A Privilege and a Sacrifice

Not long ago I was at a restaurant with my family.  We were in the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated, and the boys were jumping all over Mauricio, excited to be with their daddy after a long day of work. I sat on a bench, watching them, finally relieved to have no one touching me for a few minutes and have the attention elsewhere.  I could breathe a minute... decompress.

An older lady sitting next to me struck up a conversation with me.
She said:  Is that your son?  (pointing at Marco)
I said: Yes... and that one too... (pointing to Jonas)
She said:  Oh wow... TWO little ones? You must have your hands so full...

-Pause-
Can I just rant for a minute?  This is the MOST annoying, MOST cliche thing you can say to a mother. First of all, DUH.  Of course I have my hands full.  Every mom has her hands full.  Motherhood is hard.  BUT, more importantly, my hands are full, but I LIKE it that way.  My children are not a burden to me.  They're most definitely hard work, time consuming and patience testing, but I love them more than my whole life, so yes, my hands are wonderfully full... and my heart?  Over-flowingly full.

I nodded.
She said: So, who takes care of them?
I gave her a questioning confused look
I said: I do?
She said:  Well yes, I know... but during the day?
Another questioning confused look
I said: I do?
She said:  Yes, yes, but while you're at work... who takes care of them?
I said:  Oh!  I'm a stay-at-home-mom... I don't work.

And here it is guys... the point of the whole story...
She opens her arms, really dramatic-like and says in a sing-songy voice...
"Oooooo, what a PRIVILEGED LAAAADY!"

I
Was
Stunned

I didn't know what to say, so I meekly said:
"Yes, we are blessed.  My husband is a great provider and we're able to make it work".

But that was the wrong answer.
Don't you sometimes wish you had a rewind button?  Ugh.  I could have put her in her place sooooo good, if only I hadn't been like a deer in headlights!

Here's what I really think on the subject...

Am I privileged?  Hell yes.  I am so grateful that I get to spend every day with my kids... that I get to be their teacher, their playmate, their referee, their boo-boo kisser, their nap time snuggler.  It would break my stinkin' heart if I couldn't do those things for them.

But...
Am I a "Privileged Lady"?  Hell NO!  I ain't rich.  We don't have nannies or butlers or chefs or drivers. We had to live with my in-laws for a whole year to save money to buy a house.  Mauricio's car is from 1997.  My car is a hand-me-down from my mom because I totalled my old car, which by the way was my high school graduation gift.  We buy things off of Craigslist all the time.  We clothes shop at Target.  We haven't taken a vacation since our honeymoon.  We don't have texting.  We don't have cable.  We have to strictly budget and save in order to buy the things we want.

We are not rich...
We are not "Privileged"... in the way she was saying it.

We make an enormous amount of sacrifices for me to be able to stay home with the kids.  It's not something we take lightly.  We could be much better off.  We could both have 401K's.  But we don't.  Because THIS is the time for us to sacrifice.

We feel that it is more important for me to be home with our kids... so that we can decide how to raise them, how to discipline them, what kind of things they should be learning, or exposed to.  We make all the choices.  We are in a completely controlled environment.  For us, that's more important than new cars, yearly vacations, Nordstrom clothes.

So yes, it is a privilege... but it's also a sacrifice.
Dont' get confused.