What's In A Name?

Baby names, baby names, baby names... this is a topic I talk about on a weekly basis.  Many of my friends are pregnant or new mothers and the topic of what to name their little new bundle always comes up.

When we were pregnant with our first, we knew before we even knew the sex, that if it was a boy it would be Marco.  Our only question was as to whether we wanted it to be Marcos or Marco.  But it was decided rather quickly and easily.

With our second pregnancy, it was a little more difficult.  We had tossed around a multitude of names and couldn't settle on any one name decidedly.  People asked us EVERY day what his name would be and we couldn't decide.  In my drug infused state, I almost allowed Mauricio to name him Ayrton... thank God I had a moment of clarity!  We actually didn't finally decide on Jonas until I was being wheeled into the operating room for my c-section!

So what's in a name?  Is it really THAT important?  Is it more important to show your culture, to express your individuality or to blend in?

A few years ago I saw an incredible documentary called Freakonomics, which is also a best selling book.  And last night, I re-watched the portion about baby names and it's significance.  If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend it... and it's on Netflix Instant!

Basically it says that statistically speaking, the name you choose for your baby will obviously impact his/her entire life.  According to the documentary there are two ways in which a name will impact the child.

The first way is what the name says about your social economic status.  It provides an example about a mother who wanted to name her child Tempest (after the Cosby show daughter) but accidentally named her Temptress.  And Temptress inevitably was a problematic child, promiscuous, arrested for petty theft and sent to juvy.  The question was whether or not the name itself caused the problem... and what they found was NO.  The problem is not with the name itself, but rather with the parent who would mistakenly name her child Temptress.  This mother was clearly low income, low education, and misspelling her daughter's name was the least of her problems.  But in choosing a name that is unique or purposefully misspelled, you may be singling yourself out to appear to others as a lower class person, on paper at least.

The second way is how the name will affect your child in the adult world.  They did an experiment and sent out identical resumes with only the name changed.  One had a predominantly "black name", Tyrone, while the other had a "white name", Greg.  With exception to the name, everything else was the same.  And much to no one's surprise, "Greg" got called back 33% MORE than "Tyrone"!  That means that if they were both real men looking for jobs, while it would take Greg 10 weeks to find a job, it would take Tyrone 15 weeks!  Racism?  Yep.  But it's statistically proven.

So the question arrises... Should I name my child something that resonates with my heritage even if it may hinder their chances at a successful adult life?  There's no right or wrong answer.

This is another section of the documentary that I found fascinating... it's about name popularity.  Watch.

The reason I even began thinking about this in the first place was because I was having a conversation with my MIL who is an ESOL teacher.  Her students have the WORST names ever.  A lot of them are blatantly misspelled or sooooo hispanic that they'll never be taken seriously outside of Miami.  And how will these unique names affect their futures?  Personally, I just shake my head and wonder WHAT these parents were thinking?!

And then I turn it into my own life and wonder if WE made a good choice when choosing names for our children.  Are they masculine enough?  Are they strong enough?  Will they be (terribly) made fun of?  Are they too cultural?

We KNOW that when someone hears the name "Marco", that the first thing to enter their heads is "Marco Polo".  We know.  But, we don't feel like that's such a big deal.  I mean, there are MUCH worse things a child can be called.  And we felt like Marco is a strong and masculine name that commands authority.  It means "warlike".  That's pretty badass.

And with Jonas, we know that when someone hears it they think of "The Jonas Brothers".  But that's a passing fad and I'm sure that once he's in school, NO ONE will even know who the Jonas Brothers are anymore.  And besides, HE's a Jonas Brother... his name is Jonas and he's a Brother.  :)  We loved the fact that Jonas was a softer name... a little more gentle.  And the name Jonas means "dove"... which is the symbol for Peace.

So we have War & Peace.

I don't know if we chose correctly.  Really, there is no right or wrong answer.  And what matters more than the name you choose, is the way in which you raise and nurture your child.

If you haven't seen the documentary, I urge you to do so.  It's so interesting!  And even if you just have time for the name part, it's only about 20 minutes long.

I'd love to hear from YOU.  How did you choose your baby's name?  What do you think about these statistics?  Have you seen the documentary?

The Dumb Dad

Did you all hear what the Census Bureau said a few months back?
They said that when mother is staying home with her kids, it's "parenting", while when the father does it, it's a "child-care arrangement".  In other words, Babysitting.

This should be shocking to us all... not just to the poor stay-at-home dads that get NO respect and have a hard enough time as it is, but also to us women!  I mean, they are basically saying that dad's are useless... only "babysitter worthy".  

Since 2010, 32% of children are staying home with dad... that's one in three families!  So what's with this idea that dads are incapable?  Why are they looked down upon?  Why have we made them into Dumb Dads?

Now, this is just my personal opinion, but I strongly believe that we women have done it to ourselves.  We have shot ourselves in the foot.  We want so badly to be treated equally and have high paying jobs (I am Woman, hear me Roar) but that doesn't mean that our other responsibilities have faded away.  Throughout the course of time, it's been the man's job to go out (hunter) and the women's to stay in and care for the house (gatherer).  But in the last century, roles have shifted and morphed.  That's a good thing... but there are consequences that came upon us.  The women now want to be the hunter AND the gatherer... (I don't need no man!) and what has happend to us... we're worn out, exhausted, stressed, over worked.  And what exactly has happened to our men?  They have turned into a pile of mush... the Dumb Dad.

It's sad to say, but a lot of men would really rather not be the hunters OR the gatherers... they wanna chill, watch football, play xbox, eat doritos.  The perfect example I can think of is based on the first people to ever walk this planet... Adam and Eve (this is not a debate as to whether you believed they were actually the first people or not... it's an illustration... don't let me lose you!)  When everything was going well, Adam was having a blast... as soon as things got hard, he pointed fingers, hid and acted like a little boy.  But wait, ladies, Eve was in the wrong too... she wanted to CONTROL Adam... she needed to dictate what was going on... that was the FIRST mistake!  So, it's in our nature... women want to take control, men want to go-with-the-flow.

This is what has happened to us.  We have allowed our husbands to become our children.  We treat our husbands like they are incapable children.  We leave them lists, call to check up and be sure that they've eaten, nag at them and repeat things to them like they are incapable of comprehending simple commands.  YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT YOUR CHILD!!!

It really frustrates me when I hear people saying, "Oh, I left the kids with my husband... pray for them, hahahahaha".  Really?!  You left the kids with their FATHER... have some faith that he can handle it!  He's not incapable... he's not dumb... he's fully able to take care of the children that he helped bring into the world.  But YOU have to let him!  You have enable him!

Your husband is NOT dumb... he was smart enough to snag you, wasn't he?  So what happened between then and now.  When did he turn into Homer Simpson?

But now, men are insecure because we have babied them.  So they call and ask stupid questions... just making us feel like they can't possibly handle it.  This happened once and ONLY once in my household.  I left the kids with their father, who is fully capable of handling anything and everything thrown at him.  I went to work.  While at work, he called and asked me what he should give them for lunch.  I had not left him a schedule or a list or a lunch or anything... I figured, he is a grown intelligent man, he can figure it out.  BUT, he must have been insecure because he called me to ask.  My reply was this, "do I call you when you're at work to ask you what to feed the kids?  You can figure it out... and if there's nothing at home, then you can go out".  Was that harsh?  Maybe.  BUT it never happened again.

My husband is a trooper.  He is so amazing with the kids... and NOT just as a playmate.  He plays with them, but he also feeds them and bathes them and changes diapers and takes them out and teaches them and disciplines them.  He is a PARENT... NOT a babysitter!

Mothers, you need to trust your husband with your kids... they're not MY kids... they're OUR kids.  Raise the bar of your expectation with your husband... he will meet it.  He might not like it at first, BUT later he will feel confident and secure and he will build a beautiful relationship with your children.

