A (very) Short Story

This is a short story I wrote about a year and a half ago, that I completely forgot about, but stumbled upon today and found it to be quite comical and charming... so I decided to share it.  Hope you enjoy!

*****
Two bananas hang side by side in their hammock in my kitchen.  We think nothing of it.  Day by day, we pass these bananas and go about our normal lives, not ever thinking that perhaps they are living a life as well...

The first banana, Mr. Plantain, leans in close to his wife just to smell her.  He says, "It's a beautiful day today, isn't it mi amor?" to which she sourly replies, "It would be if we weren't in this stinky kitchen".  Mrs. Plantain longs for the days when she was swinging from her banana tree in the jungles of the Dominican Republic.

"Remember the days when we were young and free?", Mrs. Plantain asks her husband.  "I could hear the children playing below and smell the cafe brewing below as we swayed to the rhythmic music of bongos and guitaras.  Oh, those were the days when I was most happy".  Mr. Plantain leaned in even closer to his wife, whom he loved so dearly and whispered, "Mi vida, try to find some joy in our new life.  It wont be long now".

They cuddled up to one another and tried their best to be optimistic.  They knew the end was near.  It could be as close as lunch time.  They watched in fear as I sat my toddler in his high chair and asked, "Do you want a banana?  Ba-na-na?"

Mrs. Plantain turned her ugliest shade of brown, while Mr. Plantain held on tightly.  I plucked the least brown banana from it's holder and said, "I'll mash the for breakfast tomorrow morning".

Mr. Plantain cried out to his wife, "I'll see you on the other side, querida!  Remember our days in La Dominicana and remember I love you!"

He was heroic to the very end.

Miami Girl

I grew up in Miami.  I wasn't born here, but I've lived here since I was just 4 years old.  I went to school here my entire life and even completed college at the local university while still living at my mom's house.

I didn't leave till I was 22, where I moved to Orlando to begin my "adult life" as a "working woman", teaching K-8 music.  After living in Orlando for 3.5 years, we moved far away to the "real South"... Greenville SC.  We lived there for another 2.5 years before coming back to Miami to stay.

I've always considered myself a "Miami Girl".  No, I'm not always wearing a bikini, drinking mojitos and laying out on the sand.  But living here is different than living anywhere else.  The lifestyle is different.  The expectations are different.  The girls are prettier, the guys are more fit.  Status is everything.  Even the way "Miami Girls" TALK is different.

Don't believe me?  Watch this hilarious video which PERFECTLY displays "Miami Girl" talk and accent.  I mean, these people hit the nail right on the head.

I laughed my butt off watching that video... because it is NOT an exaggeration.  It is perfection.  And it's not just the things the SAY, but the way they say IT.

Can you hear it?  The accent?  The sing-songy way of speaking?

Maybe you need to watch the second video to really understand what I'm talking about:

I'm not making fun here... I'm just stating fact.  And for those of you who knew me from Orlando or South Carolina, the answer is yes.  When I lived here, I absolutely talked like that!  But, we don't even REALIZE we're doing it... that's the catch.  It's just the city's accent.

So what made me think of this?  I was talking to an old high school friend, Vanessa (who's a beautiful fashion blogger).  We haven't talked on the phone in over 10 years.  We keep in contact with FB, Instagram, Twitter and our Blogs, but we haven't TALKED in a really long time.  Right when she heard my voice she said, "Nicole?  Your voice sounds so weird... you sound like you're an American".

I thought this was so funny.  Apparently, without thinking of it or trying, I have lost my "Miami Girl" accent.  I guess that's what 6 years away from Miami will do to you.

So Random Saturday

Saturday again, people.  Yay!

1.  This morning, I'm actually being very productive.  I was asked to substitute at work today, so I have a full day! I'm teaching lessons from 9-2:30!  Driving to work today was NOT a waste of time and money, can you believe it?!  So happy!

2.  Yesterday I booked a vacation... on a whim.  My in-laws are part of the Wyndham resort time share program and they are ALWAYS calling.  Usually I don't answer, but yesterday, for whatever reason, I did.  They were offering a vacation, with guests at an incredible price.  Yes, we have to sit through a session, but Mauricio can say "no" to anyone when it comes to money.  Here's what we got... get ready to die.  4 days/3 nights, 2 rooms, 4 Disney park tickets and a $50 American Express gift card... all for... wait for it... $200.  Did you get that?!  $200 for ALL of that!  And the resort?  Ahhh-mazing.  It's a 5 star, brand spankin' new resort.  The Wyndham Grand at Bonnet Creek.  I'm dying.  Dying.  I Can.Not.Wait.

3.  My amazingly talented cousin is a woman of all trades.  She has a yummy skin product line called Skin Candy.  All her products are completely 100% natural and organic... and delicious.  For Valentines Day, she's promoting these heart shaped soaps that smell like cinnamon and clove.  Best part?  A portion of the proceeds go to the Children's Cancer Research Organization! It's only $5 for 3 soaps.  Great deal, great price, great product!  Buy it!

4.  I'm reading Under the Dome by Stephen King.  And it's long.  Really long.  Like over 1000 pages, long.  I'm not sure if I want to read it.  It's uncomfortable to hold.  And I think I'm going to fall behind on my challenge if I take the time to read this thing.  Even though it's the length of 3 books, it only counts as 1.  Then one of my booky friends told me she read it and only gave it 3 stars... so now I don't know if it's worth it.  Have you read it?  What are your thoughts?

5.  2012 is going to be a BIG BABY year!  So many pregnant women, OMG.  Already, 4 people I'm close to are pregnant... not to mention all the blog mama's I "know" and acquaintances.  This is the year, people.  All the cool kids are doing it... literally.  haha.  And me?  So happy to hold everyone else's newborns... and hand them back.

