacting about an injury... I ask him if we should "cut it off"?

Most of the time when he gets hurt, I give him a rub and a kiss and send him on his way to go play.  And for that, I have a pretty tough kid.  Now I know that when he cries... when he REALLY cries... it's because he's REALLY hurt.

With Jonas, I'm much softer.  Aside from being younger, his demeanor is much more sensitive than Marco's.  He gets his feelings hurt and cries with lots of emotion... tears, sniffles, gasps and all.  It's all a little dramatic, but every kid is different.

That's just how I am.  Not even the joys of motherhood could soften my heart.  haha.

And as for my teaching?  In that one year, I realized I'm not cut out to teach elementary.  I got a job the very next year teaching Middle School Chorus and found my niche.  I LOVE middle schoolers.  I get them.  They get me.  I can give them my "tough love" and they love it.

And Now You Know

People always ask me why I look tired. They want to know why my hair is messy and why my clothing is disheveled.

This video should answer all of those burning questions:

And now you know. Now you can understand why I always look like a frazzled mess... Because I have to deal with things like this several times a day.

And to make matters worse, on top of being covered in toilet water, Marco also crapped his pants and had wet runny poop sliding down his legs. Lovely.

Moms of girls, you ain't got nothing on this... This is a boy thing through and through.

Any further questions?