If women are going to be hunters and gatherers, then it's time for men to do the same.  That means NO MORE "hands-off" dads.  NO MORE "not great with the kids" dads.  NO MORE "only a playmate" dads.  NO MORE "babysitting" dads.  And it starts with us... will we allow them to come into our territory of being a parent?

To read more about the Census Bureau, you can follow these links:
http://womenslawproject.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/census-bureau-mom-is-designated-parent-dad-is-childcare-arrangement/


http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/children/cb11-198.html

SAHM, Minus the H

When I lived in Greenville, there were so many SAHM's.  It was the norm.  You had a kid (or 2 or 3 or 6) and stayed home with them until they were ready to go to school.  Sometimes at that point, you STILL didn't go to work... you just transitioned into becoming a housewife/ taxi service.  Like I said, that's the norm... the culture.  Of course there are still those moms that have to work, and they do, and it's fine... they're not shunned... much.

But here in Miami, the culture is the COMPLETE opposite.  Here, most women go back to work once their 3 month maternity leave is over...  The cost of living here is much higher and they have to go back to work for financial reasons.  So, they have their Abuelita's help take care of the baby or put the baby in a home care or daycare.  When moving here, I was really worried that I'd be one of the Only Lonely SAHM's in Miami and that I wouldn't have any friends.

Well for the most part, I was right.  The SAHM scene is scarse.  Most all the SAHM women who I know are trying to find a job or at least part time work to help with the responsibilities.  For this reason, our MOPS group has had a very hard time taking off.  We have very little consistency.  But I digress, that's not what this post is about.

In Greenville, if you met a SAHM, you'd immediately exchange information and set up times for your next playdate at the park... especially if your kids were around the same ages!  In Greenville, women are constantly calling, texting and facebooking each other, making plans for their kiddos for the upcoming week.  The kids stay busy, the moms stay social, everyone is happy.

The SAHM's here are different than the ones in Greenville.  They're private.  They're flyin' solo.  They want to be left alone.  I can not tell you HOW many women I've met, that we exchange a few words and no conversation ensues.  Or HOW many women I've told, "we should get together sometime" and they give me a weak smile and say, "oh, we just don't do that sort of thing".  Am I missing something?!  What "sort of thing"?!

Here's what I see about Miami SAHM's.  They think that just because they're a Stay AT HOME Mom, that they have to STAY AT HOME!  What!?  They rarely venture out of the house.  They don't want to meet up for play dates.  They don't want to leave their kids at any form of childcare or take them to activities.

We stay busy.  We have something to do EVERY single morning of the week.  And, if we don't then we have a few activities that I insert here and there.  Here's a run down of our typical week:
Monday- Mall play area OR Library Toddler time  (both options are free)
Tuesday- MOPS (cost $25 for the year.  Free childcare)
Wednesday- BSF Bible Study Fellowship (free with free childcare)
Thursday- Doctor Appointment day OR Library Toddler Time
Friday- Music Time class ($200 per child for the semester).

That's our mornings.  Then we come home for lunch, nap and our afternoons are usually watching a movie, playing, reading, cooking, etc.  As you can see, my activities are mostly free.  The only activity I splurge on is the MusicTime class for each of the boys because music enrichment is important to me.  But other than that, it's all free.

Did you notice, I leave the boys twice a week in "childcare"?  *GASP*  Once at MOPS and once at BSF.  And can I say, they don't mind one bit.  They love it.  They love that they have the opportunity to play with "new friends" and with new toys.  They need to be away from me a little bit... and I need it too!  And during that time, I am receiving an enrichment for mySELF that I wouldn't otherwise be able to receive.  You know, this SAHM thing is HARD... I need a break for ME too!  And if I didn't feel 100% confident that my children were being left in a loving, Christian, happy, friendly and safe environment, I wouldn't be leaving them.  And when I tell you that they love it... LOVE it.

I just can not understand how some moms can just stay isolated in their homes or with their errands all day, every day and not take a time out for the enrichment of their children.  Enrichment INCLUDES socialization!  Children NEED to learn how to play with other children... especially when you're NOT there!  Can't you see that by doing this, you're giving them the BEST of both worlds?... personal focused time with you AND enriching activities that offer social stimulation.

Maybe we should change the phrase SAHM to SBM (Stay Busy Mom) or SFEM (Stay Focused on Enrichment Mom).  I mean, if you're staying home from work, then your NEW job should be focusing on your children and their enrichment.

So with that, I tell you...

Edit: After I wrote this, we headed out to the library.  And case in point... we were the ONLY ones there.  As in, me Marco and Jonas... that's it.  Why!?  Why aren't people taking advantage of these FREE services?
And, I know some of you live in the coooold weather, so I give you a pass, but us?  We're in Miami... no excuses.

Children's TV is a Disgrace!

Back in 2006 when Mau and I got engaged, we cut off our cable in an effort to save money for the wedding... and we never turned it back on.  We got used to watching only a few channels and taking advantage of Netflix and Hulu.  When we had our kids, we talked about possibly turning it back on for the kids' programming, but decided to see if we could survive without it... and guess what?  We did.

Now that we're living with the in-laws, we have access to their Dish and the many, many, MANY channels that come with it.  Honestly, it's rather overwhelming.  But along with that, now we have multiple children's programming channels.  While we used to only watch PBS, now we have Disney Jr, Nick Jr and Cartoon Network to choose from as well.  And you know what I've discovered?  They're all crap.  What a disgrace!  Let's evaluate, shall we? (For the sake of not writing a thesis on the subject, I'll give you an abridged version... just a few programs per network).

Disney Junior

Jake and the Never Land Pirates.  This show, although cute, has NO purpose.  First off, pirates?  Really?  We're gonna idolize PIRATES to PRE-schoolers?  For the LOVE!  Secondly, where are these "pirate kids"' parents?  The only good thing I have to say about this show is that the band disney has hired to do the music is pretty cool.  I dig them.  But, really?  On Monday they had a marathon... holy cow!

Anyone want to clarify for me WHAT THE HECK this is?  Cars that are animals?  I really don't get it.

This is the only show I'll tolerate from Disney Jr.  It's hard to tell your toddler that Mickey Mouse is a disgrace.  He's famous, for cryin' out loud!  And, we went to see him... in person... in June, so Marco's got a "relationship" with him.  But, in MY opinion... that show is pretty bad too.  They "try" to teach... but not very hard.  And it's not consistant.  Which is a real shame.



Nick Jr. 

Did you all read the article about how watching this show has actually proven to decrease test scores in 4 year olds?  If not, check it out here.  If this is not a testament to what a disgrace this show is, then I don't know what is.  I know of some people who truly enjoyed this program... but they were in college... and they were high.  Go figures.  This is not a show for children.  And, Nick Jr. doesn't seem to see a problem in playing it back-to-back-to-back for hours on end. Really?!  This is quite possible the most obnoxious show on television.

Can we talk for a second about these two train wrecks?  And children LOVE them.  Not my children... thank you Jesus!  First off, it's been proven that teaching "Spanglish" as Dora and Diego do is not an effective way of teaching language.  It would be way more beneficial for these shows to be entirely in Spanish... and yes, the kids will watch it and learn.  We don't give kids enough credit, ya know!  They're smart... if we let them be!  And, can this show be more annoying?  I want to throw something at the TV when they start screaming, "say it louder... LOUDER... LOUDER!!!"  OMG... SHUT UP!!!

Have you seen this show?  It's a little odd.  First off, the proportions are all off.  The goldfish are the size of whales.  I just don't get it.  And, the scenery is like outside... only, they're underwater.  Like, there are trees, the sky, airplanes, cars, etc... but they're in the ocean.  WHY?  Why wouldn't they just make them kids... not mermaids?  I'm baffled.




Yo Gabba Gabba is the only show we watch from Nick... and we watch it on Netflix.  I also think it's a waste of time.  It's annoying as hell.  BUT, we kinda dig the music.  It's really modern and up to date, which is hard to find in kids shows.  We limit the amount of Gabba we allow too.  I mean, for cryin' out loud, they have a kid playing the recorder with her nose!  We have to limit it.