6.  I went to the dentist this week for the first time in a long time.  I'm embarrassed by how long it's been... ahem.2years.ahem.  And, I also got Mauricio to go!  If it's been long for me, you don't even want to KNOW how long it's been for him.  I'll reserve his privacy and not tell you.  And I'm happy to report that we both have shining, clean and healthy teeth.  Yay!

7.  My kids break everything.  Recently they've broken the xbox... which will cost at LEAST $60 to repair.  How did they break it?  Turning it on and off and opening and closing the tray.  Jonas is hypnotized by the green light... "must...touch...it".  Well, now... broken.  2 xbox remotes are also broken... chewed straight through.  An xbox cable and a cable for the laptop have also been chewed on and now have exposed wires.  A wireless mouse has been dropped repeatedly and now does not click.  And the list can go on... but I'll stop there.  Moral of the story?  My kids need to keep their grimy hands off our stuff AND we need to learn how to put our stuff up.  

8.  I'm participating in the February Photo a Day challenge.  Super fun!  If you're not participating, you should.  I post my pics to FB, twitter (@NicoleTableFor4) and instagram (Nicavesani).  I'll also be updating my blog with the pictures every 10 days or so.  Follow me and play along!  

Until next Saturday... have a great weekend! Peace.

So Random Saturday

Here we are again, guys.  It's Saturday!  Yay!  And time for me to burden you with all of the random thoughts that are too incoherent to make entire posts about... ready? ok!

1.  Today marks a whole month that I've been working!  Awesome, right?  Well... not so much.  I've been working every Saturday for a half hour.  Yep, that's it.  Now, would YOU take a job if they told you it would only be for half an hour, one day a week... no? Didn't think so.  But, that's the way building up a music studio is... slow and steady.  I only had ONE student.  So, although it would take me over an half hour to get there, a half hour to get home, and I was only actually WORKING for a half hour, I did it.  Because that's how it works.  Be committed, be consistant, be reliable, and "if you build it, they will come".  So today, I actually got ANOTHER student!  Yay!  Now, I'll be working for ONE hour a week! The worst part is that if I get the hankering for a Starbucks on my way home, I've pretty much just spent the entire profit of what I just made.  Oh, geez.  I just gotta remind myself, it's not about the Benjamins.

2.  Yesterday we decided to go check out a new church.  The church is far... really far... like 50 miles, far.  But Mau has been listening to this pastor's sermons for a few years now and has always wanted to go, so we figured, why not?  We don't really care that it's far... we'd be willing to make the drive.  After all, the disciples walked across continents for the sake of the gospel... what's 50 miles while sitting in my air conditioned car?  But 50 miles each way with two kids... oh boy.  We had a plan though.  I was going to pack up the kids and meet Mau at work, which is about 1/3 of the way there.  Then we'd drive up together, have dinner, attend the service, drive back to Mau's car and drive home separately.  Good plan?  All was in place.  I loaded the kids into the car at 4:40 and we were at Mau's job by 5:30.  But Mau got caught up doing some last minute stuff and didn't actually leave the office til almost 6!  By then we only had 1 hour and our drive would be at least 45 minutes AND we had to eat!  As we pulled onto the expressway, which is anything but express, we realized it wasn't going to happen.  We were then stuck in traffic for another hour just getting back to Mau's job... which we had just left.  We ordered a pizza on the way home and called it all off.  All in all, we were in the car from 4:40-8:00 going a whole lot of nowhere.  Moral of the story?  Miami traffic SUCKS!

3.  I'm getting fat.  Since moving here in August, I have NO LIE, gained 30 pounds.  Granted, 30 pounds I desperately needed, but STILL.  I'm ready to stop gaining now.  The thing is that living here... in my in-laws house... is horrible.  My sweet MIL buys all the junk foods I love.  And guys, I am a real junk food junkie.  I'm all about chips and cookies for lunch and cake for breakfast.  When we lived in Greenville, we didn't have ANY junk food in the house because we were on such a strict budget that we were just buying the necessities.  While we still only buy the necessities, my MIL now buys the extras.  And I have NO self control.  Also, in Greenville, I lived in a 3 story house and my butt was walking up and down the stairs all day long... not here though.  Here I walk my butt from my bed to the couch and back again.  Food increase+exercise decrease = fatty. 

4.  Everyone keeps saying that they can't believe January is almost over... but I feel like this month has completely dragged.  Has anyone noticed this month had FIVE weeks?  I'm just anxious because we're trying to stay within a really tight budget, and as the days get closer to the end of the month, our budget numbers are getting closer to their max... and some have even overflowed.  We experienced more month than money this month.  We each have an allowance of $100 a month to spend on miscellaneous stuff... like lunches, starbucks, stamps, etc.  So far this month, I've spent $71.84!  Sounds ok, right?  But it's stressing me out!!!  I can not wait to be done with this month so my allowance goes back up to $100 and I can try again.  I downloaded This App to help me keep track of every penny.  

5.  Jonas is 16 months today... what the whhhhaaaat?!  Fond over his cuteness.  Such an angelic picture... be not fooled. 

That's all for this weeks episode of So Random Saturday!  Thanks for stopping by and hope you have a fabulous weekend!  Ciao. 

On this day in 2011:  Stroller Swagger

So Random Saturday

Seems like a good day to let out a few randoms...

1.  I start this post in the dark, on my phone. It's 5:45 am and Jonas woke up about an hour ago crying in his sleep. Now I can't get back to sleep because my brain won't shut down... So here I am... Writing. (if only it was productive).


2.  Already planning a wicked awesome father's day present for my hubs. What? Too early? It's only 6 months away... And if I plan on getting creative I'm gonna need time, people. I have very few crafty bones in my body, so if I'm gonna do this thing right, I need a little room for error- and fixing. I get my inspiration from pinterest (of course). I can't say any more because Mau is a sneaky one but if you want the inside scoop you'll have to comment or email. Sqweee!!

3.  I have been stuck reading the same book for a blog review for 3 weeks now. THREE weeks! It's totally throwing off my reading groove and slowing down my plan. If I plan on reading 40 books this year, I can't be stuck on the same one for this long. This book is simply draaaaaaging and I'm annoyed.

this is not me, by the way.

4.  Today we hit up the Chocolate Festival at the Fairchild Tropical Gardens. And I plan to get wasted... On chocolate. Yes sir.

5.  Tonight I will go on a "proper" date. Excited. We're going to leave the kids with the in-laws early. We'll be attending a concert at my job, a faculty recital, and then having some dinner at the Grove. Yay!

just a joke...

6.  And speaking of said "faculty recital"... I'm not performing... This year. I joined too late to hop on board for this year. But next year? Oh, you know it... And I'm gonna let my DIVA out. She's been hiding for far too long!

7.  There's a new app that's rocking my world. When we lived in Greenville we attended this amazing church called NewSpring. The pastor, Perry Noble is so real and relatable. And he's really speaking the truth of Jesus. He convicted me in each message. Well now, they have developed an app that contains all his messages!!! You can either listen to them or watch them and they're all outstanding. I've been listening to his messages while cooking or driving alone and it's rocking my world. Loving it! Download it guys, you won't be sorry!

8.  Sometimes I call Marco "punk" or "punky". I don't mean to call him "punk"... I'm just shortening "pumpkin" and since it's too difficult to say "pumpk", it comes out sounding wrong. People give me faces.

this is not my child...

9.  Jonas squeals every time Marco gets near him or touches him or lays on top of him. That's his self defense mechanism... I get it. But do you know how frustrating it is to hear the squealing all day long? 8/10 times he's totally over reacting. It causes me two reactions. First, I want to beat on Marco a bit... Just sayin'. Leave your brother ALONE!! And second, it makes me want to tell Jonas to toughen up! Don't be such a wimp! Gosh!  But I know, it's just brotherly love.

10.  Thats all for today. Hope you all have a happy weekend!!!

I Gonna Go To Publix

Marco loves Publix.

For those of you who are unaware, Publix is a supermarket located in the South East.  And it's pretty great.  They're tag line is "where shopping is a pleasure"... and really, it IS a pleasure, most of the time.

Marco thinks it's a pleasure ALL of the time, especially since they give kids a complementary cookie.  He knows this... and exploits it.  He asks everyday if we can go to "Puglits" and when we pull into the parking lot, he screams, "See it?!  Mama, see it?!  It's Puglits... PUGLITS!"

He made up this song to express his love and devotion for Publix.  And I think it's adorable.
Enjoy.

A Handmade Birthday Exchange

Today is my bestie, Jen's birthday. Happy birthday Jen!!! She is exactly 9 days younger than me, our maiden names are almost exact and even our social security numbers are nearly matching! It was meant to be... We'll be friends forever.

To celebrate our birthdays this year, we decided to make it a challenge. We could only spend $10 and it had to e a gift from Etsy.

Sounds easy? Not until you actually begin sorting through Etsy. There is soooo much stuff that it's completely overwhelming. Unless you know what you want, it's hopeless. And even if you know what you want, there's so much to choose from that it takes hours to narrow down your options.

It was fun.

Jennifer is a great cook... She wanted to start a cooking blog but hasn't gotten around to it yet. (I'm waiting!). And she's also a wonderful hostess. She has a small cupcake hobby/business on the side called "the Cupcake Boutique". So I thought thy the perfect gift for her would be... An apron.

My search began. I looked at EVERY Etsy store that sold aprons. What I discovered was that full sized aprons were usually $30 and up. Remember we had a $10 limit. So my search was narrowed down again to half aprons.

I looked and looked but everything $10 and under was either ugly, flimsy or cheap looking. I kept on looking and finally I found it! The pattern, adorable. The quality, thick. The price, perfect... $10 even. I contacted the seller and got one on the way immediately.

The shop is called Aprons by Monica and it's a new and small shop.  She's got lots of cute stuff and they're all reasonably priced.  This is the one I bought for Jen.

I think she loved it...

Jen bought me a beautiful pair of music note hair pins, but I don't know which store she got it from.

It was a Happy Etsy Birthday to us!

Meet My New Love

My brand new beautiful shiny iPhone 4S.  I'm in love.

Guys, this phone is rocking my world.  It is simply AHHHH-mazing.

Siri is da bomb... she knows all, does all and is an all around snazzy lady.  She knows exactly how I feel about her too.  I tell her often.  She's like my very own bitch, ahem, assistant.  I like having an assistant.

It's also wicked fast.  So fast it doesn't give my eyes a chance to adjust to the new activity.  Before this, I had the iPhone 3.  When I first got it, I thought I knew what love was... but now I really know.  Not that my 3 was bad... it served me well for 2 years.  But after a while it just grew to be slow and tired.  It took so long that I wouldn't even bother using certain apps.  Needless to say, the 4s kicks the 3's butt.

You guys know, I jest.  I am not in loooooove with a material object.  But seriously... it's pretty stinkin' awesome.  Just sayin'.

Now tell me, what are some of the "must have apps" I need to download?

Children's TV is a Disgrace!

Back in 2006 when Mau and I got engaged, we cut off our cable in an effort to save money for the wedding... and we never turned it back on.  We got used to watching only a few channels and taking advantage of Netflix and Hulu.  When we had our kids, we talked about possibly turning it back on for the kids' programming, but decided to see if we could survive without it... and guess what?  We did.

Now that we're living with the in-laws, we have access to their Dish and the many, many, MANY channels that come with it.  Honestly, it's rather overwhelming.  But along with that, now we have multiple children's programming channels.  While we used to only watch PBS, now we have Disney Jr, Nick Jr and Cartoon Network to choose from as well.  And you know what I've discovered?  They're all crap.  What a disgrace!  Let's evaluate, shall we? (For the sake of not writing a thesis on the subject, I'll give you an abridged version... just a few programs per network).