How about all the commercials on Nick?  What the heck!?  That's the last thing I want my kid to see.  At least Disney doesn't have commercials... they're definitely one up from Nick.

Now I could go on and talk about Cartoon Network as well, but I wont.  It's not even worth the time it'll take me to find pictures and write it up.  This network is a huge disgrace and I don't think I'll EVER allow my kids to watch it.  Every show makes kids out to be smart asses and parents are idiots.  What a shame... encouraging little defiant monsters.

PBS
I can honestly tell you that this is the ONLY channel that has quality programming for hours on end.  I don't plan on planting my kids in front of the TV for hours on end, but if you're gonna have "one of those days", at least you know there's an option that's not going to fill their heads with garbage.  Don't get me wrong... not all PBS shows are great.  I think Clifford is crap as well as Caillou.  But, eh, it's better than the alternatives.  Let me share with you my faves!

Super Why is awesome.  Do you think I sat with Marco and drilled with him all his letters?  Ok, a little... but he got A LOT of it from this show.  They teach the alphabet, rhyming words, spelling and reading skills.  Hello... who said learning can't be fun AND educational.

A classic.  I remember watching it when I was a kid... and it's still on, still relevant, still cool.  It's not the same Sesame Street we used to watch... no no no... there are NEW seasons, with modern music, new cameos from current actors and singers and things that our 21st century kiddos "get".  This show does such a great job of staying current and relevant.  It's rare to find a show that has lasted so long and stayed so popular... especially for kids.

Word World is a great show.  So clever too. They have some great artists.  Everything in the show has the word built into it.  Like, the dog's body is made with the letters D-O-G.  Not only do they teach reading and letter skills, but they also have themes on friendship, sharing and kindness.  It's also silly and cute.  And the shows are only 15 minutes long, so they aren't too tedious... perfect for toddlers!


So, in order to not make this any longer than it already is... I know, it's already long enough, I'll leave you with this.  Consider what your kids are watching.  In my opinion, it's unrealistic to implement a "no tv" rule unless you and your family abide by it as well.  I mean, if kids are gonna watch TV (and you know they are), then make the most out of it.  Don't waste your time with junk that has no purpose other than being entertaining... they'll have plenty of time for that later.

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Going

This year is my 10 year high school reunion.  Yes, that pretty much means I'm officially old.  It really doesn't feel like it's been that long, but alas, it has and a lot has changed since then.

Originally, I was looking forward to my reunion, but that quickly changed when a FB page was opened up to promote and discuss it.  Here are a few reasons why I will NOT be attending my 10 year reunion.

1.  The FB page has been absurd and really shown me who the people we went to high school with were like and how little they have changed in 10 years.

2.  The FB page has been beyond obnoxious, with a million harassment's reminders about buying our ridiculously expensive tickets.

3.  The organization has been anything but organized.  They opened it up for suggestions and received a cacophony of dumb opinions and people being "too cool for school".  They didn't want to have it at this one reception hall, which would have been a good deal, because some girl had her 15's there... like, 13 years ago... really?!  I went to that party 13 years ago, and I'll admit, it was fun... but not so good that we can't have any other event there ever because, omg, how tacky would that be?  Get. A. Life.

4.  They decided to not invite the teachers.  Why?  Because some people don't like some of the teachers... "She was meeeean"... "She assigned haaaaard work".  Ummm, who said these "mean" teachers would want to go anyway?  And, be a grown up and GET-OVER-IT!

5.  So they decided to have the party... at a house.  Yes, a house party.  But wait guys, they're like renting suuuuper nice tables and chairs... oh, and they're having TOP SHELF LIQUOR... guys, it's totally worth it.  And, maybe if enough people go, they'll have enough money to buy finger foods.  And, they have to get valet, security, decorations, lights, dj, dance floor, etc.  All of this, for the low and reasonable price of... $80 PER PERSON!  Are they freaking kidding... $80 per person for a house party?!  So, if Mau and I wanted to go, we'd have to dish out $160... ridiculous!

6.  But then, people have said NOT to bring your husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends... because they don't know anybody and you'll have to "babysit" them the whole night.  Riiiiiight.

7.  A few of the comments made on the FB page has totally turned me off from attending.  Maybe I've become too uptight but I don't think they're funny... I think they're inappropriate, rude and immature.  Comments like:
- Yeah, ladies, don't bring your husbands, that way we can hook up like we used to.
- Buy your tickets or we'll sacrifice your children.

8.  Not only has the FB reunion page ruined it for me, but so has FB in general.  FB has killed the need for reunions.  I know about everyone's life and I have easy access to messaging them.  I am not going to go to the reunion and be surprised that so and so married HIM, or that Fulanita is now a doctor.  We already know all of this... thanks to FB.

9.  There are only a handful of people I REALLY want to see anyway... and I know I don't need to pay that much money to get together with them.  I'd much rather get together with them individually or in a small group, save my money and not have to endure the stupidity that I have seen on the FB page.

10.  None of the people I REALLY want to see are going anyway.

So, if you wanted to see me, it wont be there.  I would LOVE to get together with anyone, but not under those circumstances.  Email me or FB me if you'd like to get together.

The Only Lonely SAHM

Yesterday I wrote a whole post about my doubts and trusting in the Lord to guide us.  Well, this one is my largest doubt/fear.  I fear that I am going to be the only SAHM in Miami and thus be very lonely.  Sure, my weekends will be fun filled with family gatherings, parties and more food than I can stuff my face with, but what will my Monday-Friday 8-5 look like?

Living in Greenville has given me the opportunity to meet SO many SAHM's... it's ridiculous.  Actually, there are probably more SAHM's than working moms.  It's just the culture here.  Life here is also catered to SAHM's.  There are tons of clubs, groups, meet ups, parks, festivals, classes, etc that are all geared towards small children and their moms.  I always had tons to do during the work week, but my weekends were sparse.

In Miami, things are very different.  For one, the cost of living is so high that typically both parents NEED to work just to pay off their rent or mortgage.  Also, it is in Miami fashion to bite off more than you can chew, thus leaving no other choice but to have to work.  For example, newlyweds will usually buy a house and new cars thinking of both salaries combined... when baby comes along, they realize they can't lose that other salary and maintain their lifestyle.  So, they get Abuelita to help out with the baby while mom goes back to work.  This isn't always the case, but it is a lot... did I piss anyone off right now?  Oh well.  I hope I don't have to one day eat those words, but it's important for me to stay home with my kids and it's worth the sacrifice.  We do not live a lavish lifestyle... for cryin' out loud, I still drive the same car I did while in High School, mmm-ok?

But, I digress... my point is that there are few SAHM's in Miami.  My sister-in-law Christy confirmed this the other day.  She flat out told me I was going to have a hard time finding things to do during the day and people to hang out with.  Then I started thinking about it... I have a bunch of friends that have kids... but they all work.  I don't think I know ANY SAHM's in Miami.  Oh Jeez!

Maybe the only women in Miami that can afford to be SAHM's are married to doctors.  And if you are and you're reading this... you're new BFF awaits.  Seriously, especially if you wanna fly me to Paris (like in Bridesmaids).  I'm totally kidding... maybe... call me. 

So I started to do a little research.  First thing I did was try to find a local MOPS group.  I was a member here for 2 years and it was a great way to meet local SAHM's that are Christian.  Well, just to give you an example... in Greenville, there are over 5 groups to choose from.  In Miami, there is 1... ONE... UNO... that's it.  Then there's one in Miramar... one in Ft. Lauderdale... one in Boca... one in West Palm.  These are majorly big cities and they only have ONE group?!  It leads me to believe one of two things: a) There just isn't a need because there aren't many SAHM's or b) There just isn't a need because there aren't many Christians.  Oh goodness, I hope it isn't the latter.