Disney Junior

Jake and the Never Land Pirates.  This show, although cute, has NO purpose.  First off, pirates?  Really?  We're gonna idolize PIRATES to PRE-schoolers?  For the LOVE!  Secondly, where are these "pirate kids"' parents?  The only good thing I have to say about this show is that the band disney has hired to do the music is pretty cool.  I dig them.  But, really?  On Monday they had a marathon... holy cow!

Anyone want to clarify for me WHAT THE HECK this is?  Cars that are animals?  I really don't get it.

This is the only show I'll tolerate from Disney Jr.  It's hard to tell your toddler that Mickey Mouse is a disgrace.  He's famous, for cryin' out loud!  And, we went to see him... in person... in June, so Marco's got a "relationship" with him.  But, in MY opinion... that show is pretty bad too.  They "try" to teach... but not very hard.  And it's not consistant.  Which is a real shame.



Nick Jr. 

Did you all read the article about how watching this show has actually proven to decrease test scores in 4 year olds?  If not, check it out here.  If this is not a testament to what a disgrace this show is, then I don't know what is.  I know of some people who truly enjoyed this program... but they were in college... and they were high.  Go figures.  This is not a show for children.  And, Nick Jr. doesn't seem to see a problem in playing it back-to-back-to-back for hours on end. Really?!  This is quite possible the most obnoxious show on television.

Can we talk for a second about these two train wrecks?  And children LOVE them.  Not my children... thank you Jesus!  First off, it's been proven that teaching "Spanglish" as Dora and Diego do is not an effective way of teaching language.  It would be way more beneficial for these shows to be entirely in Spanish... and yes, the kids will watch it and learn.  We don't give kids enough credit, ya know!  They're smart... if we let them be!  And, can this show be more annoying?  I want to throw something at the TV when they start screaming, "say it louder... LOUDER... LOUDER!!!"  OMG... SHUT UP!!!

Have you seen this show?  It's a little odd.  First off, the proportions are all off.  The goldfish are the size of whales.  I just don't get it.  And, the scenery is like outside... only, they're underwater.  Like, there are trees, the sky, airplanes, cars, etc... but they're in the ocean.  WHY?  Why wouldn't they just make them kids... not mermaids?  I'm baffled.




Yo Gabba Gabba is the only show we watch from Nick... and we watch it on Netflix.  I also think it's a waste of time.  It's annoying as hell.  BUT, we kinda dig the music.  It's really modern and up to date, which is hard to find in kids shows.  We limit the amount of Gabba we allow too.  I mean, for cryin' out loud, they have a kid playing the recorder with her nose!  We have to limit it.


How about all the commercials on Nick?  What the heck!?  That's the last thing I want my kid to see.  At least Disney doesn't have commercials... they're definitely one up from Nick.

Now I could go on and talk about Cartoon Network as well, but I wont.  It's not even worth the time it'll take me to find pictures and write it up.  This network is a huge disgrace and I don't think I'll EVER allow my kids to watch it.  Every show makes kids out to be smart asses and parents are idiots.  What a shame... encouraging little defiant monsters.

PBS
I can honestly tell you that this is the ONLY channel that has quality programming for hours on end.  I don't plan on planting my kids in front of the TV for hours on end, but if you're gonna have "one of those days", at least you know there's an option that's not going to fill their heads with garbage.  Don't get me wrong... not all PBS shows are great.  I think Clifford is crap as well as Caillou.  But, eh, it's better than the alternatives.  Let me share with you my faves!

Super Why is awesome.  Do you think I sat with Marco and drilled with him all his letters?  Ok, a little... but he got A LOT of it from this show.  They teach the alphabet, rhyming words, spelling and reading skills.  Hello... who said learning can't be fun AND educational.

A classic.  I remember watching it when I was a kid... and it's still on, still relevant, still cool.  It's not the same Sesame Street we used to watch... no no no... there are NEW seasons, with modern music, new cameos from current actors and singers and things that our 21st century kiddos "get".  This show does such a great job of staying current and relevant.  It's rare to find a show that has lasted so long and stayed so popular... especially for kids.

Word World is a great show.  So clever too. They have some great artists.  Everything in the show has the word built into it.  Like, the dog's body is made with the letters D-O-G.  Not only do they teach reading and letter skills, but they also have themes on friendship, sharing and kindness.  It's also silly and cute.  And the shows are only 15 minutes long, so they aren't too tedious... perfect for toddlers!


So, in order to not make this any longer than it already is... I know, it's already long enough, I'll leave you with this.  Consider what your kids are watching.  In my opinion, it's unrealistic to implement a "no tv" rule unless you and your family abide by it as well.  I mean, if kids are gonna watch TV (and you know they are), then make the most out of it.  Don't waste your time with junk that has no purpose other than being entertaining... they'll have plenty of time for that later.

They'll Never Know

On Saturday we had an AWESOME birthday party for my little baby Jonas.  He'll be turning 1 on the 28th but this was literally the only weekend we could do it, so there you have it.  Don't worry, the party will get it's own post with tons of pics... and credit where credit is due because you KNOW I didn't do it all by myself!


We decided not to open the presents at the party.  It was getting late and people were still hanging around... the kids were getting tired and we didn't want to have to open everything up.  Plus, do people really like to watch other people open gifts?  I don't really.  Anyway, we decided to open the gifts, just me and Mau, once the kids were asleep.  Yes, we stole their opportunity to open presents... but they'll never know.  That's an advantage to having little ones.

We love getting clothes.  We still have all of Marco's clothes for Jonas, but some of it is not in season and it's always fun having new things to dress him up with.  We love books.  Having new books is awesome and we wear our books out.  What we don't love so much are toys.  I know kids need toys, and I wont deprive them, but I will be selective.  Basically, any toy that doesn't fit into the toy chest is pretty much out... unless it's rideable or awesome.  Toys with lots of parts are generally out as well... except blocks and some chunky legos that are put back into their containers after each use.  We want our house to look organized... not like a toy store threw up in it.  We are anti-play rooms too, by the way.

So we looked through the toys that we got and decided to try and return most of them in order to buy something we really need and might not really be able to afford... Jonas' new car seat.  They'll never know we returned their fun toys to save us some green and buy something we really need.  We figure, they have a lot of toys anyway... and what do they usually want to play with?  Balls, cars, blocks, paper towel rolls, empty 2 liters, and balloons.  Really, expensive toys are over rated.

Don't get me wrong here, I truly appreciate the thoughtfulness of each present... and I don't want to seem ungrateful.  And, I'm not returning their toys to by Mama a new dress, (although it's been tempting).  Just, with 2 birthdays and Christmas and a BIG family, the toy situation can become overwhelming and all consuming.  We also donate the toys that the kids are no longer playing with to make room for new stuff and purge.  I hope that eventually this will teach them that less is more and that we need to pass on our blessings to those less fortunate.

So anyway, we had 3 VTech toys, a $50 gift card to Target and a $20 bill that someone gave us in a card.  We went to Target, returned the toys and got this car seat for... wait for it... $1.73 out of our pockets!  WHAT?!

I don't feel bad about our decision... actually I'm elated.  We did a practical thing and got something we really need.  Our kids are still happy and not at all deprived.  And besides, they'll never know the difference anyway.  

And for the record, we're not TOTALLY Mr. Scrooge and Mrs. Grinch... they did get to keep 3 toys to add to their collection. 

Smokey the Pool Lady

You know, I don't know how these things happen to me, but they do and you know me, I can't keep my trap shut.  I have a REALLY big bark... but no bite at all.

Today we joined Carol, her kids and Beth with her son at the pool for our final pool play date.  All was going well... as well as can be expected with 6 kids and 3 adults.  We decide to take a break from the deep pool and head over to the baby pool for a bit.  While in the baby pool, we noticed these 2 women smoking right outside the gate.  The wind was blowing in such a way that the smoke was coming directly our way.  So, I comment to Carol, "Ugh, I hate the smell of smoke".  That's it.  That was my comment.  The lady rushed over to the gate and proceded to rip us a new one.

Back story:  This was not Carol's first encounter with Smokey.  Apparently, a few weeks back, Carol informed Smokey that there was no smoking at or in the pool.  On this day, she was smoking INSIDE the pool.  Come on, that's common sense!

So, I guess my simple comment threw her over the edge.  Smokey told us that she was entitled to smoke outside the gate, and where would I have her stand instead?  Well, she asked, so I told her.  I told her I'd like her to stand a little further down so I didn't have to smell her stench.  To which she replied, too bad.  If she didn't like my answer, she shouldn't have asked.  Just as she's entitled to smoke outside the gate, I am entitled to say WHATEVER I want about her stinky smoke.

She finishes her cigarette and comes over to us for another bantering.  She tells us that we need to shut our mouths and that we are LUCKY our kids were with us or else.  She was even so kind as to invite Carol out to the parking lot to settle it like "big girls".  Ha!  She wanted to fight... now that's Klassy!

Well, you want to know the cherry on top?  She called the COPS!  Yep, she really did!  We were having our lunch under the pavilion when we see her chatting with an officer.  Did she think we were going to get in trouble for saying something about her smoking... is she delusional?!  The officer comes up to us and hears "our side" which is no big deal.  Carol said that the only thing that she was upset about was Smokey threatening her and calling her out.  Well, as expected, and as stated in our Good Ol' American Constitution, anyone can say anything they want.  DUH!

So in the end, nothing happened.  The cop went back to serving and protecting against REAL crime, and ol' Smokey went back to getting her fierce tan on... she's 50 by the way, yuck.

Now, let me shamelessly admit something before the world of bloggers... I am prejudice against smokers... and I.Don't.Care.One.Bit.  I usually give smokers a bad face while walking past them.  I cough loudly on purpose.  I say loud comments about how stinky it is.  Shameless.  First of all, I don't think that I or my children should have to endure hazardous chemicals because a STRANGER can't practice self control and is too selfish to smoke in the privacy of their own homes.  Heck yes, I think smoking in public should be finable and GOOD JOB, NYC for making it that way!  Smoking is hazardous to our health... as is 2nd hand smoke.  This is not an idea or a opinion... it's a FACT!  I have chronic lung disease and who knows what other ailments other people may have, and yet these self righteous smokers feel the need to cry about their "smokers rights".  Well, what about MY right to breathe clean, non-toxic air?  What about MY right to not expose my children to it?  Why should I have to leave if I'm not the one with the addiction.  Actually, I do have an addiction... to clean air.  

Ok, I'll step off my soap box now.  Whew.

Pathetic Excuse for a Girl

I have admitted it before, many times... I'm not a girly girl.  That doesn't mean I'm butch (I hope), but I'm just not into fashion, shopping, makeup, hair removal and the like.  This was all reiterated to me as I prepared for my date night on Friday.

I've never HAD to wear makeup before.  Growing up, I had fairly nice skin (for a teenager) and didn't need to layer on foundation, concealer and powder just to go to school.  As an adult, I tried to develop a makeup regimen for work, but inevitably it would only last about a week.  Thankfully, as a teacher, no one really cares if you're made up or not.  I literally only wore makeup to go out on weekends.  But now, as a wife and mother, going out is not what it used to be.  I'm not going to put on makeup for play dates, parks and Chipotle.  So, I reserve it for special occasions... this year I have probably put on makeup only 4 times... no lie.

It helps, or doesn't help, that my husband HATES makeup.  He doesn't want to kiss my face with powder on it.  He doesn't want to kiss my lips if I wear lipstick or even chapstick!  Sweetly, he says I look better without makeup on.  His eyes are kind to me.