I then went to meetup.com to see if I could find a group that did play dates here and there.  I find a "Fabulous Moms Group" that meets up for mani/pedi's and cocktails... that's not what I'm looking for.  Then there's a "Lose the Baby-weight Group"... also not interested.  Then, this one I thought was funny, "Liberal Parents of Little Kids"... it literally says, "Obama-voting, and intellectually driven", you know because if you didn't vote for Obama you're a dumb@ss (not that I care even a little bit about politics, but still... seriously, how is that a kids group?).  But that still wasn't my favorite... this was, "FLASH- Florida Atheist and Secular Humanist Parents" with a picture that reads "Being a good person doesn't require God... don't believe in God? You're not alone".  Ho-Ly-Cow.  Toto, we're not in the Bible Belt anymore.

I have contacted the MOPS group in Miramar and will be joining them in September and I will continue to look at meetup.com and try out a few of the less fabulous, more kid-loving groups.  Hopefully I wont be the only lonely SAHM in Miami.  I've gotta find a mommy posse.

But in all seriousness, if you're reading this and you ARE a SAHM in Miami (even if you're not married to a doctor and willing to fly me to Paris), please let me know.  You can FB me or email me at tablefor4.nicole@gmail.com. 

Opened Doors

Whenever I've had a big decision to make, my prayer has always been the same: God, if it's for me and if it's the best thing for me, make it happen.  If it isn't, then close that door and don't even allow it to be an option.  I have never prayed for God to make something specific happen, because I truly believe with all my heart that His plans are far greater than any of our plans.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11


Before I graduated from college, I was toying with the idea of heading off to grad school in New York to pursue my opera career.  I had an audition (round 2) at the Manhattan School of Music.  Very prestigious.  But I had been in this really great relationship for about a year and I knew in my heart of hearts that if I moved, that relationship would fall apart.  I begged God to show me which door to walk through.  When I stepped off the plane in NYC for my audition, the cold air hit me square in the face and within an hour of arriving I had completely lost my voice.  How was I supposed to have an opera audition with no voice?  This was a CLEAR message from God that NYC was not the place for me.  And I'm so happy I listened to him and walked through that door... that boy I was dating became my husband, my best friend and the father to my children.

When I was a recent college grad, I had another decision to make.  I could stay in Miami and get a job or try to move to Orlando.  Mauricio had just decided to attend school in Orlando, and again I feared that a long distance relationship would be detrimental.  But I couldn't just go to Orlando and live with nothing to do... I had to find a job.  I gave myself 3 days.  I told myself that God was the ultimate provider and if I was meant to live in Orlando and follow Mauricio, that He would make it happen.  I went to Orlando for 3 days to try and find a job... if I didn't succeed then that was God closing that door.  I went and received 3 job offers in that time and decided to take one.  I packed up my bags and moved to Orlando, trusting completely that it was in God's will for me.  And I'm so happy I did... my relationship grew in strength, I met some wonderful people who are still my closest friends, and I rededicated my life to Jesus and began to act like the Christian I always claimed to be.  I fell in love with Jesus in Orlando.

When Mau and I had been married for a year, we began having that baby itch.  But, with Mau out of work, it was impossible to start a family.  Then one day out of the blue, Carol called and told Mau that her husbands company was hiring and would put in a good word for him.  Only problem was that the job was in Greenville, SC.  Well, we had to trust the Lord and walk through the doors that He opened.  We knew we wanted babies, and if moving the Greenville was the only way to get them, then we'd move.  And we did.  Do you know, the SAME day Mauricio started working in Greenville I got a positive pregnancy test!  I was pregnant with Marco.  That's God!  And I'm so happy we listened and moved to Greenville... I was able to stay home and take care of my baby, and then God blessed us with a second baby!

Now, since we moved to Greenville, our family has been whining and complaining about how far we live.  And I know, it is far.  So, since coming here, our prayer has been the same... lead us where we should go.  For two and a half years we heard nothing.  But now we have.  God opened up this door for us to be able to move back to Miami.

I have all these doubts and worries about moving back.  What will my life look like?  Will I be able to afford to remain a SAHM?  Will my family drive me bonkers?  I even started thinking that maybe this wasn't from God.  Maybe it was our will, or better yet, our parents' will, but not God's.  But then I had reassurance... Adele told me something great, "All good things come from God".  If this wasn't from God, it wouldn't have been laid out before us so perfectly.  Mauricio wouldn't have gotten the job.  He wouldn't have been made a generous offer.  We wouldn't have had 3 showings TODAY to show our apartment and be released from our lease agreement.  God is taking care of every.single.little.step.  Why do I doubt?

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28


So, here we go.  Walking into the unknown.  But, the door was opened by God.  So whatever lays beyond it is from Him and for us.  As long as we keep praying to Him, seeking His will and obeying, how can we ever be lead astray?

Smokey the Pool Lady

You know, I don't know how these things happen to me, but they do and you know me, I can't keep my trap shut.  I have a REALLY big bark... but no bite at all.

Today we joined Carol, her kids and Beth with her son at the pool for our final pool play date.  All was going well... as well as can be expected with 6 kids and 3 adults.  We decide to take a break from the deep pool and head over to the baby pool for a bit.  While in the baby pool, we noticed these 2 women smoking right outside the gate.  The wind was blowing in such a way that the smoke was coming directly our way.  So, I comment to Carol, "Ugh, I hate the smell of smoke".  That's it.  That was my comment.  The lady rushed over to the gate and proceded to rip us a new one.

Back story:  This was not Carol's first encounter with Smokey.  Apparently, a few weeks back, Carol informed Smokey that there was no smoking at or in the pool.  On this day, she was smoking INSIDE the pool.  Come on, that's common sense!

So, I guess my simple comment threw her over the edge.  Smokey told us that she was entitled to smoke outside the gate, and where would I have her stand instead?  Well, she asked, so I told her.  I told her I'd like her to stand a little further down so I didn't have to smell her stench.  To which she replied, too bad.  If she didn't like my answer, she shouldn't have asked.  Just as she's entitled to smoke outside the gate, I am entitled to say WHATEVER I want about her stinky smoke.

She finishes her cigarette and comes over to us for another bantering.  She tells us that we need to shut our mouths and that we are LUCKY our kids were with us or else.  She was even so kind as to invite Carol out to the parking lot to settle it like "big girls".  Ha!  She wanted to fight... now that's Klassy!

Well, you want to know the cherry on top?  She called the COPS!  Yep, she really did!  We were having our lunch under the pavilion when we see her chatting with an officer.  Did she think we were going to get in trouble for saying something about her smoking... is she delusional?!  The officer comes up to us and hears "our side" which is no big deal.  Carol said that the only thing that she was upset about was Smokey threatening her and calling her out.  Well, as expected, and as stated in our Good Ol' American Constitution, anyone can say anything they want.  DUH!

So in the end, nothing happened.  The cop went back to serving and protecting against REAL crime, and ol' Smokey went back to getting her fierce tan on... she's 50 by the way, yuck.

Now, let me shamelessly admit something before the world of bloggers... I am prejudice against smokers... and I.Don't.Care.One.Bit.  I usually give smokers a bad face while walking past them.  I cough loudly on purpose.  I say loud comments about how stinky it is.  Shameless.  First of all, I don't think that I or my children should have to endure hazardous chemicals because a STRANGER can't practice self control and is too selfish to smoke in the privacy of their own homes.  Heck yes, I think smoking in public should be finable and GOOD JOB, NYC for making it that way!  Smoking is hazardous to our health... as is 2nd hand smoke.  This is not an idea or a opinion... it's a FACT!  I have chronic lung disease and who knows what other ailments other people may have, and yet these self righteous smokers feel the need to cry about their "smokers rights".  Well, what about MY right to breathe clean, non-toxic air?  What about MY right to not expose my children to it?  Why should I have to leave if I'm not the one with the addiction.  Actually, I do have an addiction... to clean air.  

Ok, I'll step off my soap box now.  Whew.