Ok, back to my Friday night getting ready fiasco.  I pull out my makeup, which sits inside a bin under the sink, in a ziplock bag... that's my "make up case".  And as I begin to pull out what makeup I have, I start running an inventory.  Let's go over this, piece by piece:

Yes, that's right... this is my entire makeup collection... that's it.  I have 3 brushes, one of which is a blush brush, but I do not own blush.  Then we have my powder.  Does that look like the right color for me?  It's not.  I bought it when I was a senior in college (2005) and I was performing in an opera where I was a doll-like character and needed my face to be white with bright pink cheeks.  Now, I mainly use it as under eye concealer.  Next we have my collection of shadows.  The newest is the purple, bought in December, the green was bought in 2009, the browns in 2004 and the gold... wait for it... in 2002.  Then we've got my eyeliner and mascara... also old and dried out and clumpy.  And, all this make up is from CVS or Walgreens.  

How in the world do I work with this stuff?  Then, I'm not really skilled at how to put on makeup.  I do the best I can with the little knowledge I learned while in high school from my friend Candice.  Thanks, Candice, you taught me everything I know.  This is my one and only look:

Impressive, huh?  And don't even mention my eyebrows... I can't find my tweezers.  Real girly of me!  I refuse to get waxed.  I can push out a baby, have a c section and deal with RA on a daily basis... easy peasy... but ask me to get my eyebrows waxed and I have an anxiety attack.  I never learned the meaning of "pain is beauty".  

Truthfully, I only care that I don't have good makeup on the few occasions that I get dressed up to go out.  And, since it's so few and far between, I can't justify going out and spending hundreds of dollars on department store brands for just a few nights out a year.  However, I should throw out all the stuff that's over 2 years old and buy new ones... even if it's drug store brands.  

Here's my final look.  At least my dress was cute!

I Don't Know Why

I really love writing this blog.  I have found that it has not only been a way for me to keep a log and memory of all the cute, quirky or annoying things my kids do, but has also become a release and an escape.   I really ponder over the things I am going to share with you, make plans and have "back-up-posts" planned too.

After I post, I look back on my stats page to see what kind of response I'm getting.  I get so excited when I receive comments, and truly appreciate every single one.  I have personal little silly goals of getting more hits in each month than the last.  Something that really tickled me pink; my blog received over 1000 hits in one month (June)!  The only other time it has ever been that popular was when I blogged about Jonas' birth in October... and that's completely understandable.

I love looking at who is reading.  Did you know I have readers from around the world?!  That rocks!  This week alone, I've had hits from Slovenia (had to look that one up), Belgium (Maud?), Brazil (Oi, familia), and a few others across the ocean.

My mom is always warning me about the "weirdos" on the internet.  Ha!  I have only had positive experiences from writing this blog.  I have blog-met several people and have become interested in their lives and stories as well.  I am so comforted to know that my stories are reaching others and perhaps encouraging them or just making them smile.  I am also happy to know that people around the world are praying for me and my little ones.  That's powerful!

So, the only thing that bugs me... how can I have over 1000 views in one month, and still have only 27 followers.  I don't know WHY I want followers... but I do!  So, if you enjoy reading my blog, would you please consider clicking the "follow" button to the left of your screen.  It would make my heart swell with delight!

Thanks, lovely readers!

Who Wants to Fight?

For those of you who know me now, you might not believe that once upon a time I was a not-so-nice person.  Yup, it's true.  I was super confrontational.  It's something I've prayed about and allowed the Lord to calm my heart.  Granted, I've got a ways to go in the "meek" department, but you should see how far I've come!  However, I've still got a few hot buttons that you should just never push, or you WILL see that confrontational side come roaring out!

On Saturday, we needed to run an errand at Target, and as we pulled into the handicap space, a black lady on the opposite side threw her cart into an unoccupied handicap spot and proceded to walk away. (Normally, I wouldn't comment on her race, but you'll see why...)  So, I look at Mau and say, "Oh hellz no she didn't just do that!" and I get out of the car.  Here's how our confrontation went... we'll call her Queen of the Parking Lot (QPT), since I don't know her name.

Me:  Excuse me, are you planning on leaving that cart there?
QPT: Yeah, so?
Me:  So, what if someone wants to park there?
QPT:  Then she'll have to get her fat lazy WHITE ass out of the car and move it herself!
(oh, no she didn't!)
Me: Really, a HANDICAPPED person is supposed to get out of the car and move the cart?
QPT:  That's not my problem.
Me: Don't you think you should just be curteous and take it to the front of the store or put it in a cart collector...
QPT: Are you gonna call the cops on me?
Me: Uh, no... but it would have taken you the same amount of effort to put it away as it took you to put it there.
QPT:  Then why don't you use YOUR effort and put it away for me.
Me: Yeah, I'm going to... because I'm not a selfish BITCH like some people!

Ok, I lost it at the end there... I know.  But REALLY... some people!  I was actually kinda hoping she would come up to me and punch me so I could call the cops!  That would have been something!

Anyways, nothing got resolved... I moved the cart.  But guys, I had a huge adrenalin rush... I could have fought someone... and won!

When we got back in the car, Mau asked me if I felt good about what I did.  And as I punched the air like a professional boxer, I said Ohhhhh yeah!  Well, he wasn't impressed.  He said that she could have come back around and keyed our car, or hurt me for real and that I shouldn't put myself in those situations.  And he's right... so I blame my motherS.

My mom would have done the EXACT same thing... once she pretended to be a cop when someone parked in the handicap spot without a tag!  And we say that if my step-mom, Vivian, were a super hero, her name would be "The Avenger"... fighting wrongdoing at every corner.  These have been my examples... women who can't keep quiet or let it go.  So naturally, I fall in the same category!  And honestly... IT FELT GOOOOOOD!

IKEA: Worth the Trip, Every Time

Today we took a family day trip... to IKEA.  There isn't an IKEA in Greenville, so we have to drive to the nearest city that does have one, which is Charlotte, NC.  So is it worth it?  Driving an hour and a half with two kids, even crossing a state line, just to go to a furniture store?  Ab-so-lutely.  Every time.  (And how DARE you call it a "furniture store", hypothetical questioner?!) 


When we first got married, we did not know the joy that is IKEA.  But then, one was built in Orlando.  We LOVED it.  I'm talking, we were there most weekends... sometimes we'd just go to eat.  But when we moved to Greenville, the nearest IKEA was in Atlanta... and that's two and a half hours away.  That is, until they opened one in Charlotte... and we were there on opening day!  (That was a total coincidence, but still cool).

Since living in Greenville, we've made the drive up to Charlotte, specifically to go to IKEA, 3 times.  Once when I was pregnant with Marco, another time with Marco and now today, with both kids in tow.

If you've never been, (what's wrong with you?) you totally need to go.  First off, it's massive.  Think, the size of two Walmart's stacked on top of each other. (Though it pains me to compare IKEA to Walmart).  If you have kids that are potty trained, they have FREE child care.  I look forward to the day!  Then you go up to the showroom and it's kinda maze-like... maze-like of awesomeness.  They have everything set up comfortably and beautifully and you WILL want EVERYTHING.

Then at the end of the showroom, they have a restaurant!  And everything is cheap and delish!  But if you choose to eat at the end, they have a little concession stand and you can get 2 hot dogs, chips, and a soda for $2!  Unbelievable!

They had a baby changing room, that we were all able to go in and change diaper after diaper, as a family.  It was a special moment.  AND, if you happen to run out of diapers, guess what?  They have extras there for you... for free.  Awesome?  Yes!

Then, after you've stuffed your face with Swedish meatballs, you head downstairs to the warehouse.  This is where you pick up all the knick knacks you drooled over while upstairs.  This part always takes us the longest.  It's hard deciding between this and that, when they're both cool.

When you come to our house, you can tell we love IKEA.  Not everything is from there, but a good amount is.  We've got:  Our bedroom furniture (Hemnes), 2 Poang chairs, a Tulsta chair, a desk chair, and the Expedit bookcase (the BIG one).  That's just furniture... we've also got a bunch of lamps and other stuff.

Today, although we didn't buy any furniture, we didn't come home empty handed.  We bought:  a hooded poncho towel (for Marco), straws, a clock, a wooden spoon, a canister, a cheese grater, tongs, 4 spotlights, and a small patio table with 2 chairs.

3 hours of driving, 4 hours in the store, 2 kids in a stroller, 4 lunches, 2 diaper changes, 3 temper tantrums, 15 items = 1 fun day at IKEA.  Worth the trip, every time!

What a Difference Hair Will Make

Today I was look through some photos of Marco throughout his short life.  More impressive than his growth through this time, is his HAIR growth!  I mean, I never realized what a difference hair will make on a person.  His face looks pretty much the same, but with the added hair on top, it changes his whole apperance.  Let me show you:

 Here's Marco at 7 months.  Face looks pretty much the same.  Those cheekers... those big brown eyes.  He melts my heart!  But look on top... nothing but peach fuzz.

 Here's my boy at 12 months.  This is his official "big boy car seat" picture.  At the time, I remember crying because he was "SOOO BIG".  His hair is a little longer on top, but so so thin that you see more head than anything else.

He needed a mini-hair cut at this point, because the back was long... like a mullet.  One day, we were sitting for breakfast and Mauricio snuck up behind him and chopped it off!  I was furious!  Not because I like the mullet, mind you, but because I wanted his first hair cut to be special and real... like at a place.  But, I must admit, it looked pretty good and since that was all that was needed, it didn't make too much of a difference.

 Here's my cutie pie at 15 months old.  (Don't judge me for letting him drive... it was in our complex AND he was THRILLED about it so nanny nanny boo boo)


Now, I thought THIS was a lot of hair.  And granted... that is a good amount of growth for 3 months time.  But he's still got a receding hair line (thanks Dad, for those genes).

This was Marco today.  He's 20 months old.  Now THAT's a lot of hair!

We have yet to get his official 1st hair cut, and quite honestly, I don't really want to.  I hate the look of a fresh hair cut... too dorky.  Plus, I really like his shaggy look.  Pretty sure my kids are going to be the ones with long, surfer-ish hair cuts... and why not?!  He's got the hair for it!

Feeding Time Torture

As if it's not bad enough that I spend multiple hours a day sitting on the couch breastfeeding Jonas, but he always has to add to it with torture.  Jonas always releases the stinkiest farts while he's eating.  And lucky for me, they float upwind and straight into my nostrils!  This is my own personal torture session... 6 times a day, at least.

But I guess it's worth it because I look down and see his little angel face with sweet satisfaction.  You know I loooove breastfeeding, and not even the most rancid smelling gas could ever keep me away from it!

Um, What Year Is It?

The reason I ask is because in this modern age of technology, where phones no longer have buttons, cars no longer have keys and video games no longer have controllers, I can not for the life of me understand why they still manufacture and sell this:

Not the mobile of course... Jonas just loves talking to his monkeys... I'm talking about the wind-up mechanism necessary for enabling it.  Wind-up?  Really?!  You don't think they could put a button on there that will let it run for say, 3 minutes? Would that be too difficult or expensive?

As it is, this mobile cost me over $30!  $30 to have to return to it to RE-wind it every 30 seconds... $1 per second, I guess.

Maybe it's the old charm people like about it... brings us back to those good ol' 1800's.

I really don't get it.

Beating the System

Notice, I said "Beating"... NOT "Cheating".  There was NO cheating involved.  But I do have to brag on this awesome bargain.