Heart Broken

After hearing the verdict on the Casey Anthony case, my heart is simply broken for the lack of justice served for two-year old Cayle's murder.
When the case was first uncovered, I was still living in Orlando... in the heart of the action.  It was all consuming.  Every time I turned on the radio or tv, there it was... 2 year old Cayle missing.  People from my town were performing endless searches to find this little girl, dead or alive.
As the search continued, I found out I was pregnant with Marco.  When they finally found her body, and Casey was questioned, I knew that something was not right.  I was not yet a mother, but I KNEW that this was not how a mother behaved or mourned.  And as more and more evidence was brought forth, it became clear in my heart that she had a hand in her daughters murder.
Honestly, in the 2 years since they found the body, I have not followed the case much.  The news here may mention it, but doesn't dwell on it, and I haven't sought it out myself.  I think it's been too painful for me to hear the details and look at pictures of that beautiful little girl.
To me, this could have been a clear cut case... so many things lining up against Casey.  And yet somehow, the prosecution did not do a good enough job.  Casey Anthony walks free... on all charges except lying to police. (whoopti doo).
But now what?  Who is going to bring this baby girl's murder to justice?  Will there be a new search for the "true" murderer?  And if this really was an "accident", will no one pay for the neglect... for hiding her body... for putting on this show?
I sit here and cry because I can't understand.  How have the Anthony's become so caloused that they don't even care about what happened to that little girl anymore?!  To them, it's all water under the bridge.  Over and done with.  This is absolutely heart breaking that no justice was served for little Cayle.

I Don't Know Why

I really love writing this blog.  I have found that it has not only been a way for me to keep a log and memory of all the cute, quirky or annoying things my kids do, but has also become a release and an escape.   I really ponder over the things I am going to share with you, make plans and have "back-up-posts" planned too.

After I post, I look back on my stats page to see what kind of response I'm getting.  I get so excited when I receive comments, and truly appreciate every single one.  I have personal little silly goals of getting more hits in each month than the last.  Something that really tickled me pink; my blog received over 1000 hits in one month (June)!  The only other time it has ever been that popular was when I blogged about Jonas' birth in October... and that's completely understandable.

I love looking at who is reading.  Did you know I have readers from around the world?!  That rocks!  This week alone, I've had hits from Slovenia (had to look that one up), Belgium (Maud?), Brazil (Oi, familia), and a few others across the ocean.

My mom is always warning me about the "weirdos" on the internet.  Ha!  I have only had positive experiences from writing this blog.  I have blog-met several people and have become interested in their lives and stories as well.  I am so comforted to know that my stories are reaching others and perhaps encouraging them or just making them smile.  I am also happy to know that people around the world are praying for me and my little ones.  That's powerful!

So, the only thing that bugs me... how can I have over 1000 views in one month, and still have only 27 followers.  I don't know WHY I want followers... but I do!  So, if you enjoy reading my blog, would you please consider clicking the "follow" button to the left of your screen.  It would make my heart swell with delight!

Thanks, lovely readers!

Goodbye's Stink

Within the course of this month, I have had the duty of saying "Goodbye", "Au Revoir" and "Tchau" to 3 friends that I have grown to know and love while living in Greenville.

In the beginning of the month, my friend Kim and her little girl Sloane, moved back to their hometown of Kansas City, MO.  Her husband was here on a contract, that we all knew would expire eventually... but we didn't know that we'd become so fond of each other and that our children would love each other as well.  I met Kim last summer at our old apartment complex pool.  Sloane was only 8 months then, and Marco was about to turn 1.  Our kids couldn't play so well together then, but that would change as they got older.  I instantly liked Kim.  Like me, she was a teacher turned stay-at-home mom.  Having no family around, and no one else to call, we began hanging out a lot.  She was one of the few people I could call at 9am to make plans for that same day.  "Wanna meet at the park?"  "Sure!".  Marco knew that Kim had all the good snacks stashed away in her book bag and had no problem helping himself to all of them!  He learned to play alongside Sloane and share "cuh-cuhs" and balls with her.  When Jonas was born, Kim really pulled through for me.  She stayed with Marco many times so that I could go alone to the hospital to visit Jonas in the NICU.  She was always willing to help and never asked for anything in return.  I truly valued her friendship and have missed her and little Sloane a great deal.

Last week, Marco and I had to say goodbye to another wonderful playmate and friend, Maud and Bastian.  I think that Bastian was Marco's best friend, and he still asks for him regularly.  Like Kim, Maud and Bastian were only here temporarily.  Maud's husband moved their family to Greenville from Belgium before Bastian was born, and now they got the chance to move closer to home.  They'll be just 4 hours from Belgium, in a French city (i don't know which).  I actually met Maud a few weeks after Marco was born.  She also lived in our apartment complex and she saw me putting Marco in the car seat and she had baby Bastian with her as well.  Bastian is only 15 days older than Marco.  We didn't get to know each other then, however.  It wasn't until she began taking Bastian to Bouncing Babies at the library that we got close.  Kim and Maud became my go-to-girls.  We would have play dates several times a week, and our kids became the 3 musketeers.  They loved each other!  Maud has saved my butt on several occasions, chasing after Marco and Bastian as they tried to escape from us at the parks or down the sidewalks.   She's the runner... not me... even though she's pregnant!  Maud was one of the most interesting people I've had the privilege of knowing.  I loved hearing about life in Europe, growing up there, their culture and customs.  She is such a wonderfully well rounded person, and I am blessed to have known her.  Who knows, maybe I can convince Mau to take us to France for a super special play date?!

A few weeks ago, we said goodbye to the first friends we made here in Greenville.  Stefania and Leo.  I actually met them before I officially moved here.  They're Brazilians... that explains a lot.  Brazilians stick together.  My friend Carol's mom, Anne, met them and being Brazilian, invited them over to share Thanksgiving dinner.  From then on, we continued to see them occasionally and eventually became friends.  They were a really great couple and friendship with them was nice because Mau got along well will Leo and I liked Stefania a lot... that rarely happens.  Stefania was my Twilight buddy (yes, the midnight showing) and we would always recommend books to one another.  She is also a pediatrician, and has taken my calls at all hours of the night with silly questions and concerns (Thanks!).  She got a better job with a practice down in Sebring, FL... just an hour south of Orlando.  I know we will definitely see them again and I'm sure that our friendship will be able to continue to grow even with the distance.

These 3 women and their families have changed me and shaped my life in Greenville.  I'm not going to lie and say I don't feel a bit lonely without them here... I do.  Some mornings I wonder who Marco will play with that day, and it's sad to think it wont be Bastian or Sloane.  Of course I still have friends here, but these girls became a little more than friends to me... they were my confidants.

My prayer for each of you is that you are blessed in this new era of your life.  That the Lord bless your house, your marriage, your finances and your children.  That you are happy and find comfort in your new life.  That you find new wonderful friends to surround you- but none as great as me.  I miss you guys, and goodbye's stink!

The Rudest Kids in All of SC

Pretty sure I'm going to have the rudest kids in all of South Carolina... and it's all my fault.  I've begun to notice that there are certain manners that a 2 year old does know, or should know, that I never even thought about teaching.  I've also noticed that there are certain manners that pertain to "the South" that all the children know, but which I have no desire to teach my children.  Hmmm, yep, we will be frowned upon here in the South.  Oh well.

Please and Thank You:  You might think this to be odd, but it never really dawned on me to enforce this.  Yes, I usually say "please", or if I don't then I always say "thanks"... but it's never been a big deal around our house.  Growing up, my parents never did the whole, "what do we say..?" or "what's the magic word?" thing.  I asked for something and got it.  In fact, my mom has actually told me that saying "please" amongst family seems so formal and almost like begging, so she doesn't like it.  She feels like it would be her pleasure to do something for me, so I don't have to be all, "pretty please with a cherry on top, would you pleeeeaase give me a glass of water".  A simple, "Hey mom, can you get me a glass of water... thanks" is sufficient.