It's no shocker or mystery... I hate BabysRUs (BRU).  I think that they are a manipulating monopoly that leaves small town folk little or no option but to shop there.  Really, if you need a nipple shield, where else can you go?  Of course, Target has a minuscule baby section, with all of 3 whole aisles dedicated to baby gear... but how can that compare to a SUPERSTORE such as BRU?  It really can't.

The customer service at BRU is a huge joke.  No one knows a thing, and I feel like I have to do my own calculations just to be sure they don't mess it up.  There are absolutely no perks to doing your baby registry there... it's almost like it's expected... because again, where else is there?  This is not the case with wedding registries.  Companies are competing to get your wedding registry with all kinds of perks, customer service ploys, discounts and coupons.  Shouldn't it be the same with baby registries?  Sadly, it so is not.  In fact, if you have to return something to BRU, you'd better have the receipt.  Oh, it was a gift?  Where's the gift receipt?  It wasn't on your registry... oh well, no refund.  LAME-O!

Sure, BRU does offer coupons... that last for like 3 minutes and exclude everything you'd want to purchase with it.  Literally, the coupon says "20% off ANY baby item" and then goes on to list about 1,000 things that are excluded.  Uhh, since when are diapers and formula NOT baby items?  Oh, another funny and oh so BRU typical thing I saw at the store... a sign that read "All customers 85 years and older are given a 1% discount on sales tax for personal use items".  Really?! What can an 85 year old buy that's for PERSONAL USE at BRU?!  I know they sell diapers, but not adult sizes!  BRU, thanks, but keep your 4 cents.

So, anytime I get to take advantage of their system I do.  They currently have a promotion going on, called The Great Trade-In.  Basically, you take any old/used crib, car seat, pack n play, stroller or high chair and give it to them.  In return, you get 25% off of a NEW crib, car seat, pack n play, stroller or high chair.  This seems like a pretty good deal.  Problem was, we didn't have any old gear that we needed to get rid of.  In fact, all of Marco's old stuff is still in really good condition, so we're reusing it for #2.  But, we did need to buy a crib.  What to do, what to do?

Since the boys will be sharing a room, we wanted to get the same crib for #2 that Marco currently has.  He's not ready for a "big boy bed" yet, so we need a separate crib.  When we did our registry (at BRU, unfortunately), we noticed that our crib is discontinued.  They only had 50 in stock for the entire east coast!  The good side of this, was that the price was now reduced from $500 to $350.  But we still had to buy the rails to make it into a full, which was an additional $140.  Since the crib was discontinued, we HAD to buy the rails now, or else we wouldn't have them when we need them, in 2 years or so.

We were in a bind... we had to buy the crib now, or risk not getting it at all... but we didn't really have the money.  We HAD to take advantage of the trade-in promotion.

We went on to craigslist to see if we could buy some really cheap baby gear to make the trade-in.  We were able to find this car seat for just $5.  Note: I would NEVER buy a used car seat for my child... this was JUST for the trade-in.

Because we traded in this car seat, we got 25% off of the $350 crib.  There was also another promotion going on, that if you were purchasing baby furniture and spent more than $400, you were awarded $50 off!  So, all in all, we were supposed to have spent $500 for the crib and rails, but ended up getting 25% off the crib + $50 off the total and we ended up spending only $375!  

So in essence, because of a $5 crappy, used and gross car seat, we were able to purchase this BEAUTIFUL crib for baby #2! Oh yeah!  That's what I call, "Beating the System"! 

I've Dumped The Bump

It's true.  For those of you confused, not my baby bump... The Bump is a website for pregnant women, new mommies and moms of toddlers.  Every engaged girl has heard of The Knot... well, once you're married you graduate from The Knot to The Nest, and once you get pregnant, you scoot (or waddle) on over to The Bump.

                                        www.thebump.com

I found The Bump when I first moved to South Carolina, in my second trimester with Marco.  Since I had quit my job, I had nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do.  Truth be told, I'm not a great house keeper (gasp!), so that didn't keep me occupied for long.  I came across this site and began to gradually become obsessed and addicted to it.  I confess, "Hi, my name is Nicole, and I'm a Bump-a-holic".  I loved being on this site.  Not only was it informative and sometimes supportive, but mostly it was snarky, and competitive. I quickly learned all the abbreviations, and there are MANY, and even had to get myself to not say them in real life (or IRL, for bumpies).
I continued to Bump all throughout my pregnancy and obsessively throughout the first 6 months of Marco's life.  It was easy back then.  While he was nursing, I'd balance the laptop between the boppy and my knees.  Oh, but then Marco learned how to reach.  So, even though he was eating, he was trying to hit the keys.  Once he was about 6 months, I could no longer Bump and feed simultaneously... but I could still Bump during nap times!  So, I did.  It was easy then... he took 3 naps a day, so although I'd Bump for a little while, I still had time to do other things.  Then he cut down on his naps.  Now, he only takes one a day... although it's sometimes 2 hours, I just don't feel that I have enough time to do all of the things I want/need to do AND spend time on The Bump.
So, needless to say, I haven't been Bumping at all lately.  It makes me sad because I really got to know some of these women.  And it's one of those things you don't want to admit, but I did make some real friends there... even though we've never actually met!  These women shared with me their beautiful (and painful) birth stories, and also felt joy over mine.  They supported me with breastfeeding questions, diaper questions, solid questions... (shall I go on?).  I became Facebook friends with many of them, and enjoy seeing pictures of their growing darlings.  They comment on my growing boy and understand the exact stage I'm going through, and feel my pain!
To all my Bumpies who are my FB friends or follow my blog, I do hope you'll forgive my long and permanent absence.  It's not you, it's me.  Maybe I'll be back one day (and then I wont know anyone on there).  For now, I'll continue to enjoy your lives through FB and your blogs.  Thank you for all of the support.  You made my first year a lot less stressful!