But I know that this is highly unacceptable... and not just in the South.  I watch parents withhold food or toys from their children until they recite those magical words.  I just don't have it in me.  So I've been trying to teach Marco to say "thanks" after receiving something... but only to outsiders, not to me.  And, if he doesn't say it, it's no big deal to me either.  Blame me... I'm the rude one, not them!

Yes Ma'am, No Sir: The rules of the South are different than those of Florida.  Yes, Florida is technically in "the south", but it couldn't be further from southern culture.  The farther south you drive, the more liberal, atheistic, and hot it gets... (sounds like Hell to a lot of Southerners... haha).  But I digress.  Here in the South, it is customary for children to answer adults with a formal "Yes, Ma'am... No, Ma'am... Yes, Sir... No, Sir".  I had NEVER heard of this before moving here.  Never.  I thought that was military talk.  But apparently it's not.  Apparently, that's the way mothers want to be referred to by their babies.  Maybe I just don't get it.  Although, yes, it is polite, it also rigid and cold.  Personally, I don't want my children to call me Ma'am.  Uhhh, I don't want ANYONE to call me Ma'am... I'm too young still! Every time someone calls me Ma'am, I'm taken aback.  Like, who are you calling Ma'am?!

I don't see how saying, "yes, Mom" or "no, Mom" is any less polite... and yet it's so much more loving and personal.

Miss Nicole, Mr. Mauricio:  It is customary for children to call adults by their first names, but adding a Miss or Mr in front of it.  Again, this was not something I grew up doing and had NO IDEA it was normal.

I remember calling my pre-k teacher Miss Christy, but that was just for her.  Then, when I was 14 and moved to a church that had a few American women in it, we called them Miss Linda and Miss Joy, but everyone else was by their first names only... Anne, Vivian, Rosana, Nilsara.  To all of my friends' parents, I called them by their first names if I knew it... Candice's mom was Martica, Natalie's mom was Olga, Jennifer's mom was Lilly (or Silly Lilly).  There was never any formalities.  If in the case that I didn't know their first name, I would call them, Mrs. Last-Name until she told me what her first name was.  No one ever found this to be rude.  It was normal.

Then we move here, and everyone is calling me Miss Nicole, and it's just weird to me.  It's way formal.  And I feel peer pressured into teaching it to my kids because it is the culture of where we're living, but at the same time, I don't like it.  Do I really have to assimilate?

So, in conclusion, if you notice that my kids don't say the same things that yours do, don't hold it against them.  If they don't call you Miss So and So, but instead just use your first name, know that they are not being rude or forward.  If they answer you with a "yeah?" instead of a "yes, ma'am", they're not being snotty.  If they're given a cookie and forget to say "thank you", they still do appreciate it.  These are just cultural differences that are subtle but still stand out.  So, although Marco and Jonas may be the rudest kids in all of South Carolina, they're pretty normal by Florida standards!

Breast-Food?

This morning, Mauricio emailed me with this article today.  If you don't have time to read it, it's about a cafe in London that is selling breast-milk ice-cream for $22 a bowl.  That's a little steep for a bowl of ice-cream, don't ya think?  And here I am complaining about the $7 we spend at Cold Stone every once in a while!

Well this got me thinking.  I have a freezer FULL of breast-milk!  See, no food... just milk!

When I was originally pumping this milk, while Jonas was in the NICU for 28 days, I had considered donating it.  (See  this post).  But the more I looked into it, the more I read about guidelines and regulations... such as, storing, freezing and shipping methods.  Unfortunately I had already bottled so many of them, that it wasn't going to be feasible.  So I figured I'd just use it up little by little, and then in his cereal.  Problem is... we can't go through it fast enough!

Maybe I should look into using this milk in other ways, instead of just dumping it once it expires.  I started researching ways to use my milk.  Some sites say to dump it in coffee as creamer... but we don't drink coffee.  Then I found this site that has recipes... REAL RECIPES... using breast-milk.  I guess basically you can use breast-milk in anything... only it's thinner and sweeter than cow's milk.  But seriously, who would know?!

When I asked Mau if he would have some breast-milk ice-cream, his answer was simple... "no".  I asked, "Not even mine".  Again, the answer was "no".  And I thought this man loved me?!  haha.  But, if I slipped some breast-milk in muffins or a cake, would he even know the difference?  If I make a delicious smoothie using iced breast-milk, could he tell?  Probably not.  (And now he's always going to second guess... bwahahahaha).

That site also has a recipe for breast-milk soap.  This is great because you can used expired milk for it too!  It's probably so nourishing for dry skin and sensitive baby bottoms.  I think I'll definitely try that... even if Mau "refuses" to use it.

Ok, I can feel the faces you're making just reading this.  No, I'm not a hippie and no, I don't want to live in a commune, and no, I'm probably not going to start a compost any time soon.  But, why waste it?!  Let me just step up on my soap box for a minute here...

You will drink COW'S milk... and feed your children COW'S milk, but not breast-milk?  Does this make any sense?  Cow's milk is for... COWS!  Goat's milk is for... GOATS!  Mammals lactate to feed their children... not to feed other species' children!  We are mammals, and hence we should use OUR milk... HUMAN milk, to feed our families.  Wouldn't it be something if once we became mothers and started lactating, we began feeding our entire families with our milk?  We could make all dairy products, cook with it and drink it.  And now with the whole "organic" and "green" movement, this makes more sense than ever!  What's more organic than "home-grown milk"?!  By the way, have you ever seen a cow's utters... gu-ross!  Do you personally know the cow that is providing your family with milk?  It probably isn't Bessy, your families cow that you raised since calf-hood.  You have NO IDEA what cow it is... you have NO IDEA what that cow is being fed... you have NO IDEA the living conditions or cleanliness of the cow.  And yet, this is preferable to milk from a woman living with you... because it's not as "icky"... yeah, that makes a lot of sense!

Now, that said, I'm not about to continue lactating indefinitely to feed my family.  I hate pumping and I'd probably have to force feed it to some people!  But, I'm not going to let my entire freezer stash go down the drain, so YES, I am going to be looking into these recipes and preparing some breast-milk friendly food.  If you come over, best ask before you eat!  You never know what might be hidden in our food.

Readers, I'd love to hear what you have to say about this!  Please leave a comment!

I Need A Vacation

I'm starting to get that itch.  You know the one... when you want to break free from your mundane life and be extraordinary?  That's it.  I'm feeling like I need something more.  More "me time", more romance, more fun and excitement.

Being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life, and I don't want to diminish it's value, but I can't say that that's ALL that I am.  I try to fill up my life with other activities... MOPS, play-dates, visitors, trips to Miami, books, blogs, writing classes, volunteering... I can go on, but I'll spare you.  It's not enough.  I'm feeling BORED.

I am not the type of person who is all about "me time".  I never have.  I don't really like Girl's Night Out's, I'm not about to spend $40 on a mani/pedi, and I think massages hurt.  Also, I'd rather spend my "me time" with my husband... "us time".  If I'm going to spend money, I'd rather spend it together and do something that fills up both our cups.  Unfortunately, "us time" is hard to come by.  We'd have to pre-plan, get a sitter and then figure out somewhere to go. Anywhere but Whole Foods or Chipotle PLEASE!  But we have to do something... and quickly too.  I'm getting stale and worn.  I need to be rejuvenated!

We NEVER take vacations.  Since we live in a different state than our family, our vacation time always consists of going back to see them.  This is NOT a vacation.  It is 2 ridiculously packed weeks filled with obligations and commitments.  (See this post).  The last vacation we took was our honeymoon... and that left a LOT to be desired.

Quick back story:  We went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon to an all inclusive hotel.  By day 2, I had developed some kind of food/water poisoning and spent the rest of our trip laying in bed (in the least sexy way) and in the bathroom.  I just couldn't wait to get back to the States.  It was the worst honeymoon in the history of honeymoons!

So, since our last (and only) vacation clearly sucked, I think we deserve to take a 2nd honeymoon... round 2!  Next year we celebrate our 5 year anniversary (already, i know!) and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if we could go on a romantic vacation... just the two of us.  Now, as a SAHM who makes very little money, and a family of 4 living on 1 income, this is much easier said than done.  But if we save for a WHOLE year... why not?!  And, I'm not asking to go to EUROPE (even though I'd love it)... just on a Caribbean cruise for 5 days.  I think this is TOTALLY doable.

I just feel like I need something to look forward to... even if it is a year away.  I can't handle feeling like all we have to deal with are responsibilities, obligations, commitments, bills, blah blah blah... it makes me feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is VERY far and VERY dim.  We need things to look forward to and be excited about.  If not, then life is just plain ol' boring.  And that's how I'm feeling lately... BORED.

This is where I'd like to be... is that too much to ask?

PS, readers.  Did you know that you could help me make a little extra cash so I can take this vacation?  Yeah, YOU!  I don't advertise on my blog for nothin'!  Do me a favor, and click a bit.  Thanks!

Artsy Fartsy

Music has always been my passion.  I've been singing since the time I could talk and joined my first chorus at age 4.  I had my first solo when I was 7 and immediately got the performance bug... I'd never be the same.  Throughout school, I was always referred to as "Nicole- the one who sings".  It didn't bother me at all... it was my pre-fame.  My favorite subjects were chorus and musical theatre... and I excelled at both.  

When high school was over, I decided to go on and study vocal performance in college.  My father said, "Nicole, think about it... this is a life long decision with life long repercussions.  Why don't you study business instead?"  "No Daddy, I can't... Singing is my passion and I'll only be happy doing it!" "Well, what are you going to do with it?  Teach?"  "Uh, no... PERFORM... I'm a PERFORMANCE major!"  

When college was finishing up, I began thinking of grad schools.  I had passed the first round of auditions for the Manhattan School of Music and flew there for the second round.  I got off the plane and within the hour, my voice was gone.  The cold weather does not suit me.  The more I thought and prayed about moving to New York and continuing to pursue my performance degree, the more I felt God pulling me in a different direction.  I was at a crossroads... move to New York or stay in a relationship with Mauricio... I couldn't have both.  

It's no surprise that I chose the latter.  I moved to Orlando and became what I said I would NEVER become... a teacher.  The ONLY reason I enjoyed teaching was because I was able to sing and create music.  Everything else about it sucked... the pay, the disciplining, the lack of support, the drama.  I did it for 4 years, but could not see myself doing it always. 

Now, after not working in a school for nearly 2 years in order to stay home and raise my babies, I really can't see myself going back.  I teach voice privately every afternoon, and I love doing that!  Everything about it rocks... the music, the students, the pay, the no need for disciplining, the support from my husband.  But I'm beginning to feel a shift coming on.  Of course I'm going to continue teaching privately, but I'm feeling the need to do something more. 

I've always loved to read.  And since I've started this blog, I've realized that I kinda love writing as well.  And I think I'm pretty good at it too!  In the past, I've considered writing a book, but it seems like such a massive endeavor that I'm completely stumped as to where I should begin.  So, I've decided to enroll in a Creative Writing online course through Clemson.  I know I wont be publishing a book anytime soon, but maybe it'll get my creative juices flowing and organized.  Who knows?  Maybe I will be a published author some day?  

So instead of being a "starving musician", I'll give being a "starving writer" a shot.  Why couldn't I have just gone into business like my dad suggested?  Oh yeah, because I would have died of suffocation! 

Growing in Wisdom

The most important job that God has ever given me is to be a mother.  But not just any mother.  I've been called to be a Godly mother who raises up Godly children to become Godly men.  Godly men who love Him above all things and lead their households in His ways, and in turn raise up more Godly children.  Isn't it a beautiful cycle?

This is a huge task that has a lot of responsibility and burden.  This is not an overnight miracle... it's something that we'll have to work on daily for the rest of our lives!   So I've been thinking and praying about how I might go about doing this.  And you know what God told me?  He said, "Know me first".

Ok, so I have to know God before I can teach Him... this makes sense.  But THAT TOO is a task that'll take daily work for the rest of my life!  I mean, you never say, "now I know you... done".  No, you're constantly knowing and learning knew things about someone... even your spouse!

I love Jesus and I know my heart belongs to Him... but I'm lazy.  With all the recreational reading I do, rarely do I pick up a Bible.  How do you get to know someone?  Spend time with them.  How do you get to know Jesus?  Spend time in His Word.  I need to spend time in His Word so that I might get to know Him more and become the Godly mother I was told to be.

I've begun a reading plan of the Psalms and Proverbs.  One chapter of each per day.  If I'm trying to gain wisdom and understanding to be a better parent, where better to begin but in Proverbs, which speaks wisdom at every page turn!  And the Psalms are like poetry that feeds my heart and pleases His ears.

I've only done it for 8 days, (so don't be too impressed yet), but I am going to make a real effort to make this a priority in my life.  I can't start trying to obtain wisdom and understanding when my babies are teenagers... it'll be too late then and my life will be a hott mess!  I have to start now.

My prayer is that God engraves his truths and wisdom on my heart so that I might remember to apply it  always.

I downloaded this app onto my iphone (not the BB) and it's helping me keep track of what I've read and how far I have to go.  It has a bunch of different reading plans and cool things like notes and bookmarks that can be private or shared.  It also links up with Facebook and Twitter.  Making it easy to read wherever I am... and hard to find an excuse not to!

*Oh and by the way, if you would like to leave a comment but don't know how, there's a little button on the top of this post, next to labels that says "comment".  Click there and the comment box will appear.  This new formats a bit different.  Thanks for reading and leaving a comment! *

Preschool

Ok, let me start by saying that every time I say the word "preschool", I wanna bust out singing Sesame Street's "Preschool Musical".  If you have NO IDEA the awesomeness and cleverness that is Sesame Street, click here and then come back to read the rest of this post.
^^ That was random... Now to the point.

I'm beginning to look into preschool options for next fall.  Marco will be turning 2 in June and I would like him to get into a school-like, structured environment.  Yes, we're on a schedule at home, but it wont be the same.  First of all, he'll learn how to really interact with other children.  Second, he'll learn to obey someone other than Mama and Papai.  Third, he'll learn to sit for longer stretches of time and be more focused on simple tasks.

As you may have read, Marco is a very rambunctious and not-always-nice boy.  He plays rough and can sometimes be a bully.  I believe that Marco needs to be trained and tamed... and hopefully putting him in a school will help do that.

I'm also hoping that with Marco in school twice a week, I'll be able to dedicate just a bit more time to Jonas.  I'll be able to do things with him one-on-one that I wouldn't have been able to do before.  I intend on taking him to HIS age appropriate library classes and maybe even finding a playgroup with babies his age.

We are looking into Christian schools, mostly ones affiliated with a church.  We are interested in putting him in 2 days a week for half days.  So far, I've found 5 that have sparked my interest and I'll be visiting them and taking tours over the next few weeks.  I very much want him to be in a school environment that maintains a schedule and teaches things like colors, numbers, letters, etc.  I am not interested in having him go to a day care that allows for free play all day.  If we are going to be spending money, I want him to be in a Christian learning environment.

Throughout this process, I have such a hodge-podge of emotions swirling around.  I'm scared to let him go, but ready to see him advance.  I'm anxious to find the right place.  I'm nervous that there wont be any space at "the one".  I'm excited to see him all dressed up (book bag, lunch box, sneakers) and ready to go.  I'm happy that he's becoming such a "big boy".

So, Moms who have been there... any advice?
Greenville friends, any recommendations?

Pooped

The conversations and worries of a mother are like no other.  Normal people don't stress about the same things we do... not even dads worry the same way moms do.  This week, my worry (and topic of conversation):  POOP.  Yes, a mom will stay up at night worrying, call the doctors office and talk to anyone else that will listen about these things.  Spit up- how much is too much?  Diaper rash- where is it located exactly, does it hurt and what remedies should we use?  Boogers- what color and consistency?  And POOP.

As this is my second round, I completely expected Jonas to be a lot like Marco.  I thought it was normal for a baby to poop after each feeding.  In fact, sometimes Marco would poop in the middle of his feeding and then again at the end of it!  Even now, at 16 months, he poops AT LEAST twice a day!  He's a real pooper- (but definitely not a party-pooper)!

Since I didn't have complete access to Jonas for the first 28 days of his life (he was in the NICU), I wasn't aware of his bowel movements or regularity.  Apparently, he's not much of a pooper.  Then when I brought him home, he'd go once, maaaaybe twice a day.  But then, he stopped going.  He went on Friday, and then not again.  I started to worry... of course!

The weekend went by, nothing.  On Monday, I called the doctor and a nurse told me to put Karo syrup in his milk and if we had no results in 48 hours, to come in.  Well, we began giving him the syrup, but he was spitting up so much that we stopped.  I was thinking, if we have nothing by Wednesday, I'm going to the doctor.

Then, something great happened.  Tuesday night, 11pm.  HE POOPED!  Poor baby was struggling so much... every time he pushed, milk would shoot out of his nose!  It was kinda funny, and sad at the same time.   I was so excited, I texted my friend, "WE HAVE POOP!"  And guess what... she was excited for me too!

I don't know if anyone cares or is grossed out by this topic.  I'm sure people will "un-follow" my blog... please don't... I only have 14 followers!  But, it's been on my mind rather consistently and I thought I'd share.  If my blog is anything, it is an honest portrayal of my life as a mother... so there!

Sensitize Me

I was mindlessly listening to the radio today, when I was shocked awake!  I typically do not like top 40 music, but Marco loves to dance to it... he's in a hip-hop dance phase... yes, at 1 year old! LOL.  So, I pump up the music in the car and he dances along.  Most of it does not bother me, but the song I heard today was shocking.
It was the Eminem song featuring Rihanna... Love the Way You Lie.  Ok, so the hook is catchy and singable... then I usually tune out the rap part.  Today, I happened to catch a lovely line or two.  Eminem says "And if she ever tries to F with me again, I'm gonna tie her to the bed and set the house on fire", followed by Rihanna's beautiful voice singing the chorus.
Ummmm, did I hear that right?!  Are you serious?!  How in the WORLD is this ok?  I mean, does anyone even do a double take or think about what he said?!
If you want to dish out the $15 to buy Eminem's RESTRICTED CD, or even just the $1 to download the single, that's your choice.  BUT I do not feel that THIS quality material should be broadcasted on the PUBLIC radio at ALL hours of the day and night.  I'd even be a little more forgiving if it was only played past 8pm.  But that is not the case.  In fact, the same exact song was playing when I got out of the car at 10:30 AND when I returned to my car at about 1:30.  So, how many times a day are we being exposed to this material?
Oh, I also love the way they block out the F word, to make in "censored".  That is NOT censoring!  In fact, I'd rather my child hear the F word than hear the REST of the line!  Not only that, but we STILL can HEAR the Fffff part of the word, so it's not like we have ANY question as to which word it is!  I am honestly appalled and disgusted by the lack of censoring.
We are being desensitized every single minute of the day... with movies, tv, music, internet, advertisements and more.  And it's targeting so many evils of this world... sex, violence, hatred, drugs and alcohol.  Why is it that the evils are the ones that get the most exposure?  This is why so many teens are not only diving head first into these things, but they also think it's so cool to do so.  When I was a kid, it wasn't till high school, but now, it's 6th graders, and younger!
Needless to say, I will not be supporting that radio station any longer.  That's the only thing I can do to protect my child's innocent ears.  Yes, he's only 1, but how long will it be before he begins catching little things?  Will I even notice when he does?
A friend of mine posted on FB that her niece was singing "I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad", and how cute it was!  Sure, it's kinda cute.  But really... it's not.  It's not cute for a 3 year old to be singing about money and saying "freakin'".  It's already putting these evils into their hands and into their heads and into their hearts.  Then the desires of their hearts become the things they see and hear about... money, sex, etc.
We need to protect our children... and ourselves!  I don't ever want to think that what I heard was "normal".  I ALWAYS want to be offended and taken aback.  I should ALWAYS say "wait, that's not right" when I hear something that isn't.  It's important that if we want our children to be a certain way, that WE are also that way.  "Do as I say, not as I do" doesn't work too well.  So I say, I do not want to be DEsensitized... help me stay "sensitized"!

Gender Predictions

I'm starting to feel quite anxious.  On next Friday, July 9, we will learn the sex of our new baby!  I'm so excited and I have no real "predictions".

With Marco, I was sure he was a girl... I just had a gut feeling.  Goes to show you how much I can trust my gut!  I was so surprised when they told me it was a boy... I needed them to double check.  In my mind he was a girl... 100%.  I even bought a doll, and when people would give me boy things I'd immediately want to return them.  I was so confident that it was going to be a girl.  When I found out he was in fact ALL boy, it took me a few hours to get used to the idea.  Not that I wasn't thrilled to be having a boy, but I had to wrap my head around it.  How could I have been so absolutely wrong?!  Within a few days we got really cozy with the idea of having a boy and once we picked out his name, there was no turning back.  We fell in love with him... HARD!

So, here we go again.  This time, I've tried my best to ignore my "gut", since it's so unreliable.  This pregnancy is somewhat different from Marco's, so that makes me automatically think GIRL.  But, at the same time, do I expect to have the exact same experience as I did the first time?  That's unrealistic!  Every pregnancy is different.  I am carrying higher than I did with Marco, but it's still all round belly.  With Marco, the belly started low, and I was in maternity pants at 13 weeks.  With this one, the belly starts above my belt, so here I am at 18 weeks and still wearing my normal jeans... with a belt... buckled on the tightest loop!  That makes me think that maybe it's a girl too... however, I've heard that girls are more spread out from side to side, and I am not.  I have a defined round belly, all in front.

A question everyone asks... What do you WANT it to be?  Of course we want it to be healthy, and deep down it doesn't matter what it is, but I'll answer the question, without the PC response.  We would love love LOVE to have another boy; mainly for Marco's sake.  IF I make it to my due date (and that is a BIG "if"), Marco will only be 17 months old.  It would be so wonderful for him to have a little brother, so close in age, so they can be really tight.  Of course he can be tight with a girl sibling, but honestly, it's not the same as same sex siblings.  Also, we're super cheap (lol) and have saved all of Marco's clothes and gear and would love to reuse it.

Now here's the thing, if we have another boy, then I need to get used to the idea that we may NEVER have a girl.  Am I, as a mother, ok with only having boys and never experiencing the mother/daughter bond?  Never shopping for training bras, never teaching her about her body, or talking about boys, or picking out her wedding dress, or being there when she has her babies.  Am I ok with the fact that the closest mother/daughter bond I'll have is with my daughter-in-laws?  And then of course, I'll be the intruding MOTHER-IN-LAW!! That's definitely something I'm going to have to be ok with, since it is still undetermined whether or not we will have another child after this one.

It's undetermined whether we'll have a third.  I think that if this one is a boy, we may keep the doors open because of my previous statements.  However, there is no guarantee that our third will be a girl, and THEN what?!  Four certainly is NOT an option!  Then again, if this one is a girl, we may close up shop for good.  Two versus three.  I think they're vastly different.  With two, you're playing man to man defense... with three, you're outnumbered.  With two, you can fit in a compact car... with three, you're driving a mini-van.  With two, you're ok in a 3 bedroom home... with three, you're way too tight.  The jury's still out as to what we're going to do.  I tell everyone, we'll see how it goes with two.  In any case, IF we choose to have a third, it wont be as close as Marco and #2 are.  I'm going to get an IUD so we have a good 3-5 years to put this on the back burner and think about it a bit more.  There's no rush.

Next Friday, our futures will be just a little more in shape and focused.  I'm so eager, anxious and excited to know what kind of baby will be joining us for the rest of our lives!  We know, either way, boy or girl, God's blessing have been vast and we pray that He continues to guide us in every decision we make.